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#1
Since we're all in here discussing music theory, why not post some funny stories of people failing at theory?

[if this thread has already been made, please post a link to it]

"A minor and A phrygian are the exact same thing!"
Woffelz

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#2
People generally saying that there's no point in learning music theory. It pisses me off.
I can only listen to so many breakdowns and "spoken word" vocals before I wanna puke.

I find Jennette McCurdy attractive, but Elizabeth Gillies and Debby Ryan much more so.

That's enough, Djent people. We get it.
#3
this isn't really theory, but what do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
#4
whats the difference between a flat and g sharp?

That one pisses me off...

Oh, and people explaining modes that don't understand them.
It's NEVER Lupus
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#6
Quote by catdawg426
this isn't really theory, but what do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

Ab minor.

DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM!
#8
when Michael Angelo said this in speed kills
the lick is simply a diminished
harmonic minor arpeggiated
sequence of dominant stitonics
descending down in whole steps
in the Phrygian mode...with a
raised fourth.

extreme amount of fail
Last edited by dhruvrajvanshi at Apr 24, 2011,
#9
my brother is in college studying some advanced jazz guitar stuff. he was telling me how modes are unneccessary to learn 1-by-1 because when u use the major scale its all the same crap, and he ended up saying...

"in fact, one of them is the same as the minor scale. i think its like lydian or some shit..." i've ony been playing a year and i know its aeolian.

but looks like the first post has nearly the same fail so i'm gonna come up with a different one

a dude here once made a thread abt a friend of his who wrote a song in 4/5. yes, 4/5, in that order....
#10
i heard a guy saying a chord could have up to 4 notes at most, when we all know it can have as many notes as there exist on the tonal palette
#11
Threads giving a bunch of chords and then asking what comes next as though there is one answer.

People transposing the chords of a song to roman numerals and then thinking they've just analyzed the song.
Si
#12
I tend to be forgiving of ignorance, unless they're asses about it. But I may find an incorrect statement to be chucklesome.

Oh, and spending enough time in MT will put modes in a special dark place in your heart.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
Last edited by rockingamer2 at Apr 24, 2011,
#13
Quote by rockingamer2
Oh, and spending enough time in MT will put modes in a special dark place in your heart.

+1

When one of my friends keeps asking for new scales to learn on bass, I just tell him different modes of the major scale. Then he goes and learns boxes for them. I wonder when he'll learn
#15
Quote by Zen Skin
"If you study all that theory and stuff you'll never be original!"


That.

Also...

"What's the difference between 6/8 and 3/4?"

"I like heterophonic texture because it's not like the gay one."

and

"A C dimished triad and an C augmented triad are the exact same thing."
Woffelz

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#17
When people persist on learning things/having things explained, without the foundation to understand them. When they don't get what they asked for, they counter that simply by parsing down their question (still ignorant with just a smattering of fact, to draw out the theory correctionists), and posting it in 3 different ways on the same day, to get the answer they want to hear, and chancing that if they post it enough times, someone will feel pity for them, which in effect allows the willfully ignorant user to create their own charity-based cadre of private instructors to hand feed them by proxy, all the while claiming they have a private guitar instructor.

While I consider that fail, it is entertaining to watch how many people fall for the siren song without ever making the connection.

Equally amusing is watching the same user try to assist others with his half baked "wisdom".

Sean
#18
Quote by Sean0913
When people persist on learning things/having things explained, without the foundation to understand them. When they don't get what they asked for, they counter that simply by parsing down their question (still ignorant with just a smattering of fact, to draw out the theory correctionists), and posting it in 3 different ways on the same day, to get the answer they want to hear, and chancing that if they post it enough times, someone will feel pity for them, which in effect allows the willfully ignorant user to create their own charity-based cadre of private instructors to hand feed them by proxy, all the while claiming they have a private guitar instructor.

While I consider that fail, it is entertaining to watch how many people fall for the siren song without ever making the connection.

Equally amusing is watching the same user try to assist others with his half baked "wisdom".

Sean


There's some repressed emotions here Sean you should get that looked at :p

On topic; A fairly newbie sax player I was chatting to said that when you want something to sound happy you use sharp notes and when you want it to sound sad you use the flat notes... DOH !
#19
How about when I complained that the GCSE music coursework (ALL of it is about the music industry) was pointless and my friend said "Well it helps with music theory." Needless to say I laughed in his face and explained actual music theory to him.

