#1
...on Omegle?

You: A joke.
You: Tell me one.
Stranger: okay let me think...
You: Take your time.
Stranger: Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?
NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?
You: Joke inspector!
You: Sorry for the ambush.
Stranger: no problem
You: I'm afraid...
You: This joke...
Stranger: afraid of what? the negroes?
You: Is terrible.
Stranger: oh it cant be that bad
You: It is in no way a reflection of you.
You: Don't feel bad.
Stranger: alrighty
You: I'm gonna need you to stop telling jokes.
You: Can you do that for me?
Stranger: what do you mean?
You: Don't ever tell a joke again.
Stranger: whys that?
You: Judging by your first one, they are all terrible
Stranger: well yes this is true, but i make people laugh?
You: No
Stranger: do you still think it is wrong
You: I'm afraid you don't
You: People may laugh, but it is out of pity
Stranger: no not really
You: You are ruining peoples lives....CAN'T YOU SEE?!
Stranger: how am i ruining people's lives?
You: Your jokes are crushing their belief in humanity
Stranger: how can you be so sure that my "pity" jokes could have such an impact on a person's ideas
You: I've seen it happen first hand
You: Jokes like yours have destroyed peoples lives
Stranger: hmm well i could see how some of my jokes could change a person's mindset a little but not completly destroy their life.. do you mind giving me an example?
You: Absolutely.
Stranger: thank you
You: One time
You: As I was on my way back from the agency
You: I overheard the beginning of a knock knock joke being exchanged between friends
You: So I stopped and listened
You: The joke was, needless to say, terrible
You: It made no sense
You: I'm not sure the person had a firm grasp of the concept of a joke
You: anyway
You: One of the listeners of the joke
You: After standing bewildered for a few moments
You: Jumped in front of a passing city bus
You: and died
You: DEAD
You: That could have been your joke
Stranger: why did the man jump in front of the bus?
You: It was the joke
You: It ruined his life in a matter of seconds
You: I heard him mutter " no hope" just before he jumped
You: How would you feel if that was your joke?
Stranger: what exactly was this terrible joke? and i would fell horrible
You: Something to do with a ghost.
You: It was a knock knock joke
You: I didn't catch it all
You: If I had....I might not be here today
You: Oh!
You: The punchline was "why are you crying? it's just a joke"
You: Have you ever told a joke like that?
You: I'll take your silence as a yes
You: Which is why I urge you to give up telling jokes
Stranger: hmm not really, i try not to go too far
Stranger: well to be honest
Stranger: i used to never tell racist jokes
Stranger: but then my i met this guy who made jokes like that
Stranger: so i started too
Stranger: and people seem to enjoy it but i do know its wrong
Stranger:
Stranger: and i see that friend everyday so its kinda awkward to quit
You: I can tell you are a very thoughtful, kind, loving, human being
You: You MUST cut relations with this man
Stranger: thank you.. and thank you so much for talking with me
Stranger: you have no idea how long ive been confused and debating this in my head
You: Just doing my job.
Stranger: hes not very nice either and is extremely obstinate
You: You don't need him
Stranger: well the thing is we both take a band course together and i see him every day and sit next to him every day and during marching band season i see him constantly.. he and i are good friends and the other band members are quite awkward.. i dont know what i should do
You: The other members are awkward towards you because you are hanging out with an obstinate racist
Stranger: you know your right.. there very nice when i talk with them.. hes such a dick to say, not to talk with them because there ugly or not cool. he also has the same idea about talking with girls
You: Exactly
You: If you just cut ties with him, you'll have a good chance of meeting a lot of new friends
Stranger: well how would you suggest cutting ties with someone whom i see everyday and talk with?
You: Just start trying to make new friends
You: And start hanging out with them
You: He'll probably be unhappy that you are making new friends
You: But if he is he wasn't a very good friend to begin with
Stranger: Well i already have a set groups of friends who i hang out with and they all kind of know him.. should i associate myself more with the kids he doesnt like?
You: Definitely
You: If you think they would be cool to hang out with
You: do it
You: Don't listen to what anybody else says
Stranger: alright i will do that.. but some of the other members i wouldnt hang out with.. so we'll see.
You: Just hang out with whoever you want to
Stranger: yeah i've been rethinking the guys i hang out with as well.. they can be cool but jerks at the same time but thats another story.. thank you so much, this has been enlightening.. and im just curious are you a christian be chance?
You: I am an athiest, actually
Stranger: Really, well your set of ideals and morals are still great
You: Why thank you
Stranger: No thank you, although you may be an athiest, ive been striving to glorify God for a while and nobody has really confronted me to tell me to stop making these awful jokes
You: Well, I'm very glad I was able to help you
You: That is the ultimate goal of all joke inspectors
You: To help people
Stranger: do you believe you can tell a lot about a person be the joke they tell?
You: Oh, absolutely
You: But you must get to know them a little beyond the joke
You: As I did you
You: I could tell that joke didn't really reflect the way you thought
Stranger: yeahh that is definitely true... the one i was initially was gonna be.. "do you know a pirates favorite letter?
You: No I don't
Stranger: (guess R)...
You: is it r?
Stranger: you might think its Arggg but its the might C!
Stranger: mighty*
You: lol
You: that is a good joke!
You: I'm proud of you
Stranger: hahah thank you! oh no i cannot take credit for it but i retell it often
You: Being a joke inspector, I know when a joke fits a person, and this joke fits you
You: I'm very proud of you coming so far in such a short amount of time
Stranger: hahah you've completely amazed me! well these thoughts have been on my mind for a while now
Stranger: but i havent confided in anyone lately
You: Well, I'm very happy for you
You: But I must be going now
You: I have other jokes to inspect and people to help
Stranger: alrighty thank you so much once again! and i know your atheist but ill be praying for you
Stranger: good luck!
You: That is very kind of you
You: thank you!
You: Good luck to you as well
Stranger: Goodbye
#4
Quote by SKArface McDank
hows about a tl;dr champ!

