pinguinpanic
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2007
961 IQ
#1
This is a song me and my other band's guitar player are working on for our band's upcoming concept album. I think the song came out really well, but I was hoping to get a bit of critique from you guys to give it the final touches.

I could only upload a .gp4 because Ultimate-Guitar said my other files were too big, but I think a .gp4 will do since it can open in both guitar pro 5 and 4.

Looking forward to your opinions, and I'll be sure to have a listen to whatever you want.
Attachments:
Trick of the mind.gp4
Guitasr:
Cort KX-Custom
ESP LTD M-200FM
Amp:
Engl Powerball
Misc:
Focusrite Scarlet 2i4
Last edited by pinguinpanic at Apr 11, 2011,
CatAmplifier
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2009
136 IQ
#2
wow, that's a pretty cool song
the melody is very cool, i'm not a drummer, but the drums were cool to me
you were able to combine a very nice atmospheric, melodic and fast song. Solos are very nice
if you are to record it somehow, /pm me and I'll download
Sief9
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2009
505 IQ
#3
Hey! Thanks for your crit on Emily I appreciate it, alright here it goes...

Melodietje: I'm liking the notes, it's a pretty awesome intro you have. My only problem is that the rhythm of it sounds somewhat off... Well I just gave it another listen and it sounded better. I guess it's just something that you get used to. I love the drum roll on bar 9.
Introding: I really love this, it's really heavy and I love how the rhythm goes from clean to kind of dirty. Great work here!
Melodieding: I love the harmonics, I love the riffs, overall I really love this part. Especially the guitar riff on 35-36. It's really melodic which I love.
Verse 1: Overall I like this, really something to head bang to.

I'm sorry I just realized the length of this song, instead of going section by section, lemme just tell you the bars that I felt iffy about, anything that I didn't mention I probably loved, so don't take it the wrong way, but I'm sure you wanna hear what to look out for. :P

Bar 59, it didn't really feel that big for my taste on the last two notes, it felt like it needed some power chords on that. And the bass notes sounded off, mainly the second one. 69-84 I loved but I felt it was lacking rhythm. Same with 93-100 and post parts without rhythm :P. Also, I'm not much of a fan of pick bass, I'm not sure how it'll sound on the recording, but I think finger would sound better.

On "Spacy" I felt it was kind of annoying and irritating with all the harmonics, but maybe it'll sound better on the recording? I know a lot of things, MIDI doesn't do justice on. 133-136 I'm sided between cutting off that riff by one note so it's played 6 times instead of 7... I'd probably keep the 7, but I also think playing twice is a bit too much, it'd sound better only 2 bars, y'know? And it sounds like there's a bit too much of a pause in between them.

Overall great song!
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#4
hey nice to see another dutchmen here

anyway i liked your song , the RSE sound was nice allthough your cymbals get a little loud :s

The song seemed to flow well and you had some nice melodys/harmonys and riffs going on.
and really liked the melody part aswell really gave it a maiden feel.

the solo was ok , could have been better honestly , but than again thats just a taste thing i quess.

all in all this was well written and had a good sound ! 8/10

Could you crit The Alamo for me ? its in my sig.


(ps you can zip your files , that way they dont get to big)
Last edited by MobiuZ at Apr 12, 2011,
The Arsis
UG Freak
Join date: Feb 2009
2,378 IQ
#5
I really enjoyed the song. There's really isn't much I would change about the song but I do have to say, it pretty much sounds like generic melodic metal. To be honest, the songdoesn't have anything extremely memorable about it because it has so much standard techniques from the genre. I do have to say that I did like the "melody" and "solo" section. The Final chorus was my favorite part of the song. You did everything that makes a good song (counterpart, bridge, and etc). VERY well constructed song. Good job.
MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#6
hey man thanks for your crit , you explained it very well to me what is "wrong" with my songwriting mostly , the density . and i really need to work on that , and make it more dynamic , though i never took any music lessons or guitar lessons so it really is just trial and error every song.

but i want to point out that if this would be recorded it wouldnt be the exact same , i just use the strings in guitar pro to give it a more full sound , and probably would only use it in the intro , middle break section and outro in an actual recording of this , since that feels right.

oh and i live in Zeist , which is close to Utrecht and i dont have a band , but i do jam alot with a friend. and id love to do a gig sometime

anyway i changed your song a tiny bit :p the 3-4 bar into the melody section didnt feel right to me , and i changed your bass a bit and to me it sounds better

oh and id think it be great to write a song together , see how our styles would blend since its indeed similair , and i think we can learn a lot from eachother , ( maybe from you more than from me :P)
Attachments:
Trick of the mind.zip
Last edited by MobiuZ at Apr 12, 2011,
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,911 IQ
#7
I can say that I was impressed. I was expecting a breakdown ridden shitty metalcore song, but this was a solid piece of good ol' melodic death metal and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Sorry for the short crit, If you want I can give a more detailed one. Also, if I were you I'd drop the guitars to D (standard) and record this, it'l sound amazing.
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pinguinpanic
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2007
961 IQ
#8
Thanks for the many crits everyone..

I sent you a PM on collaborating etc. Mobiuz

And to Ometh, we actually play in C standard, I just wrote this piece with my other guitar that I have in E, so we're hoping to get it recorded in C standard some time. But it's good to see that there is more support for dropping the tuning :P.

