#1
Haven't been on this site in somewhere around a year, but I thought it might be nice to get criticism on a piece I wrote a long time ago that's still one of my two favorites out of all the ones I've written. I posted it a long, long time ago, but never got any comments so I thought I'd give it another go.

I don't know who my god is
But I know he's bigger than me
If I'm all we've got to give
I promise we're not free
We're shackled in our promises
Our falsities and lies
And our ability to forgive ourselves
while some one better dies
Celestial murder for man's earthly bliss
Trading our kingdoms for a briefly lit kiss of
Paradise, of anonymous make, an
escape from this odd place where sinners aren't fake
Drowning ourselves in preemptive suicide
Sins in shallow waters leave little room to hide
Below a mind's inflation is the soul gasping for air
grasping for help in reach without knowing if it's there
Nailing ourselves on a cross we made
holding time in our hands
watch it fall as we fade
Even if it sounds sad
I feel slightly ashamed
Shouldn't it seem crazy
How can we assume galactic fame
No way I'm an angel
No way he's chained to me
Man places himself to gently in clouds
When he looks down there's no room to be free
shooting up rainbows
Clutching what we own
In fiery salvation
The heart's overgrown
I don't know who my god is
but I know he's bigger than me
with everything so ****ing wrong
There's got to be some higher song