It's really hard to critique this without a better recording. Everything is really drowned out and meshed together, except for the main riff thing(Is that guitar?), which overpowers everything else. It sounds like it has potential, but it's hard to make out stuff in this recording without turning the volume up too loud. Sorry if this wasn't very helpful. If you put up a better recording, I'll be glad to critique it, and I'm sure others would too.

You can check my song out here if you want. It's a pretty rough demo too.
The first 35 seconds just keeps repeating the same thing, and then repeats through the entire song. I can barely hear the vocals, and the guitar & drums don't sound much better. This needs lots of work. I'm sure it would sound way better with better audio quality, and some variety in your sequencer patterns. Please review my music at this link:

I can hear that riff thingy. Can't hear any drums or anything else really. It's all too drowned out and everything is hard to make out. You'll need a way better quality recording for any critique possibility.

I really would like to hear how this really sounds with a good quality recording.
It seems like it could be very interesting.

Please check out my thread and attack it with comments!