We kind of try to keep away from Metalcore influences, while me and the other guitarist do listen to some Metalcore, we kind of try to derive our style from bands like In Flames/Iron Maiden and then spicing it up with our own ideas and adding some heaviness. Although the result might be a bit similar to Metalcore at times, but that is simply because Metalcore bands have approximately the same influences.

Just to be curious, what genre would you dub this piece? I just coined the term Melodic Metal, because we drew some influence from In Flames Melodic Death Metal, but without the death, but looking into it, that genre seems to be non-existent. While I don't mind having no label on my music it's often a bit stupid when you have to sent places to gig an email with your genre and you don't know what to say :P.
Guitasr:
Cort KX-Custom
ESP LTD M-200FM
Amp:
Engl Powerball
Misc:
Focusrite Scarlet 2i4
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,911 IQ
#9
Quote by pinguinpanic
Thanks for the many crits everyone..

I sent you a PM on collaborating etc. Mobiuz

And to Ometh, we actually play in C standard, I just wrote this piece with my other guitar that I have in E, so we're hoping to get it recorded in C standard some time. But it's good to see that there is more support for dropping the tuning :P.

We kind of try to keep away from Metalcore influences, while me and the other guitarist do listen to some Metalcore, we kind of try to derive our style from bands like In Flames/Iron Maiden and then spicing it up with our own ideas and adding some heaviness. Although the result might be a bit similar to Metalcore at times, but that is simply because Metalcore bands have approximately the same influences.

Just to be curious, what genre would you dub this piece? I just coined the term Melodic Metal, because we drew some influence from In Flames Melodic Death Metal, but without the death, but looking into it, that genre seems to be non-existent. While I don't mind having no label on my music it's often a bit stupid when you have to sent places to gig an email with your genre and you don't know what to say :P.


I don't liste to much melodeath, but IMO this is basically Melodic Death Metal: like you mentioned on your influences, this is alot closer to In Flames or At The Gates than All That Remains/Bullet for my valentine, etc.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Madzää
Failing at n00b language
Join date: Apr 2008
1,550 IQ
#10
This is quite solid for what it is - nothing to spectacular, or refreshing, but quite a good mix of stylistics of this genre. As some people said before, the intro reminds of some In Flames stuff. It sounded nice, but it is also quite uninnovative, seeing that nearly the majority of songs posted here feature this chord sequence. Solid work on the drums and the bass for the style, again not really outstanding, but fitting. Nice layering on the guitars in the next part, and a great transition. However, I still find the bass to be lacking. Maybe transfer some melody or at least some runs to it, itßs so sad to see it like this.

The next part was quite nice, but I think the 1/4 at the end is kind of awkward. It´s still not really in my head after a few listens, maybe make the rhythm stand out a bit more. The slow sweeps remind me of In Flames again. I´m finally hearing the bass in the part after it, nice harmonisation going on in the guitars. I´d probably think about using some more nuanceful drum patterns though, and some more subtle accentuation. The next part reminded me a bit of NWOBHM, and got some tension into the song.

Spacey really sounds like Soundgarden to my ears, although I don´t quite know why - but refreshing nevertheless. Some more bass work in the next part, although it is not what I´d have liked it to be, I can see how it fits into the song. I am more a fan of counterpoint melodies in the bass, but this is rarely used in these heavier genres of music. The re-intro fits nice into this scheme, taking the sound "back home". I think however, that you could make the transition a little bit better to the outro melody. The outro melody is quite nice, and then seems quite familiar - its the same as "overgang". I do quite like your repetition, it gives the listener a familiar feeling. Nice play with the delay in the bridge, and a fade out to end the song.

You´ve got quite a solid song here - I´m sure fans of the heavier styles of music will surely like this, but I think you could really polish this by using more subtle accentuation, working outside of the box with the drums & bass. Also, I think that you could change up some of the progressions by using different voicings and interchanging some chords, to get rid of that "sameness", since most of these songs sound very alike. I am no listener of such genres, so please take my crit with a grain of salt. Nice work you got here.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

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Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.


please check out my own album:
almilano.bandcamp.com
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#11
Just a note before I critic, I normally do not listen to this type of music, so beware of that.

I like the melodieje part. Like I said how I do not listen to this type of music so I won't comment on the drums :p I really like the Melodieding part. I like how you use the harmonics too. I love harmonics. I'm usually not a fan of sweeping but you did alright by my standards in the 'slow sweep' section.
'Melody' section is probably my favorite of the song so far. I usually hate metal, but this isn't bad haha. I was disappointed by the 'spacey' section. It didn't really sound spacey to me.
'Outro melodieding' sounded like it would of been a better outro, until the harmonics came into your actual outro. I pretty much like anything with harmonics in it :/

So as someone who normally listens to indie stuff, I rather liked most of this. You had a lot of good riff ideas, I just don't like the drums but I'm pretty sure thats the kind of stuff thats in most metal so I'm sure its fine for the genre. Sorry I couldn't really tell you whats wrong with the song since I'm not sure whats expected in this type of genre. The only part I really disliked was probably the 'spacey' part and that might be because of how misleading it was :P

Anyways if you could critic my song: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1433361