Poll: What would you do in my situation?
Poll Options
View poll results: What would you do in my situation?
Have a messed up sleeping pattern
27 26%
Quit University
5 5%
Go to university like a normal person
61 60%
Other (explain in your post please)
9 9%
Voters: 102.
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#1
Hello, i am in a long distance relationship with a girl in America , there is an 8 hour difference (depending on daylight savings, sometimes it's 7) and i'm trying to figure out how i'll still be able to stay in touch with her once i start university. I am only going to be in university for 3 days a week though but i have no idea of my timetable yet although at least 2 early morning starts are fairly certain.

I have thought of several options and will post a poll. The most likley outcome would seem to be, for me to really screw up my sleeping pattern and go to bed when i come home from university (it is near my house and i'm not going to live on campus or anything) and sleep till about 11:30pm or midnight then i'll be able to go on msn all through the night and thus stay in contact, although this will possibly cause some hassle for obvious reasons since it's very awkward sleeping / waking hours.

The other option would be to quit university, i'm sure you can work out the ups and downs of this one so i'll say no more.

Then the final option of course would be to go to university like a normal person by getting up in the morning and going to bed at night time. This is my least preferable option as it means i will miss out on speaking with her quite considerably and i really do not want us to drift apart.

Right, if you have any other solutions or things that might be helpful then click 'other' and tell me. Also, if you're here to mock me or long distance relationships or anything like that then i'll report you for trolling, this is not a thread about your opinions on long distance relationships as such so please try to stick to OP unless its really relevant to your post.

edit: poll is up and do not say 'relationship thread' since i really did need to have a poll with this one, its a specific question.

edit2: keep in mind i am used to having a quite ****ed up sleeping pattern, i currently often go to bed at 10am or later anyway, i've generally been this way for a few years when i get the chance to do it, so it's not just due to her. This makes me more in favour of option one personally.
Last edited by Zoot Allures at Apr 14, 2011,
#2
Focus on your schooling, and do your best to keep the relationship going. LDR's fail a lot though, so don't invest too much.
#3
Quote by blake1221
Focus on your schooling, and do your best to keep the relationship going. LDR's fail a lot though, so don't invest too much.

Well she's coming over here next summer, so this really isn't something trivial, i've never felt this way for anyone and she feels the same. I could actually argue that with me (for reasons i don't want to post on UG) that an abnormal relationship would probably be the only way it would happen for me.

Edit: and i do have a friend who has managed to have a successful long distance relationship with his girlfriend in australia, and as far as i know one of them is moving to the others country very soon (which is the case in my one too , except several years down the line )
#5
I'm telling you, if you just focus on uni there will still be enough nights in a week where you'll be able to be in touch with her. You know, the kind of night when other students are out drinking beer.
#6
It's university friend, your sleep schedule is gonna be ****ed anyways.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#9
Quote by Vornik
It's university friend, your sleep schedule is gonna be ****ed anyways.

I wish it was. The problem is that im going to be living at home anyway (the place is very small and very close by) and the hours are as far as i'm aware quite similar to my previous hours, like i said in OP, i'm more than likley going to be doing 2 mornings till around 4 or 5pm.

Honestly, right now my sleeping pattern is ****ed anyway, it's 8:26am now and i've been up since about 7:30pm yesterday. It's probably the reason me and her got speaking so much in the first place due to my nocturnal ways. So it wouldn't be a HUGE change as such >_>

Like i say, i think i might be able to get away with a late afternoon bedtime and a midnight (or near enough) waking up.

Quote by blake1221
That's really cool man.


not sure if sarcasm or not :P
Last edited by Zoot Allures at Apr 14, 2011,
#10
Two chicks at the same time


Quote by Gabel
You are EXTREMELY WRONG! I have played it. I own an 18W and it would be an awful stereo amp, it's way too bright, breaks up too easily and so on. Secondly, why would a guitar store sell an hifi amp.
#11
You probably don't want to hear this, but you really aren't going to want to be talking to her all night every night anyways man. Couple days a week should suffice.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#14
Quote by AliceinChains10
What you need is a new amp.

Hey Satchmo, the suck parade is that way.
Quote by Gabel
You are EXTREMELY WRONG! I have played it. I own an 18W and it would be an awful stereo amp, it's way too bright, breaks up too easily and so on. Secondly, why would a guitar store sell an hifi amp.
#15
yeah...good luck with that.
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#18
Why do you have university lectures at two hours past midnight? I didn't get that.
ERROR 0x45: Signature not found
#19
i was also in a long distance relationship, not intercontinental like yours is, i'm in liverpool (UK) and she was down near london, that 'LDR' lasted about 6 months and she moved here to go to uni so now we're together... and have been for 2 years (inc LDR)

thus presenting you with a few options. a couple of which, you've mentioned.

1. go to uni in america so you can see her
2. f*ck up your sleep pattern to stay in touch via msn (people still use that? get skype...)
3. go to uni as normal, and speak to her less.

now before i post number 4, this does depend on how serious you think the relationship is and how long you've been "going out" for. none of your posts said so,

but 4 is: ditch the girl, focus on uni, you might find someone there with similar interests, hobbies and who may also be attracted to you.

it just so happened my gf wanted to study "popular music studies" (music sociology) and there's not many places better than liverpool for that kind of thing and that's where i am.

also if you stick with this girl don't be under the impression it's gonna be plain sailing, trust me, LDR's have major issues at times, and it is true most of them break up, usually within 18 months, sometimes in splendidly horrific fashion too, but if it's your thing, then go for it. i got lucky i guess...

i mean do what YOU feel is right, this is just my 2 cents worth, good luck and hope you make the right decision.
Belief is a beautiful armour but makes for the heaviest sword.
#20
Quote by sfaune92
Why do you have university lectures at two hours past midnight? I didn't get that.

