#2
it was interesting, i wasnt expecting a country song lol, but it was good. a couple of times i felt like you tried to jam "ok" at the end of a line, but maybe thats just how you wanted the line to sound. the guitar was good, and otherwise your singing was good to. very well made. this is just me, but i can imagine hearing this on the radio with a soft drum beat, bass, and violin in the back lol
There is a saying in poetry, "show me, don't tell me." here you are announcing everything, like an announcer to a sporting event. "Dave has the ball. Dave passes the ball. Dave picks his ass."

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#3
I'd be interested to hear your voice in a lower timbre, I think with your vocal style it would sound really good. Another thing I think you could work on is lyrically most of it was good and fitting for the song but I feel like there were a couple parts where you could possibly find something a little better to say if you put just a little more time in on it.
#4
I'm not really a country listener but I can't deny that you do the style very naturally, especially your voice.
The structure seems to have been thought out properly. I can really relate to the lyrics and the ending is pretty funny! As you hinted at in your post, I think you could now work on adding some other instruments and textures to the song to make it a bit more full sounding. Of course this is optional and it depends if you were just going for an acoustic song or something more.

Overall though I like it!
Are You Shpongled..?
#5
I'm going to start this off by saying, i'm not the biggest fan of country, the only country artist i listen to is Brad Paisley.

Rhythm- The song seemed to flow very naturally, you did a good job with the song writing. Together the vocals and the guitar clashed together very well.

Lyrics- In the beginning I was a little iffy about your lyrics, due to the first verse. It just seemed weak to me, and I thought there could be a little more work done. I did end up enjoying the lyrics after all the though, I liked the main line in the chorus, "...get out of my way, you're stalled in my lane...". Overall the lyrics we're pretty good.

Guitar- It worked really well, it had good theory behind it. The only problem I had is when you would strum certain chords, I can hear you picking the chord, it sounds like your using a pick, if so I would recommend using a fingerpicking style for a song like this.

Voice- The voice was good, it definitely portrayed the country theme very well.

Overall, the song was very enjoyable and I liked it a lot. Keep on working.

If you could, here is my songs:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1431853
#6
I really like it man. Its really laid back and chilled out. I like your acoustic guitar tone as well. How're you recording? Very very nice man. Really dig the chilled out acoustic feel of it. The vocals are really good and the lyrics/singing suit the track. I'm a fan! Just curious, did you use a 2-5-1 near the end?
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#7
Hey man, thanks for the crit. Much appreciated.

No mix notes, just production and writing here:
Guitar:

Guitar is pretty much perfect. At the 1:00-1:10ish guitar should be more busy. Especially with the space in the vocals. Something needs to fill the gap. Feels too stop-and-go for an otherwise smooth song. Fitting chord progression for style and vocals.

Vocals:

Take the following with a grain of salt. To put it simply, I've heard better, but I've definitely heard worse. As far as actual singing goes, you have a complete lack of confidence in your singing. It's better to be wrong and strong than right and weak, especially in live performance. Sing from your diaphragm, not your throat. The combination of throat-singing and likely some second-guessing of yourself leads to a weak-feeling voice. You can definitely carry a tune, and with practice, you could become a very good singer. But to quote my band's producer, "stop singing with your vagina." As you gain confidence, you will tune more easily, and will just sound better in general.

When it comes to lyrics, there's too much space. I'm not going to comment on content since I'm not a lyricist and have very little sense of lyrical maturity. The guitar cannot get busy enough or often enough to make up for the space in the lyrics. Either lengthen your phrases or revise the lyric set. For instance, you could say "one [last] smoke" and just add the one word. It would already add much more fluidity to the lyrics.


Overall, very solid start. Good ideas are abundant throughout the piece. It still seems a little on the patchwork side, but it has a lot of potential. I'd like to hear it when it's done.

Sorry for the wait.

Cheers.
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