#1
Crit appreciated!


Numb


I walked down by the bridge,

and looked down in the water.

I see my failures floating by,

and it chokes me up inside.

I can't bear to see the truth,

it makes me feel I'm used.

I've seen this coming for awhile,

but I can't explain this feeling.



I can't explain what I can't erase,

and it makes me feel like I'm a disgrace.

I'm sick and tired of feeling,

Like I'm numb...

When you wake up late and put on your clothes,

and you walk right out the door.

And never say how thankful you are,

how you wouldn't be there if it weren't for them.



And the water rushes past my feet,

and slowly it's dragged me under.

Somewhere along the line,

you've wished that they were there for you.

And your intentions were the worst intentions,

and you've heard it all before.

You think that they've got nothing to say,

in the end, that's when your heart will break.



I can't explain what I can't erase,

and it makes me feel like I'm a disgrace.

I'm sick and tired of feeling,

Like I'm numb...

When you wake up late and put on your clothes,

and you walk right out the door.

And never say how thankful you are,

how you wouldn't be there if it weren't for them.



And now you've come to the close,

who's gonna protect you now?

Those promises that you made,

to them began to break.

The water rushes past your face,

and you realize what you have done.

Your ignorance has left you alone,

and your guilt you can't erase.



I can't explain what I can't erase,

and it makes me feel like I'm a disgrace.

I'm sick and tired of feeling,

Like I'm numb...

When you wake up late and put on your clothes,

and you walk right out the door.

And never say how thankful you are,

how you wouldn't be there if it weren't for them.
#3
"Hey, baby. Woo!

I know you believe in me
That's all I ever need. Uh-huh
No no, nothin's gonna stop it
Nothin' will discourage me. Oh, no

Hey baby, uh-it's the only way out
Oh, little darlin', now come on
What's it all about?

Standin' on top of the world
For a little while
Standin' on top of the world
Gonna give it all we got

Oh, I know you wanna touch
I got to have a little taste
I just wanna sink my teeth in that
Fine piece o' real estate. Yeah

Hey baby, woo! Make it nice 'n sweet. Ooh!
Oh, little darlin'
Let's take a walk down Easy Street

Standin' on top of the world
For a little while
Standin' on top of the world
Let's give it all we got

(Ooo-ooo-ooo) Baby, got a feelin'
(Ooo-ooo) Oh, I wanna touch it now
(Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo) See the whole wide world turn upside-down

(Guitar Solo)

Hey baby, woo!

Someday, we'll be standin' on top of the world
For a little while
Standin' on top of the world
'Til we got stung
Standin' on top of the world
For a little while
Standin' on top of the world
Gonna give it all we got

(Standin' on top) Hey baby
(Standin' on top) Hey darlin'. Woo!
Standin' on top
Standin' on top
Standin' on top"


why am i quoting van halen lyrics at you, i hear you wonder.

because i really dont get why anyone could want to write anything less cheerful D:

your writing needs to cheer up there bro, listen to some happy music and let the good times rock \m/
#4
I LOVE your formatting, looks a more propper.

(With the extra spaces for notes and edits and such, good) I like that thinking.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.