The problem is that he still doesn't care about theory and insists that you don't need to know it, and that "Metallica don't use music theory." Even if this was true it doesn't mean it won't benefit you if you learn about theory and there are many better musicians than Metallica around anyway, despite most of my musician friends thinking they are the be all and end all of music.
#20
I've met a guy who mentioned:

1. Everyone can create/play what Between the Buried and Me and Dream Theater created..
2. You will kill the art if you use alot of technic and theory!
3. I'm a musician since I know all of the song constructed by the basis of Do Re Mi..

well, to be honest, is it just me or this guy speaking the truth?
Last edited by ikantuna at Apr 25, 2011,
#21
Quote by Don't Panic Ok?
Ab minor.


Lolz
"Could everyone please stop sounding like everyone else that's trying to sound like meshuggah?"

-Emil Werstler

Quote by damian_91
Kurt Cobain, the best guitarist to ever live.

#22
Things I thought were funny initially became less funny after the 50th time I saw it on this forum.

I guess some threads are amusing, such as "what scale do I need to sound like x band", when the answer is always some form of the major and minor scales. I like the ones which go "I have a song with A B C D Eb in it, what key am I in?", with the TS convinced that the song must be in a byzantine scale/key etc.

But that modes stuff, I no longer find it funny. Someone needs to delete all that crap from the internet (this site included) so people are no longer misled.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#23
Quote by AlanHB
Things I thought were funny initially became less funny after the 50th time I saw it on this forum.

I guess some threads are amusing, such as "what scale do I need to sound like x band", when the answer is always some form of the major and minor scales. I like the ones which go "I have a song with A B C D Eb in it, what key am I in?", with the TS convinced that the song must be in a byzantine scale/key etc.

But that modes stuff, I no longer find it funny. Someone needs to delete all that crap from the internet (this site included) so people are no longer misled.


Tell me about the mode crap! Please?

From what I know, a mode is a major scale played from the a note other than the root note. Please correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm nearly there.
Woffelz

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#24
I once had an argument with an choir singer after he claimed that the 4th in a sus4 chord had to come from outside the key and that that was why it was called 'suspended'.
#25
Quote by Jehannum
I once had an argument with an choir singer after he claimed that the 4th in a sus4 chord had to come from outside the key and that that was why it was called 'suspended'.

I actually facepalmed after reading that
#26

Tell me about the mode crap! Please?

From what I know, a mode is a major scale played from the a note other than the root note. Please correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm nearly there.


Pretty much.
It's NEVER Lupus
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#29
Please tell me about these mode articles that give off so much hate....

Anyway, I confused the hell out of my music teacher with guitar articulation notation on the stave. I'm not sure if he actually looks at my homework.
Woffelz

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#30
some common fails I often see here.

modes aren't scales
scales aren't modes
Modal music and music using the Major minor tonal system are completely different and not at all related.
The Ionian mode and the Major scale are 2 completely different things.
you can't play with feeling because emotion isn't inherent in music.
You can't write music if you don't understand theory
you can't write original music if you learn songs written by other people
shred is gaudy music
#31
Quote by GuitarMunky
some common fails I often see here.

modes aren't scales
scales aren't modes
Modal music and music using the Major minor tonal system are completely different and not at all related.
The Ionian mode and the Major scale are 2 completely different things.
you can't play with feeling because emotion isn't inherent in music.
You can't write music if you don't understand theory
you can't write original music if you learn songs written by other people

wat?
#32
Quote by Woffelz
Tell me about the mode crap! Please?

From what I know, a mode is a major scale played from the a note other than the root note. Please correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm nearly there.


It is, but obviously it is not the same thing because the half steps and whole steps are different. so if you play in a certain mode, it will have that special modal feel. like the phrygian b2, that is the main characteristic of phrygian, and gives it it's unique feel. Technically e phrygian has the same notes as c major, but you'd have to use the e of c major as the root to get that phrygian feel.

learn all the modal shapes then look up "pitch axis theory" and you'll have a pretty basic understanding. The rest of the understanding comes with application of the modes in improvisation.

