#1
Hey, haven't posted in a fair while, so here goes, one more, ive put chords to this, got it going on, so yeah, comment, rate, like/dislike, whatever....

Lost Love (And Wooden Tears)

*Verse*

Everydays been the same since I met you,

Got none the wiser after hearing your news,

Was it my fault I had no one to talk to?

Or was it you, you who turned me blue?

*Verse*

This path we've followed is breaking under foot,

The lines we crossed now just another of our thoughts,

Ours ears no longer ringing with laughter,

Now we're breaking the ice with our wooden tears,

*Chorus*

The sun shines on the road of our mirrored past,

The light dawns upon us, it's all gone way to fast,

Rain falls down and uncovers our lost love,

Pain is all that remains of the damage that's been done,

*Verse*

But now that i've seen a change in you,

You've traveled far beyond your old values,

Leaving me was the best thing you could do,

We cleaned up and drenched our issues,

*Verse*

You took it upon yourself to follow your own path,

To never void from the centre, 'til you had done the math,

To find laughter and love in your coming years,

Never again weep another wooden tear,

*Chorus*

The sun shines on the road of our mirrored past,

The light dawns upon us, it's all gone way to fast,

Rain falls down and uncovers our lost love,

Pain is all that remains of the damage that's been done,

Thanks for your time,
Cheers,
TheAscendant
#2
This is interesting because it has some good imagery, yet quite a few words and lines that are simple to understand. The latter is for better and for worse, depending on the style of music you would want this to go with.

Rain falls down and uncovers our lost love,


I very much enjoyed this line^ as it invokes emotion and the imagery is very abstract, yet I can still envision the rain.

My only other issue is that I don't quite understand the symbol of a "wooden tear." I just don't particularly find it to be the strongest image, which inadvertently causes the entire poems to sort of fall down around it.

Don't take that too harshly though, as I think you have a pretty decent piece overall; especially if music was put to it!