From Your Grave
bampersand
Join date: Jan 2010
604 IQ
#1
So, I started working on this a few days ago, and I'm pretty much out of ideas for it. As it stands, I'm happy with it, but I think it could be better. It's a pretty basic song, it reminds me a lot of Decode by Paramore.

The lead in the last verse I'm iffy about, and I think the break needs something else going on, I just don't know what. I'm pretty happy with the way the verses and choruses turned out.

Any ideas or criticism is appreciated =)
I will also C4C.
Attachments:
First Song.gp4
First Song.gp5
First Song.mid
ASJerrell
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
146 IQ
#2
first off, its really good. you fit the genre or the target to a tee. the lead and chord patterns and key and everything, definitely has a ton of potential with some catchy lyrics and some awesome melodies.

my only criticism is that it feels repetitive in the verse. I'm sure it would be lessened with singing again, but thats how I feel. you could add some studio fills on guitar, add some simple strings, which is in every song nowadays, or whatever else you can cook up on drums or bass. some fills or lead lines on either of them is also a staple of Paramore I feel. Their drummer makes the band imo.

Anyhoo, solid, no exaggerating, an 8. I really did enjoy it.
From Your Grave
bampersand
Join date: Jan 2010
604 IQ
#3
Thanks man! I agree with you about the verse, but I feel like with the vocals it won't matter too much. I'll see what I can do about some fills for it though.

Paramore's old drummer, Zac, definitely made some beast drums
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#4
Drums need a lot of work, it's hard to judge without decent drums. Otherwise it's pretty good.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
From Your Grave
bampersand
Join date: Jan 2010
604 IQ
#6
Matt, thank you
I'm not a drummer by any means, so normally for drums I just do what seems to fit. I almost never use 16th notes either for some reason.
I loved the double bass at the end of the chorus, and all the fills were really sexy. I'm definitely going to use it and give you credit.
MattAnderson111
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
4,155 IQ
#7
Thanks a lot man, I enjoyed making them, let me know if you ever need help laying down drum tracks, I'll be more than happy to help.
Poop.


Yes, poop.