I saw this post, thought to myself... "What a dick, just read it!"

then got about a 1/4 of the way down and felt the need to apologize for my snap judgment.


TLDR
AMERICA
AMERICA
AMERICA
#5
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      ◂◂  ►  ▐ ▌  ◼  ▸▸


Haters gonna hate
#6
so glad I didn't bother reading that whole thing
E-Father to itorch, Andrea55, guitarxo and BlessedRebel15
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E-Bro to slash_GNR666
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Quote by Andrea55


#8
You: That is the ultimate goal of all joke inspectors


You: Being a joke inspector, I know when a joke fits a person, and this joke fits you



I'm not sure why these lines made me laugh so hard. Taken out of context they're not funny, but reading those lines in the conversation is just ridiculous.

wtf is a joke inspector.
#9
Quote by blake1221
Lurkerdunlurkin shouldn't stop lurkin.

*reported*


HAY! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

i once made a man admit he's gay. it was awesome

not on omegle, course, but it was still cool.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#13
I actually read the whole thing. Took me all of 2 minutes. I giggled ...this kid was being totally serious.
YELLOWFRIZBEE s FreezerBurn


Stepco's Master
|Colowomble 2016|PSN=yellowfrizbee| + UG Community Radio|
#14
I just read all of that. I laughed, I cried, I smiled, and I sighed. It was a nice story.
#16
This reminds me of Monty Python soo much..
Quote by durhamdynamo
I like my coffee like I like my women.

Covered in bees!
#20
Quote by Punk_Ninja
I love the idea of someone believing that something called a "joke inspecter" actually exists.

"Hello, I'm the joke inspecter, I'm here to inspect your jokes."


it reminded me of the 'name rater' in Pokémon.
#21
Quote by unet



I read it. Good shit.

I'm on omegle now.

How is it?

I started a chat, and immediately closed it because these huge wave of feelings (chickening out) came over me.

And I'm not really interested in talking to a stranger. My luck is I'd get some dumbass. But I guess that could be fun. But I feel like they're on there for a reason, and they might want to get to know me too well, and I'd feel obligated because I'm that type of person and then I'd get into a big mess I don't care to.

