#1
with all the searching done
my feet will move themselves
nomads living the life of movement
will it ever happen?

the answers come
but then they never end
and they become questions again
they fuse into one big connection
that doesn't fit

i can't live without it
i don't know how to stop
there won't be another day
where my mind doesn't run off
in search, in hopes
of the refuse, the driftwood
the hold-over to keep me afloat
to keep my head from sinking
below the life that will drown me

and it will never stop
i'll keep searching, hoping
until i'm at my end
a search for a missing person
who will never be seen again
We're only strays.
#2
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
with all the searching done
my feet will move themselves
nomads living the life of movement
will it ever happen?

I like the way the 2nd and 3rd lines work together.

the answers come
but then they never end
and they become questions again
they fuse into one big connection
that doesn't fit

These lines seem a little ham-fisted at first, second read through they make a lot of sense. I can smell the loneliness coming off these lines. Consider changing 'connection', it disrupts the flow a bit.

i can't live without it
i don't know how to stop
there won't be another day
where my mind doesn't run off
in search, in hopes
of the refuse, the driftwood
the hold-over to keep me afloat
to keep my head from sinking
below the life that will drown me

All I can think of reading this is meth or heroin addicts. But could apply to many things. I like the nontraditional structure, especially here, pretty good stanza all around. I think it would become really effective if you had the first 2 or 4 lines rhyme somehow while keeping the good flow.

and it will never stop
i'll keep searching, hoping
until i'm at my end
a search for a missing person
who will never be seen again

Again, I think of drugs. This stanza also feels like loneliness and disillusionment. Can't really say anything bad about this part.




Overall, I really enjoyed it, the first 2 stanzas are a little jarring until the second time through when you get a sense for the theme. I'd like to know what this poem is about for you. You have good flow in your sentences, or lines, whatever you'd like to call them. I think the worst line is 'will it ever happen?' in the first stanza. Seems out of place.

But overall I did really enjoy it. Good job man

If you have time just tell me if you liked this guy

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=26844820#post26844820
#3
Thanks! This songs about how I'm always trying to understand everything. I can't stop my daily, foremost preoccupation of knowing what reality is really like, or getting some real scope of everything. And ultimately it's about how I've realized that I'll never know and this will just keep up until I'm dead.

Sounds super depressing, but being in song form, it's more focused and acute here.
We're only strays.
#4
Quote by Rules
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I like your writing style, by the way.