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#1
Here's the story, in short in simple terms.

-Walk into strip club with friends
-Another lame night, I think to myself
-Lose wallet at club, sit at bar and watch over the hill strippers
-Kandy Cane is the stripper on stage
-The stripper wants men to dance on stage with her and asks a random guy up
-He politely refuses
-Everyone cheers the stripper on
-Despite his obvious protests, she drags him out of his seat
-I finally notice something
-No legs
-Obnoxious stripper to stupid to notice, drags man by hands, nubs flailing in protest.
-Suddenly, strip club goes quiet as everyone notices
-Annoying, the stripper throws the man's arm down in disgust
-Underestimating the situation, I laugh loudly and uncontrollably
-Rest of the night, I get odd looks.

What would you guys have done? I'm almost too embarrassed to go back to that place with the guys, and they won't return my calls a lot more...
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#2
Eh. Strip clubs are stupid anyway.
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Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#6
Quote by goest
What you really need is a new amp



What does that have to do with anything?
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#8
Knowing you, I was sure at first that it was some kind of 4chan copypasta shenanigan.

Well, that was kind of a dick move on your side.
#9
I didnt know God went to strip clubs.
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#11
sounds like the most fun you'll ever have at a strip club anyway
Quote by ultimatedaver
We're just trying to help man, cause it doesn't seem like you can get any pizza.
#12
Quote by jimmyled
Knowing you, I was sure at first that it was some kind of 4chan copypasta shenanigan.

Well, that was kind of a dick move on your side.



If you only knew...


<_<
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#13
Quote by GODhimself37
What does that have to do with anything?


OT:
Please excuse my godawful username. I was thirteen.
#14
So going to a strip club is a regular thing for you?

Get new friends, they are clearly losers.
Good Charlotte sounds like...uh...they sound like...um...well, they taste like a popsicle stick thats been shoved up someones ass -Eddie Vedder

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#15
Quote by israels_son
So going to a strip club is a regular thing for you?

Get new friends, they are clearly losers.



Not regular, maybe once in a blue moon.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#16
You had a rough night? The guy has no legs. Count your blessings
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

Last edited by ICOG at Mar 30, 2011,
#17
Quote by ICOG
You had a rough night? The guy has no legs.



If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#22
Quote by Highway60Bob
sounds like the most fun you'll ever have at a strip club anyway

Pretty much this.

And TS you're a dick for laughing at a crippled man
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#23
Strip club? What, are you gay?
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#25
Quote by ICOG
You had a rough night? The guy has no legs. Count your blessings


I don't even know how to respond to this. You could say I am stumped.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#26
Quote by GODhimself37
What does that have to do with anything?


Think about it:

You get a new amp, you start writing new riffsBOOM!Grade A strippers are peeling their clothes off around you, the amputee suddenly grows legs and you become a true GODhimself.
#27
Quote by Gunpowder
I don't even know how to respond to this. You could say I am stumped.

Same here. I'm left without a leg to stand on.
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#28
Quote by barden1069
Same here. I'm left without a leg to stand on.

Sorry to amputate your train of thought.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

#29
(Invalid img)

And then God said, let there be legs!


Seriously though, any advice for talking to my friends?
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#30
bahaahahahahaha gold!
You want some more seeneyj hate? WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT

You're all a bunch of f*cking slaves! - Jim Morrison

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#31
strip clubs are for losers. You look at boobs, but get no action. Hell! you can't even fap!
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#32
Quote by GODhimself37
(Invalid img)

And then God said, let there be legs!


Seriously though, any advice for talking to my friends?


I would tell them that you were laughing because you were really uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle the situation.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#33
Quote by goest
What you really need is a new amp


No one ever gets this.

I would have laughed. It was a hillarious situation. I probably would have laughed if i was the handicapped man. The whole incident is like some bizarre life art.
#34
Quote by spitonastranger

I would have laughed. It was a hillarious situation. I probably would have laughed if i was the handicapped man. The whole incident is like some bizarre life art.



Would you like the know something even moar hilarious?
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#35
sounds like a good story, if you omit the part about you getting laughed at all night

You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#36
Quote by GODhimself37
tr0llzl

And then God said, let there be legs!


Seriously though, any advice for talking to my friends?
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#37
Quote by barden1069
Tell them you just remembered a really funny joke.



That's horrible advice, especially since I was pointing and gasping "no legs.... no legs!"
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#38
Quote by GODhimself37
That's horrible advice, especially since I was pointing and gasping "no legs.... no legs!"

Tell them the joke was about a broken chair and that you have a tic that manifests itself in a way that looks like pointing?
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#39
Quote by barden1069
Tell them the joke was about a broken chair and that you have a tic that manifests itself in a way that looks like pointing?



But I was also saying in between my gasps "that's hilarious! she thought he could walk!"
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#40
Quote by GODhimself37
But I was also saying in between my gasps "that's hilarious! she thought he could walk!"


Methinks you're making this up as you go along.

Admit it...YOU'RE THE AMPUTEE!!!
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