I'm way overthinking it, but that's what went through my head in the second before I closed the chat.
#22

good Lord man....way to overthink it.

Just start a chat...it isn't nearly that bad.

Don't go on video though....all that's there is penises.
#23
You: never been on here before.
You: gonna have to take the chance.
You: give me something to stay here for pleeeeeees?
Stranger: it is your first time?
You: you speak correct.
You: up is always the way to go in life.
Stranger: i am sorry , i am a newer ,too
You: never try things like this.
You: gonna take the chance tho haha
Stranger: yet , me too ~
You: let me see
You: you are here new too?
Stranger: er,where are you from ~
You: down is fun to go too!
Stranger: yes
You: never been abroad, but i'm from england
You: gonna have to move soon though, it's balls around here
You: run to the shop soon!
Stranger: i am a Chinese
You: around here, there's loads of cool things
You: and china is awesome!
You: desert is tasty, am i right?
You: you like desert?
You: never gonna assume anybody likes desert again, my apolagies.
You: gonna love eating today though
You: make desert is fun, right?
You: you like desert?
Stranger: so so
You: cry!
You: never like people, but i love you.
You: gonna end up loving you more haha
Stranger: i am sorry
You: say what?
Stranger: i can't get that
You: goodbye, you are saying?
You: never go!
You: gonna go, you are?
You: tell me you're not going!
Stranger: ?
You: a few drinks, and i go crazy, my apolagies
Stranger: wait a minute~
You: lie to me.
You: and what?
You: hurt people is never fun, you loonie!
You: you are a gorfeldie.
Stranger: i am sorry , because my English is poor
You: oh.
You: LOLOLOL
You: TROLLLLLLLLLLD
You: TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD
Stranger: sorry
You: READ THE FIRST WORD OF EVERY LINE
Stranger: ppppp
You: oh dear god you special child

TL;DR version; read the first word of everything i post.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#24
That stranger feels so mind****ed now ;D
Quote by metacarpi
I get called a slut all the time, and I'm a dude.

#27
Quote by laid-to-waste
You: never been on here before.
You: gonna have to take the chance.
You: give me something to stay here for pleeeeeees?
Stranger: it is your first time?
You: you speak correct.
You: up is always the way to go in life.
Stranger: i am sorry , i am a newer ,too
You: never try things like this.
You: gonna take the chance tho haha
Stranger: yet , me too ~
You: let me see
You: you are here new too?
Stranger: er,where are you from ~
You: down is fun to go too!
Stranger: yes
You: never been abroad, but i'm from england
You: gonna have to move soon though, it's balls around here
You: run to the shop soon!
Stranger: i am a Chinese
You: around here, there's loads of cool things
You: and china is awesome!
You: desert is tasty, am i right?
You: you like desert?
You: never gonna assume anybody likes desert again, my apolagies.
You: gonna love eating today though
You: make desert is fun, right?
You: you like desert?
Stranger: so so
You: cry!
You: never like people, but i love you.
You: gonna end up loving you more haha
Stranger: i am sorry
You: say what?
Stranger: i can't get that
You: goodbye, you are saying?
You: never go!
You: gonna go, you are?
You: tell me you're not going!
Stranger: ?
You: a few drinks, and i go crazy, my apolagies
Stranger: wait a minute~
You: lie to me.
You: and what?
You: hurt people is never fun, you loonie!
You: you are a gorfeldie.
Stranger: i am sorry , because my English is poor
You: oh.
You: LOLOLOL
You: TROLLLLLLLLLLD
You: TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD
Stranger: sorry
You: READ THE FIRST WORD OF EVERY LINE
Stranger: ppppp
You: oh dear god you special child

TL;DR version; read the first word of everything i post.


Absolutely hilarious.

I'll post some of my Omegle trolling later when I'm on my computer.

I once pretended to be Megatron in every conversation for the lulz.
THIS IS A LARGE DISTRACTING SIGNATURE.