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#1
So there is always people that say "You're a teenager, you can't be in love yet" Or "You're ____teen, you can't love someone yet"

What is the deal behind this? Yes sure, teenagers are going through puberty, and they are developing in all kinds of ways, and it may just be "urges" but what about others that are more mature mentally/emotionally? Why can't they be in love?

Why do people assume teenage love isn't "real love"?

SKEDIT: I have a feeling people are thinking this is me ranting. No, I'm just wondering why people assume this. It doesn't relate to me.
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Last edited by skylerjames13 at Apr 2, 2011,
#3
You could be in love.... although it might not last much.
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#4
^this

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edit:edit: actually both of the above
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#7
it could be love... though with all the hormones raging about in the developing body, it could be hard to tell the difference between "love" and "lust." however, just because you're a teenager doesn't mean you can't love someone.
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#8
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You're the one with the old girlfriend right?


Yeah. Why?
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#9
Usually teenagers say that they're in love after about three days, which is not love, or not in my definition anyway
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#10
I find that the more a teenager goes around claiming to others that they are mature, the less mature they actually are. Give it a few more years.
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#11
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You're the one with the old girlfriends right?


fixed
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When I think of the perpetual journey through life
When it always feels like autumn
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And the flowers die
Rain falls in my dreams

- - - - - - - -
#12
Quote by carlos_almighty
it could be love... though with all the hormones raging about in the developing body, it could be hard to tell the difference between "love" and "lust." however, just because you're a teenager doesn't mean you can't love someone.


This is what I meant by "urges"
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#13
It could happen. Or obviously "High school sweet hearts" Wouldn't ever be happily married, but it happens.
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#14
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fixed

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You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

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#15
I dislike when people say that, I haven't been in love but one of my friends was in love with her boyfriend for 2 years. I think people say we teens can't love because there are the dumb ones who say they love every guy/girl they go out with once.
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#16
I do think there is Teen love, But as said, it's the dumb sluts that think their in love with whoever they're with when they have been together like, a few days, and make it sound like they are "the one." This just makes me angry seeing it on msn and stuff.

____ - Omg I love you ____ we'll never be apart, I think you're the one.

*insert break up 4 days later*

____ - OMG **** LIFE, NEVER LETTING THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN.

*2 days later*

Repeat.
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#17
People who say that are invariably your parents/teachers trying to dissuade you from getting up to the same wacky teenage hijinks they did, or people not long out of their teens themselves who think they know sooo much better than you, and feel the need to point this out, for whatever reason.

As someone who was once a teenager, all I can say is, you're probably going to fall in "love", however you choose to define it (and really, you can't pick one all-encompassing definition for it, because everyone's different), and you're probably going to make an utter prat of yourself for the sake of "love". I did!

Then a few years later you look back and think "LOL I WUZ SO NUB THEN HAH I NOES SO MUCH BETTER NOW!"

A few years after that, you'll think "HAHA I THORT I KNOWED BETTER WUT A NUB I WUZ, BUT NOW I R TEH WISEST PERSON EVAR".

I'm sure a few years after that, you go through the same thing again, and so on and so forth

Point is, ignore what people say about how you SHOULD feel or what state you SHOULD be in; only you can know what you really are feeling. What does happen over time, though, is you grow up and gain far more experience and perspective, and your hormones and thus emotions settle down somewhat. Just remember - you were all 15 and in lurrrvee once, too, and the fact that you're older and "wiser" now doesn't invalidate the way other people feel
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#20
It annoys the shit out of me when I see people in my class saying they love each other after 2 weeks of dating. If people have been going out for a few months though then it doesn't bother me. I'm on the lower end of the UG age spectrum, by the way.
#22
I'd easily say I love my girlfriend...and we're both mid/late teens. And I don't see why we can't, to be honest. As much as it's hilariously ironic after statements earlier, we are taking our relationship surprisingly maturely.
#23
Teenagers are inherently stupid and unstable. We have the thinking capabilities of an adult but the emotional control and foresight of children. Teens can be in love but it's best to assume the true love can't be there until you're older. Then if it is, that's cool. If it isn't, you didn't get in too deep. I still love my ex a lot but right now I'm telling her how good one of her friends would be for her even though we broke up a month ago. I love her so I'm not going to deny her a better partner out of spite.
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#24
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Relationships are very different when you're not financially dependent on your parents for food, insurance, housing, etc.

This.

and because teenagers are not ready to commit to the rest of their lives to each other, sure you have high school sweet hearts but that isn't very common. I've known a lot more people who were together for a couple of years in high school and then college came and all went to hell.
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#25
It's simple enough. It takes time and experience before it will actually click in their heads what the point of it all is. Since 99% of teens don't even get the point and probably won't for some time now, it's fair to say that teens can't fall in love. As Vince Neil sings, "Too Young To Fall In Love."
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#26
Because most teenagers think sex is love.
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#27
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Because teenagers are generally stupid.


Same applies to adults, but this.
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#28
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You just posted about having a threesome with your girlfriend and her friend in the sex thread, right? Thats why. As a teen, its all about the pussaaay


It's more for an experience. Why not try it now, than try it later when I could possibly be married?
But this isn't just related to me. As the OP says, I mean in general. I know teens that are in love, but people say "Nope. too young. Obviously not in love/not true love"

I don't agree with it.
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#29
Love is very VERY subjective.

Personally, I don't believe that you can ''love'' someone as a teenager. You just don't have the mental maturity or experience. If you stay with someone through your teen years, and you're both older and still together then I believe that it's turned into love.

But as for actually ''loving'' someone at the age of 16 or whatever... Well... I'm sorry but I don't buy it.
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#30
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Same applies to adults, but this.


