Poll: Is it beastiality? Should he lie? (Multiple picks accepted)
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View poll results: Is it beastiality? Should he lie? (Multiple picks accepted)
It IS beastiality
55 25%
It ISN'T beastiality
173 78%
It IS beastiality but should lie
59 27%
It ISN'T beastiality but should lie
81 36%
Voters: 222.
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#1
Pit, please help answering this question for a friend of mine. There is nowhere else to turn and this is such a perfect question for the Pit.

My good friend is applying for a guard job at a prison. He has to take a lie detector to get the job. One of the questions (no joke) is whether or not he has ever had "sexual relations" with an animal.

Here is his dilemna and it's driving him totally crazy: About a year ago he and his gf got a kitten. While they were screwing around in bed, she went under the covers and... there is really no appropriate way to say this... let the kitten lick his nuts. At first he thought it was her and laughed but when he lifted the covers and saw what she was doing he freaked out and got really pissed; he was horrified. That's a really crapping thing to do to someone. (Although I must admit I laughed my ass off when he told me. Poor guy. What a b$%ch.)

NOW, he isn't sure what to answer on the lie detector test. He isn't even really sure it should be considered an incident involving beastiality or sexual relations with an animal, but is so nervous that he feels that no matter what he answers it will come up as deceptive and he'll fail the test. He's really freaking out but wants that job so bad and he'd probably be good at it.

Should he answer yes or no to the beastiality question? Would you consider this beastiality or just a stupid prank that he shouldn't be concerned with? Is answering no, a lie? That's the big dilemna.


And no, it's not me. I kind of think he should answer yes. He gets so mad when I say that, but I told him i'd get other people's opinions that do not know him. What do you think, Pit?? Also, if he answers yes, he might not get the job anyway. So there's that too.
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#2
Oh jesus christ...

Yeah, tell him to say yes to the question. That should develop into an interesting situation.
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#3
How does he know what the questions will be?

Also lie detector tests aren't very accurate.
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#4
As long as he didn't stick it in the pussy's pussy, it's k.
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#5
if he says no, and even a little bit considers that moment an act of bestiality, then the lie detector will pick up a lie. tell him to tell the truth.
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#6


Tell him to just say his Dad's Welsh then he'll be fine.
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#7
I lold.

I don't think so since it wasn't consensual. If somehow it does happen to come up, he should honeslty tell the story. The guards will have a laugh and he'll probably get hired.
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#8
Your friends girlfriend should see a doctor if your buddy couldn't distinguish her tongue from a cats. Cat tongues are like sandpaper or some shizz.
#9
lie detectors? seriously ..

The fact that such things are being used in job interviews really stumps me.
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#10
Lie detector tests are very inaccurate. Just say no. Having the cat accidentally lick his balls is not bestiality.
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#11
What a catastrosphe. He should tell the truth, or tell the whole story should be a laugh.
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#13
i think they like to be called Corrections Officers.
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#14
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#15
Quote by JustRooster
Lie detector tests are very inaccurate. Just say no. Having the cat accidentally lick his balls is not bestiality.


reality is irrelevant in a psychological level. if he is thinking about the incident when he says no, he will subconsciously project it, and the lie detector will pick it the **** up.
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#16
Wow. Knowing cats he should just be glad it only licked his balls.
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#17
Also there's a trick to those things. You gotta clench your butthole when the question is asked and keep it clenched while your asking the question to pass it.
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#18
Quote by laid-to-waste
reality is irrelevant in a psychological level. if he is thinking about the incident when he says no, he will subconsciously project it, and the lie detector will do **** all because that shits inacurate yo.


fix'd.
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You must not do it anymore
#19
Unless he cannot achieve orgasm without the cat present or prefers it over sex, it isn't really Zoophilia/ bestiality, psychologically speaking.
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#22
They ask all sorts of questions on those tests, in CT it is on par with a law enforcement job so they delve pretty deeply. And no-one knows if it's just to see if he will lie or to really find out the sordid things he's done in his past. Or which is worse. The lie or the sordid acts.
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#23
Quote by RU Experienced?
Your friends girlfriend should see a doctor if your buddy couldn't distinguish her tongue from a cats. Cat tongues are like sandpaper or some shizz.

Listen to this man, he's made out with so many of them.

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#24
I love how many other people voted that he hasn't done bestiality, but should lie and say he has.

How does he even know that's a question? Did the employer give him the questions in advance so he could study/practice?
#25
Winning, Epic Winning!

No serious, tell him to say no and explain if the detector picks up like said before. If they go nutbags on him, he should tell them to beat that girl. Or have them put one angry cat (or bird) on her face.
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#27





Just tell him so say no. That's not Beastiality.
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#28
That is the best story I've ever read.

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#29
How could he not tell? Cat's tongues are like ****ing sandpaper.
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#31

It's not really beastiality, but he should tell them the story anyway since he's going to flake.
The people interviewing him will laugh so hard he'll definitely get the job.
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#32
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#33
Quote by Lion_Slicer
I love how many other people voted that he hasn't done bestiality, but should lie and say he has.

How does he even know that's a question? Did the employer give him the questions in advance so he could study/practice?



They always ask the same questions. That comes from other people that we both know have taken the test. They also ask if you have ever masturbated at work.

Which is one of the reasons i'll never take it.

Who knew masturbation was considered wrong!


I'm sorry, I have to disagree about it not being beastialty. It's getting to third base for christs sake. Third base!! You have to admit it's a little more than a kiss...

And I think the fact that it was sandpapery didn't click at first because it never crossed his mind she would do such a f'ed up thing to him. He did say it felt like that but it tickled at first. And then he was like, "Wait a minute!" And pulled up the covers to look.
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#34

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#36
Right, your "friend", eh?
It's ok to be embarrassed about these things.
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#37
It is beastiality, it sn't beastiality, it is beastiality but should lie, and it isn't beastiality but should lie. That's my opinion.
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#38
voted all 4 because i could. nothing else relevant to add.
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#39
Is the question, "did you have sex with an animal?" or "did an animal have sex with you?"

Theres a big difference.
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