#1
I feel like being a slacker today and I didn't do my essay for eng 101

What are some of the goofiest most ridiculous excuses you have ever used for class, like potentially getting an extension for making the teacher laugh goofy?
#2
Dog ate it.
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#5
My bike arrived 20 minutes late.

My grandmothers only grandson died.

Or my favourite if you need to skip class during class:
"I need to go to the hairdresser to cut my hair"
"Couldn't you have done that BEFORE class?"
"Before class I didn't need to".
#7
Student: Do not try and read the essay. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Teacher: What truth?
Student: There is no essay.
Teacher: There is no essay?
Student: Then you'll see, that it is not the essay that bends, it is only yourself.
#8
I reckon you should pull out the dog excuse - it's so stereotypical the teacher won't believe you're making it up, or you know, you could do the work?
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#9
I could not complete my essay due to sexual exhaustion.
Then wink lewdly at her (or him) maybe you'll get lucky (or slapped).
#10
Quote by Galgawine
I could not complete my essay due to sexual exhaustion.
Then wink lewdly at her (or him) maybe you'll get lucky (or slapped).



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#11
I can't. I don't have arms.
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#13
You know the old "Can you get in trouble for something you didn't do?" excuse?

Yeah pretty lame I know, but my teacher actually laughed when I said it and gave me a weeks extension
#16
Quote by Galgawine
I could not complete my essay due to sexual exhaustion.



Then maybe you should've written it with your other hand.
Last edited by tyler_j at Apr 21, 2011,
#17
Quote by tyler_j
Then maybe you should've written it with your other hand.


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#19
It ate my dog so I drowned it.
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders
#20
Quote by MakinLattes
I don't give excuses, I just tell the truth. more often than not it's "I just didn't give a fuck". like today.

This
#21
Quote by MakinLattes
I don't give excuses, I just tell the truth. more often than not it's "I just didn't give a fuck". like today.


is this youuu?

#22
I told my teacher I didn't get my planned signed
because they shackled me to a pipe in an underground bathroom a la Saw
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#23
We made a guy who lost a bet say this in class today:


"Yeah, my homework ate my dog... I had to burn it, you see. The homework was evil! I mean, seriously, what kind of homework eats dogs?"
#25
Just say you got caught in your friends legs and couldn't get out:

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#27
I was dead at the time!
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#28
Not ridiculous as such, but I got a good chuckle out of my mate turning up to English class pretty stoned and 15 minutes late. His excuse: "Ah sorry miss... I was chattin' to my good friend Mary. Lost track of time, you know how it is."
#30
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#31
If it's December.

Sorry I'm late, I was looking for the number *insert appropriate date* on my advent calendar.
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#34
You are being sent to prison, but it should only take you a day or two to escape.
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#35
Quote by MadClownDisease
Student: Do not try and read the essay. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Teacher: What truth?
Student: There is no essay.
Teacher: There is no essay?
Student: Then you'll see, that it is not the essay that bends, it is only yourself.

That is pretty much win.