I'm rather new here, so I figured I might as well post something up

It's been a little more than a day,
And you feel so far away.
Trying to move on,
but you know it's gonna be hard today...
These tears I cried,
I hope you see them in the afterlife.
Maybe some sunny day,
I'll see you in another life...

Trust me on this,
if I had it my way...
I take you back from the dead,
and see that you're here to stay.

It's been more than a week,
and you're gone for good.
I tried to cry these tears for you,
showing the weakness I know I should.
You will never be forgotten,
and a cross will mark the spot.
And with that, this song will end,
as soon as my years are gone...

It's been a little more than a day,
and still I'm wasting away...

Crit would be appreciated!
It would be really good if you could read the rules. Posting multiples just floods the forum and pushes other peoples work off the first page, giving it less chance of crit.
Also, there are guidelines to titling your pieces.

You can find it rather easily, it's the bold announcement at the top of the thread lists; or, since I'm so nice, it's on the other side of this link.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.