#1
Hi everyone,

I only finished writing and recording this yesterday and I'm very proud of it, but am looking for feedback and constructive criticism on where to improve. I'd like to turn it into a full band song eventually but I don't have the means to as of yet...

http://soundcloud.com/jamie29h/the-motherlode

EDIT: I uploaded it to my UG profile too if you want to listen to it on here.


C4C - Promise
Last edited by jamie29h at Apr 9, 2011,
#2
Holy ****, this is awesome! I love the feel.
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Life is like a box of.... like a bowl of cher.... What you make....

Rainbows are fantastic? I don't know what metaphor to use here...



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#3
i love this alot! this is an amazing song.
can i find the lyrics somewhere?
the song builds very well, and i it when it gets strong by the end.
the singing is very well done! sounds very professional.
and the guitar sounds very good also.
i dont have anything that i would fix in it...
except as you said , play it with a whole band.
needless to say - im downloading it


c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1424521
#4
Thanks a lot guys!
The lyrics are slightly abstract but I'll write them on here so you can read them

Silent sirens make violent patterns and
You've been asking for this,
They come in numbers and
Take your temper and
Colour bleeds out your eyes

So run,
'Cos you've hit the mother lode,
Caught out in the sun,
You've hit the mother lode

Shotgun showers and
Razor arrows, it
seems like so long ago
They came in numbers and
took your temper and
Colour bleeds out your eyes

So run,
'Cos you've hit the mother lode,
Caught out in the sun,
You've hit the mother lode

Locked and loaded
You keep falling
We are sucked into this ocean
Stars are falling out again.

This is your warning
You keep falling
We are sucked into this omen
Your friends are calling out again.

x2

Locked and loaded
You keep falling
We are stuck, inside this ocean
The stars are falling out again

This is your warning
You keep falling
We are sucked into this omen
Your friends are calling out again.

So run,
'Cos you've hit the mother lode,
Caught out in the sun,
You've hit the mother lode


There you go!
I'll listen to your song now
#6
Wow, I really like this! It's one of the best things I've heard on here. There's nothing that I can find to fix or change, except maybe a full band. I think the song works great on its own, but I'm very interested in hearing a full band version. I'm definitely going to download this and check out some of your other stuff. Very well done.


If you want, you can check out my song here.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1410420
#7
Quality song man! Well done!

One nagging feeling I get is that the rhythm guitar isn't entirely in tune. Sometimes it sounds a little off. If you ever record it again, just make sure of that.

Mix-wise, I'd double track the rhythm guitar and pan the two far left and right, bitta reverb and you'll get that big ethereal rhythm sound that I think this song is going for! Make sure that you EQ the reverb taking out the very low and very high frequencies so it doesn't glitter too much or muddy up the mix. Also maybe a little compression on the vocals just to bring them out more.

Great stuff, keep it up! Lovin it, especially the lyrics!
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1430221
#8
Sounds a bit like radiohead in the singing
Good acoustic guitar and nice lyrics
good solo song
#10
Thanks for the advice guys, didn't expect such a positive reaction! Could I ask what chord you mean aaron?
#11
This was really good, really chill but really deep. The chorus is strong as hell and flows really well with the verse.
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#12
Hi.. Very good song.. Your use of vocal effects and strong acoustic makes it sound really nice.. no need for drums here.. they would take away from the song I think..
What is your setup.. Doesn't sound that intricate.. Just goes to show how talent is far more important than effects... Sorry Antares.. lol
#13
Jamie,
Thanks for the review! I listened to your intro several times. Every time I hear it, I get a bit more used to it. But the first time I hear the chord or 2 that seems to bug me is at 0:05 (5 seconds). I'm more used to it now, but the first time I heard the song, that portion seemed off to me.
#14
Thanks eddie I use Logic Pro on my Macbook and have an SE condenser mic that I used to record the vocals and guitar, I do have access to a proper studio at my university as I'm studying Music Tech at the moment but as it was only voice and guitar I thought I might aswell do it in my room :P

Aaron, I think I know what you mean... as Cyberbob said the guitar is a little off tune (due to my lazyness :P) so it could be that putting you off!
#16
I've slightly modified the file on the soundcloud so that it includes a little bit of that reverb Cyberbob recommended, along with the compression!
#17
So....I really like this song. I just finished listening for the 8th time now. Excellent track! I don't have any critique for you. I love the raw feel you bring out with the song as a whole. I can tell that you've put a lot into writing this. It damn well paid off too. Amazing material. Following too.

Critique for critique?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1430886
#18
really like the chorus, and the song overall

i like the rawness of this version, it might lend itself well to a bass note finger style version too though similar to what thom plays many of his solo songs, or maybe even just add that element in one of the verses for variety. maybe for some of the vocal effects your doing with the motherload slightly after the 3 minute mark maybe sing one of them in a higher octave?

good song man, definitely should be proud of it!