#1
I just wrote this song over a simple chord progression, but they're some of the most cathartic lyrics I've ever written. I can say for the first time, these are lyrics that have really cleared some stuff up for me. This is the introspective reason behind writing lyrics, right here. I'd love to hear what any of you have have to say about them.
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Wake up to the sound of your innocence going
I didn't take it, you took it from yourself
You need to realize, sweetie, you live in a cold world
and there's no one to protect you from it, and no one to protect you from yourself

So give me something, love
or give me something I can hold on to
but don't give me yourself
because I need something you wouldn't give to somebody else

When you were open for that while I loved you the best
you just don't need to drink to escape, you'll use somebody else
We're all fμcked up in so many ways
but if you told me how I was ****ed up, I'd change that day
(for you)

So give me something, love
or give me something I can hold on to
but don't give me yourself
because I need something you wouldn't give to somebody else

I used to think I wrote these words down to clear you from my head
But now I know I write them to keep you there

So give me something, love
or give me something I can hold on to
but don't give me yourself
because I need something you wouldn't give to somebody else
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#2
makes me think of a brand new/taking back sunday kind of sound. dig
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#3
like it...for me, I fell a certain depth and something to think about for a while, don't know how the chords goes but I'd use some monotonic, darker chords over it, but thats just me ...
#4
Quote by Spine V.
like it...for me, I fell a certain depth and something to think about for a while, don't know how the chords goes but I'd use some monotonic, darker chords over it, but thats just me ...

What I have is a capo on the first fret, and the chords are as follow:

C > C/G > Fmaj7 > C/G

I like using the major chords because it adds a sweet contrast to the rather bitter lyrics. Bittersweet is what I describe love with, so I think it all comes to a nice mixture.
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#5
I can definitely see some really rich meaning in a lot of the lines, but it does need refinement. Just give it a while, come back to it, and you'll see how you can streamline it while still retaining that meaning. Honestly though, it's more important that the initial spark stays the way it is, and stays vital. You don't want to mess with that.

But you can change around stuff like the last line in the chorus. Change it from "to somebody else," to "to anyone else." That way you're not repeating so much and it flows better. There's other lines like that but you get the idea. Really good piece.
We're only strays.
#6
Quote by Weeping_Demon7
What I have is a capo on the first fret, and the chords are as follow:

C > C/G > Fmaj7 > C/G

I like using the major chords because it adds a sweet contrast to the rather bitter lyrics. Bittersweet is what I describe love with, so I think it all comes to a nice mixture.


it's been a while since I was last on ug so sorry for late reply...anyway, the same over here for mixture ...good job