#1
papa,

my 7 birthday is taday. i miss you. dad says we are going to the park when you come to visit.
a police man came to school and said cigurets make you die. please dont die. i love you

Nick

Mom,
Yesterday we had a birthday party for me. Being 14 doesn't feel any different. High school is a lot different then middle school. I hope you are feeling better. Alex is still really scared and I dont know what to tell him. I love you but he says he hates you. Drinking isnt good for you and everytime you do you make him upset, then have to go away for months and we cant see you. Dad says we cant visit so I'm not talking to him right now. Call me when you get home, maybe your friend can finish teaching me how to play noseguard. I miss your cooking, but miss seeing you more. I love you so much, please get better.

Nick

"Hi my name is Nick and i'm an alcoholic"
"Hi Nick"
"Addiction to me always seemed ridiculous. I'm a strong person and have overcome much adversity in my life, but this time around I can't seem to win. Drinking has turned into my parent, lover, and God. Maybe because for most of my life sins have consumed most of my family. I'm not hear to preach, and do not wish to be preached to myself. To preach you have to have something over someone else, but I believe that we are truly on the same dried up desert plain. My story starts with..."

2 years earlier...

"Hi, I'm Nick"
"Nice to meet you, I'm Ashley"
We talked for hours. At first I thought she had a bad disposition, but her words have given me lust in so many ways I never could have imagined. However, the one who introduced us came off as an aficion, and I am a sheep.

6 months later...

"Nick, I really cant see you like this anymore."
I bought a pack of cigarettes on my way home and felt even worse. I knew they would hurt me like Papa. But when you get hurt and the only thing you know is hurt, sometimes familiarity can be comforting.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
#2
This seemed a bit too intensive right away. The first stanza was utterly perfect. The rest seemed to get way to emotional way too quick. I feel that if you spread things out a bit that when the subject events came they'd have much more impact than they already have.

I'd love to see you revise this. Serious, serious potential.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#3
Wow that got intense really quick. Very engaging. It seemed really rough though. If you did some editing and revision, this could be amazing. It definitely has potential.
#4
what they said. the idea isn't quite original enough for this to be great as it stands. but its good, just needs to be sifted and strained.
I want Super Saiyan abilities