I don't, it's because we're 8 hours apart and she dosn't really get back to about 11:30pm (by my time) so i'd be staying up in the night to keep in touch.
#21
Quote by Zoot Allures
I don't, it's because we're 8 hours apart and she dosn't really get back to about 11:30pm (by my time) so i'd be staying up in the night to keep in touch.

You could keep in touch with here in the evenings couldn't you? Call her ten pm for a chat or something, as well as having a regular university schedule, couldn't you?
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#22
Quote by sfaune92
You could keep in touch with here in the evenings couldn't you? Call her ten pm for a chat or something, as well as having a regular university schedule, couldn't you?

10 is about 2pm where she is so well within school hours i'm afraid.
#23
Quote by Zoot Allures
10 is about 2pm where she is so well within school hours i'm afraid.

Does she go to university as well? Then you could call her during "study hours".
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#24
Go to university like normal, and use e-mails instead of chat?

It's really the best option, wake up check email write back then do the same the next day or something

The other option should be to break up really :/
#25
Quote by sfaune92
Does she go to university as well? Then you could call her during "study hours".

Nah she's 17 so in high school there. That could well be an option after next year though, or at least in the later end of next year onwards.


edit: and to people saying 'break up with her' well, that ain't happening so it's probably not worth suggesting that to me.
Last edited by Zoot Allures at Apr 14, 2011,
#26
Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah she's 17 so in high school there. That could well be an option after next year though, or at least in the later end of next year onwards.


I assume you love her, but you should respect yourself as well. You could use morning for chatting time. 7 am for you is 11 pm for her, and 3 pm for you is 7 am for her. Furthermore, there are always weekends.

Decide what you feel (or through scientifical research or whatveer) is right. Suddenly you might realise that there are one option that is right, and its YOUR decision, not the PIT'S.
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#28
Quote by sfaune92
I assume you love her, but you should respect yourself as well. You could use morning for chatting time. 7 am for you is 11 pm for her, and 3 pm for you is 7 am for her. Furthermore, there are always weekends.

Decide what you feel (or through scientifical research or whatveer) is right. Suddenly you might realise that there are one option that is right, and its YOUR decision, not the PIT'S.

Well this won't decide for me, this is more just a way of me getting different opinions and ideas going around about it. :P To be fair, as i say in OP i am at college only 3 days a week, which is helpful.

And yes i do love her.
#29
Dating across the pond with a 17-year-old girl? Well...good luck with that.
PM me for newts
#30
Quote by Vornik
You probably don't want to hear this, but you really aren't going to want to be talking to her all night every night anyways man. Couple days a week should suffice.


This. And screwing up your sleep for a couple of days a week isn't that bad. You need to balance your relationship with having a normal social life at uni.
I've been in an LDR for a while, and we got bored of talking to each other all the time on skype.
#31
Quote by Zoot Allures
Well this won't decide for me, this is more just a way of me getting different opinions and ideas going around about it. :P To be fair, as i say in OP i am at college only 3 days a week, which is helpful.

And yes i do love her.

You could study in the USA as well? It might cost more, but you see your girl and rent is cheaper...
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#32
Haven't read any of the other posts to see what they thought, but maybe you could try MSNing with her using offline messages? I mean, sure, the replies may take a little longer to get, but you won't have to screw up your sleep patterns.
#33
Just stay in college, enough dudes around here have already once made mistakes in giving up important stuff for their 'one and only true love'.
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DiMarzio Evolution (bridge) SD Lil' Screamin Demon (neck)

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#34
If you can't **** her it ain't worth it, mah boy. A good education on the other hand is extremely important.
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#36
Other. I was in a relationship with a man in America and we managed to speak for hours every day.

Between the hours of like.... idk starting at varying times between 6 and 8pm GMT and ending between 12 and 2am GMT
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#37
If it's gonna be that difficult to catch each other online or howerver you usually keep in touch. I'd probably just carry on with uni life as normally as possible, and if it leads to a break up accept it. Long distance relationships are kinda doomed to failure anyway.
#38
Long distance relationships never work out as far as I've seen. I have been in one (the girl was a bipolar maniac, might be the reason), a few of my friends have been in them etc and I haven't seen a single one end up happily.

If yours do, well consider yourself lucky.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#39
Long distance relationships can work. People just doom them to failure more than relationships locally for some unknown reason.
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#40
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Long distance relationships can work. People just doom them to failure more than relationships locally for some unknown reason.


Unknown reason? I think it's pretty obvious what that reason might be.

And saying "bla bla bla can work" isn't really saying a lot.

Perhaps someone in the future "can" learn to fly, we don't know but it's possible.

Anything "might" or "can" work, but does that change the fact that most of the time a distance relationship doesn't? No.

But it can work!
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
Last edited by JohnnyGenzale at Apr 14, 2011,
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