#1
hey guys i have been working on this since last night and just want to know what you guys think. tell me if it flows well and what not, i should be making lyrics and finishing the song soon, all i have so far is up to the end of the first chorus

also if you have any suggestions feel free to tell me. and c4c so we both win =D just listen to "untitled", the other 2 are different stages i have been with it during the last day, thanks

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/NOTAFOX/music/all/play982076
There is a saying in poetry, "show me, don't tell me." here you are announcing everything, like an announcer to a sporting event. "Dave has the ball. Dave passes the ball. Dave picks his ass."

~Zanascross

XD epic win
#2
I'll be honest I really didn't care for the tone or the repetition all that much. It is an interesting sound and maybe it just isn't my cup of tea. I think with a different tone and a bit more variation it could be a pretty good idea. I would want to listen to it with the lyrics thrown in. Maybe then it would make more sense to me.

Here's mine if you could take a listen please: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1431677
#3
Ya, I havnt really played with the tone much yet, I'm gonna get to that soon, and its still early so ill keep messing with it so its not so repetitous thanks for being honest though. I'm on my phone now but when I get on a comp later ill look at your peice =D
There is a saying in poetry, "show me, don't tell me." here you are announcing everything, like an announcer to a sporting event. "Dave has the ball. Dave passes the ball. Dave picks his ass."

~Zanascross

XD epic win
#4
it's hard to say anything with a melody line. I'm not sure if the line that's on top of everything is supposed to be a guitar part or a vocal melody line.

can you comment on my song "Lonely Till The End Of Time" a few threads down.
http://richmusic.dmusic.com

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
#5
yeah i'm going to have to agree with the previous comments. It's a cool idea, i could see it being a song with vocals not and instrumental maybe. The intro was just a little dragged out maybe cut it down a bit. It's got potential!
Check out my songs!!