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#1
my mum makes the fucking best sandwich ever of this shit, i have it every morning and evening it's the best thing ever it has like the best taste and the contrast of the beautiful crunchiness of the seeds and the awesome softness of the bread makes me explode phallicly almost instantly because it's so fucking epic and i can't comprehend just how good it is even when i'm eating it IT'S SO GOOD I WANT ONE FUCKING WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MOTHER

anyway yeah post your shit
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#2
Beatings.
Quote by Riffofthebeast
hitler could have conquered the entire world if he just sent an assasin to every enemy country and have their leader assasinated
#3
EVERYTHING!!!

Seriously, I love my mum
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#4
Lie down on the couch and tell me about your mother. How does she make you feel? Interesting you used the term "phallic" in your description of your appreciation for her sandwiches.
#8
Quote by laid-to-waste
my mum makes the fucking best sandwich ever of this shit, i have every morning and evening it's the best thing ever it has like the best taste and the contrast of the beautiful crunchiness of the seeds and the awesome softness of the bread makes me explode phallicly almost instantly because it's so fucking epic and i can't comprehend just how good it is even when i'm eating it IT'S SO GOOD I WANT ONE FUCKING WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MOTHER

anyway yeah post your shit


your mother makes the best sandwiches of the shit you have every morning? That is just wrong
Last edited by dhruvrajvanshi at Apr 24, 2011,
#11
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
There's something more than slightly pathetic about getting that excited over food.

It's just food.



you have not tasted good food yet
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#12
Your mother is good at making sandwiches? Jeez what a surprise, aren't all women? That's what they spend their whole life doing in the kitchen.
#14
She's good at annoying me a lot of times.
Quote by PsiGuy60
Banned because f*ck you Hebriqui.
I'd been going for a month or so.


Quote by Peres.T.Peanut
oh **** you
#15
My mum gives the BEST blowjobs.

Edit: OT, she makes fantastic lasagne, and is generally a really good cook


Although she's not as good at ironing as she should be...
Last edited by whoomit at Apr 24, 2011,
#16
Quote by whoomit
My mum gives the BEST blowjobs.


agreed.

i mean, about your mum. not mine, that's fucking sick.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#17
Quote by whoomit
My mum gives the BEST blowjobs.


I know.
Quote by skater dan0
Damn you and your ninja-like modding
#19
Quote by laid-to-waste
you have not tasted good food yet


Yes I have. What do you think I have lived on all my life?
#20
Quote by whoomit
My mum gives the BEST blowjobs.

Edit: OT, she makes fantastic lasagne, and is generally a really good cook


Although she's not as good at ironing as she should be...
meh

I've had better....2/5
#21
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
Yes I have. What do you think I have lived on all my life?


bad food
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#23
Quote by laid-to-waste
my mum makes the fucking best sandwich ever of this shit, i have it every morning and evening it's the best thing ever it has like the best taste and the contrast of the beautiful crunchiness of the seeds and the awesome softness of the bread makes me explode phallicly almost instantly because it's so fucking epic and i can't comprehend just how good it is even when i'm eating it IT'S SO GOOD I WANT TO FUCK MY MOTHER!

anyway yeah post your shit


I think I discovered the subtext hidden in the OP.
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Damn you, bodyheatseeker

Quote by Paramore.
bodyheatseeker, I will NEVER forgive you.

#24
Quote by bodyheatseeker
i feel the need to point this out because i subconsciously want to fuck my mother



agreed
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#25
Cheating on my dad, lying to her children, tearing up my family, taking my sister and moving to Texas.

Swell gal.
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#26
She's a pretty good mechanical engineer, and she cooks the most amazing food

Mum <3
<Omri> I love trannys too..
#27
My mom has amazing filling-in-tax-forms skills.
Ceci n'est pas une signature.
#28
Quote by laid-to-waste
my mum

explode phallicly almost instantly

Something is wrong. I don't see it.

My mom is the best at everything.

Apparently, so is everybody else's. Mother's day should occur 356 days in a year.
#30
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
There's something more than slightly pathetic about getting that excited over food.

It's just food.


go eat a plate of SHIT! that'l excite you
#31
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
There's something more than slightly pathetic about getting that excited over food.

It's just food.

woman, if I could, I would cook for you like my momma taught me and prove to you that food is not just food.

On topic, my mama is best at advice. There has not been a single situation in my life where my mom has not given me great advice. My mom has seen a lot, and although she has numerous faults, she's a pretty wise woman. Gotta love her
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Apr 24, 2011,
#32
My mother cooks like a boss. I just got back from a year living on my own and I think I nearly orgasmed at dinner last night compared to the shite I cook for myself.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#36
Quote by bodyheatseeker
My Mother's deaaaaad!


oh. i take that back.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#37
Quote by triface
Something is wrong. I don't see it.

My mom is the best at everything.

Apparently, so is everybody else's. Mother's day should occur 356 days in a year.


What about the other 9?
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#38
Quote by MakinLattes
she's best at being my mom. she's also good at protesting.

out of curiosity, does she protest regularly, and what does she protest against?
#39
Quote by bodyheatseeker
I think I discovered the subtext hidden in the OP.


somebody's getting awfully defensive for a couple of jokes

#40
Quote by CoreysMonster
woman, if I could, I would cook for you like my momma taught me and prove to you that food is not just food.



I can appreciate good food but it doesn't make me want to have sex with the chef.

Extra especially not if the chef is one of my parents.

WRONG ON ALL THE LEVELS THAT THERE ARE.
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