#1
ots first draft/song lyric. No, this is not my final poem here. It's just for an assignment for class.

My Final Poem

Here I am in the basement of a friend's,
I've overslept and overstayed,
and the organs of the house hum me awake,
but I can't lift my head from my hand.
My tongue’s become stuck to the roof of my mouth,
and I thought it was enough to have seen death
scraped from asphalt with a grating scratch
back and forth, hypnotic, while I threw up
in puddles in the front yard until it hurt to breathe,
and since then, my clothes have never quite smelled clean,
and my insides have never quite healed or refilled,
but I wake up more sore and more stiff each day,
and now my mouth hardly exists
to the point that I don't know where my tongue is,
but I can still taste my stomach lining
spurting out from my chest.
It can't escape and I can't stand,
and the last sound I hear isn't my lover's breath
but my body's final coughing fit,
and the buzz of an air conditioner
kicking in for the first time this year
because it's spring and things are waking
just in time to see me, irreparable on cold concrete.

It’s true that any word
could be our last.
My baby brother
showed me that
when he was just
learning to speak,
to make sounds,
to think
that maybe
he shouldn’t be
crawling so close to the road
just before the icecream truck came around the corner.

In a dream he comes to me
on a mountain road.
He is older and his hair is golden,
down to his shoulders.
the sun all around him
glinting off boulders
and humming across
pollen that shimmers
on his skin. He says
all his heroes died
before saving anything
so he's found himself alone
with nobody
and he vanishes in front of me.
I shout how I’m sorry as I wake up
but my eyes still won't open
and my heart disconnects.
My body is broken—
I've overstayed
and overslept.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
Last edited by jiminizzle at Apr 12, 2011,
#4
thanks nirvana

and thank you randy I appreciate that. I've been meaning to get to your last two when i get a chance and will be sure to do so soon.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#7
Wow. This is great, this is a fantastic piece, very poetical in many aspects. Imagery is great, i felt like i was in your friends basement staying awake to the sounds of laundry machines and hums of computers being the organs. This is the best i've seen in a while! If you can, check out the lyrics i just posted up! I believe its under Experimental Lyrics.

Thanks
-Kenny Erdmann