I thought that was common sense.

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#31
A lot of younger teens are naive about love. It's just brain chemistry and neural impulses, everyone and anyone can feel it, however it's committed love that distinguishes who's going to last as opposed to who just feels lonely and needy.
#32
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Love is very VERY subjective.

Personally, I don't believe that you can ''love'' someone as a teenager. You just don't have the mental maturity or experience. If you stay with someone through your teen years, and you're both older and still together then I believe that it's turned into love.

But as for actually ''loving'' someone at the age of 16 or whatever... Well... I'm sorry but I don't buy it.


True.
" But as for actually ''loving'' someone at the age of 16 or whatever... Well... I'm sorry but I don't buy it " That's an opinion. I think you can love someone if you have matured enough. Sure you might not love them as much as possible, but it's still love and it's prospering.
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#33
I think as a teenager your emotions can be really heightened to a point where they're more intense than the emotions of adults.

I believe teenagers can feel 'more in love' than adults not because they have a better understanding of love just because what they feel is amplified.

Would anyone agree?
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#34
[QUOTE


WHAT IS LOVE
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#35
Because teens are pretty much stupid when it comes to the opposite sex, it's not love, it's the urge to have non stop sex.

OMG it's love, I'll marry her.

Two weeks later they break up and get with someone else, wait another two weeks and guess what happens, it's like a friken soap opera on SPEED!!!!
#36
Quote by walkingminstral
I think as a teenager your emotions can be really heightened to a point where they're more intense than the emotions of adults.

I believe teenagers can feel 'more in love' than adults not because they have a better understanding of love just because what they feel is amplified.

Would anyone agree?

Those would be hormones....not love.
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#37
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Those would be hormones....not love.


increased levels of adrenaline and dopamine can certainly contribute to the feeling of love
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#38
Quote by walkingminstral
increased levels of adrenaline and dopamine can certainly contribute to the feeling of love


But I don't think love is controlled by hormones.
I think said hormones would control desire, lust, a need to be with a person at all times.

I think love is completely different.
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#39
Love is subjective.

I've been in one relationship that I would skeptically call love. I thought about her so much when I was in the midst of it all. Now, even though I don't talk to her hardly at all, I still get this weird feeling that's a more minor version of how I felt when I thought about her before. That bittersweet feeling of elation mixed with a depressive quality, that's the feeling that I equate to extreme infatuation.

I'll get a far more minor version of that if I've met a girl that I fancy or hooked up with the night before, but it goes away shortly.

But to answer your question TS, I think it's because a lot of the time, teens associate the latter of what I described - the hooking up feeling - with love when in fact, that's not love, just a romantic/physical interest. It feels similar, makes you think about things differently, but real love, I think, takes that feeling to the extreme, kind of like a drug. Everything movie or song I saw or heard I couldn't help but relate it back to her, and that's still the case a fair bit of the time.

At one point, when things climaxed with me and her during our odd relationship, I couldn't stay asleep at night. I'd wake up slight nauseous, slightly sweaty, and feeling really overcome with emotion. Then I'd lie awake for a couple of hours turning things over in my head.

I came across an image through StumbleUpon that said something to the extent of "You don't fall out of love, if you loved someone and now you don't love them, you were never truly in love." I think that's a fair summary of love. It's easy to get caught up in thinking you're in love when you're in the heat of the moment, but when every thing cools off, that's when it's obvious what the deal is.

The fact that I still have a strong feeling towards the girl that I mentioned, even though I realize that I don't have a chance with her, makes me think that I was/am in love with her. Love is something that takes hold of you from the inside and never leaves.
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#40
Quote by Weeping_Demon7
Love is subjective.

I've been in one relationship that I would skeptically call love. I thought about her so much when I was in the midst of it all. Now, even though I don't talk to her hardly at all, I still get this weird feeling that's a more minor version of how I felt when I thought about her before. That bittersweet feeling of elation mixed with a depressive quality, that's the feeling that I equate to extreme infatuation.

I'll get a far more minor version of that if I've met a girl that I fancy or hooked up with the night before, but it goes away shortly.

But to answer your question TS, I think it's because a lot of the time, teens associate the latter of what I described - the hooking up feeling - with love when in fact, that's not love, just a romantic/physical interest. It feels similar, makes you think about things differently, but real love, I think, takes that feeling to the extreme, kind of like a drug. Everything movie or song I saw or heard I couldn't help but relate it back to her, and that's still the case a fair bit of the time.

At one point, when things climaxed with me and her during our odd relationship, I couldn't stay asleep at night. I'd wake up slight nauseous, slightly sweaty, and feeling really overcome with emotion. Then I'd lie awake for a couple of hours turning things over in my head.

I came across an image through StumbleUpon that said something to the extent of "You don't fall out of love, if you loved someone and now you don't love them, you were never truly in love." I think that's a fair summary of love. It's easy to get caught up in thinking you're in love when you're in the heat of the moment, but when every thing cools off, that's when it's obvious what the deal is.

The fact that I still have a strong feeling towards the girl that I mentioned, even though I realize that I don't have a chance with her, makes me think that I was/am in love with her. Love is something that takes hold of you from the inside and never leaves.


Well said, I totally agree. That person has become a part of you forever.

Or as Jeff Buckley would put it:

"It's never over,
She's a tear that hangs inside my soul forever..."
Strange, It seems like a character mutation, Though I have all the means, of bringing you fuckers down, I can't make myself, To destroy upon command, Somehow forgiveness, lets the evil make a loss - Danger Mouse/Sparklehorse/Wayne Coyne
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