My biggest pet peeve is people telling me that the more that i learn the less I will be able to express myself. Or people insisting that playing a lot of notes is not as expressive as playing four notes in a solo.

Well, if I wanna go backwards, I can always do that, and play like two notes a measure when I'm soloing. And now that I know theory, if I really wanted to I could now try my hardest to avoid it completely whereas someone who does not know theory would be unwittingly using it all the time, just not having any idea what they are doing. So :P to those people
"Things seem pretty crummy, but if they could carry us away with them, we'd die of poetry. In a way, that wouldn't be bad." -Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#33
Quote by ikantuna
I've met a guy who mentioned:

1. Everyone can create/play what Between the Buried and Me and Dream Theater created..
2. You will kill the art if you use alot of technic and theory!
3. I'm a musician since I know all of the song constructed by the basis of Do Re Mi..

well, to be honest, is it just me or this guy speaking the truth?


number 1 is true, but it takes a lot of practice. Not anyone can do it, because not a lot of people are willing to put in the time and effort to learn how to do all those things. number 2 is false because art is a matter of opinion and, moreover, an expression of beauty. Learning to be a great painter does not "kill the art", does it? why does no one ever say this about other artists?

Theory is a way for humans to try and understand what they have been hearing in music for many years now, and what really sounds good to our ears. I see it as a tool to make things manageable and categorize things like chords so that a single musician can make sense of it all, not guidelines or a rulebook for all kinds of music.

Even classical composers went out of key sometimes, and obviously anything imaginable is possible. But where would your basis for beginning to undertake such an endeavor be if you did not at least have somewhat of a grasp of what the most common things (and quite a lot of uncommon things) in music are? That's what theory is about, understanding as much as possible about what you are doing so that you can create BETTER art, with more understanding of exactly what your doing.

And number 3 is false because only someone who plays an instrument is a musician, that's what music is, playing an instrument (or singing). of course, ear training and musical hearing is very important but you aren't a musician unless you create or play music. If he plays music, then yes he is a musician, but if he does not play music, then he isn't a musician. simple logic, my friend

Don't let what people on the street tell you sway your logical mind, because learning how to be the best guitarist that you can be isn't going to make you some hack, it is going to make you a really good guitarist.
"Things seem pretty crummy, but if they could carry us away with them, we'd die of poetry. In a way, that wouldn't be bad." -Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#34
Quote by dhruvrajvanshi
wat?


Thats right.
the idea that you can't write music without 1st understanding theory = fail.
shred is gaudy music
#35
Quote by Woffelz
Tell me about the mode crap! Please?

From what I know, a mode is a major scale played from the a note other than the root note. Please correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm nearly there.


http://trillian.mit.edu/~jc/music/abc/doc/Modes.html
"Things seem pretty crummy, but if they could carry us away with them, we'd die of poetry. In a way, that wouldn't be bad." -Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#36
Quote by GuitarMunky
Thats right.
the idea that you can't write music without 1st understanding theory = fail.

sorry I misunderstood your post in a hurry. Shit I must be really stoned
#37
Sat behind some guy in one of my first language and theory of music classes:

Lecturer: (looking at SATB task we had to do) You've got this all wrong, what are the notes of a G major chord?
Student: errm, G...C..Fb??
Lecturer: How on earth did you get on this course?
Last edited by griffRG7321 at Apr 26, 2011,
#38
I've actually heard some people say:

- Major chords need to be timed perfectly on every beat, not in between.
- Minor chords can go all over the place, it doesn't need rhythm.
- All augmented chords, like Fbdim and Drop A# need an off note to sound cool.
- Guitar's only have # of frets, they can't match the chordal possibilities of a 12 meter long keyboard.

The worst isn't even about theory.

- When you convert the scale of the guitar from inches to centimeters, you get a baritone guitar !

meh................
#39
Quote by dhruvrajvanshi
sorry I misunderstood your post in a hurry. Shit I must be really stoned


NP
shred is gaudy music
#40
Quote by Woffelz
Tell me about the mode crap! Please?

From what I know, a mode is a major scale played from the a note other than the root note. Please correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm nearly there.


There is a modes sticky. Click on it. There are more to modes than that.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
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