Alright, this is a new that I just finished. Mainly inspired by Nevermore (Riffs - 'This Godless Endeavour' Album), Cynic (Riffs - 'Traced In Air' Album), Angra (Melodic Ideas - 'Aqua' and "Temple of Shadows" albums) and Beyond Twilight (Structure - 'For The Love of Art and The Making'). So if your trying to work it out, then you can visit some of their works (Beyond Twilight is the best of them, IMO). Edit: Finished with the exception of a guitar solo and melody here and there. It's about 10:24 long. Press F5 if your more interested (On the GP5/4 file that is). Just while trying to upload the MIDI and GP5 file, the computer told me they're too big. So I don't know if GP4 changes the song much but bear that in mind if something comes off as really weird. I've also started recording the first section at school. I used some mathematics (Arithmetic and Geometric sequences) to calculate delay times and volume levels. That was cool.
Last edited by HaydenHohns at May 14, 2011,
Sorry the thing's way out of order, I let it play a couple times and followed along, and when I was critiquing, I noticed the alternate endings.

Sorry about that. :P

Here we go...

The first section sounds really cool, I like the harmonies a lot, but turn up the drums, or just the kick pedal, as that can add a lot more depth and order into a song.

Section II once again I really like the harmonies, But measure 16 sounded out of whack (the harmonies didn't really fit here.)

Section III this part sounded like it need something else, like another guitar playing V(5) chords.

Theme one feels like it ends to abruptly, try having a hanging chord or crash hits on the drums to mellow it out.

Riff reminds me alot like porcupine tree...

53 reminds me of opeth....

The guitar solo I thing should have had bass and drums in the background

Measure 84 reminded me of Nevermore, I can see the influences. good work with that.

Measure 100 didnt really fit, then the guitars came in and it sound AWESOME!

I like measure 68 and on, It sound really cool, and I really like the harmonized solo!

Overall, Pretty damn good song.


Crit mine?
Last edited by YesterdaysToday at Apr 25, 2011,
Killer song, but just to let you know, Keith Merrow already has a song called "Pillars of Creation".
Y'all don't say that
@YesterdaysToday: Thanks for bringing my attention to the harmonies, that was actually a mistake. I'll bring the volume up on the Kit on the next time. I've added much more now so you can take another look if you wish (I'll crit another of yours or if you update the one you asked me to crit then I can do that one again if you want). I preferred to keep the bass and kit out of it for that section as I was going for an eerie intro like 'This Godless Endeavour' or 'Bittersweet Feast', but each to his own.

@jackblackyeah17: What a shame, see I pulled the name out from a book because I also do Physics and I am interested in the Astrophysics/Quantum Mechanics area. So that's where the name comes from if you're curious.
Last edited by HaydenHohns at May 13, 2011,
Theme I was a good start to the piece. Riff A's jazz guitar was great, and the following bars were great too. I don't see any real dissonance in bar 16, or did you fix it already to the diminished harmony?

The following semi classical power metal bars are awesome too, And I like the jazz guitar refrain. Sweeping bars were done well, with some taste too.

Clean section with fade in is good, although bars 53 to DUNNO drag on.

And then the file glitched with the repeats and it brought me to the end.

C4C? Mine is fairly short.

@Life Is Brutal: Yeah, you just missed it by about 3.283 hours. It wasn't really dissonant, it just created some unwanted intervals. Semi-classical Power Metal...hm...perhaps I have invented PowerJazz, LOL. Glad you noticed that the following acoustic section used the same chords as written before. If it glitches, try importing the MIDI file (If you use GP) and see if it works. It happened to me a couple of time when downloading other GP files.

Thanks for the crit, already returned yours.
Critting as I listen.

Early transition, but I like it, sort of like cynic.

Bar 9
The fast alternate picking riff is also like something Paul Masdival would do, which is ****ing amazing. Love it so far.

Bar 18
Melodic chord progression, fits really well.
Also love how you keep putting that harmonized riff over different backrounds and it works so well.

Didn't get the long pause in 18-43, I guess it's still work in progress?

Bar 43-
Nice, dark acoustic progression, even though it's kind of overused in metal songs it still sounds good here.

Epic acoustic solo.

Bar 68
Favorite part until now, has a middle eastern vibe to it, love it.

Would've been cooler if that riff in bar 83 was played by the bass as a fill, but nevertheless, great transition to the next part.

Bar 106
Sounds like the malaguena chord progression, which is awesome that you used it in a metal song.

Oh sudden end, needs to go on.

Really amazing work you got there, I'll give it an 8/10 for now..

crit mine?
It is a bit of a transition riff I guess. I did that incase I choose to write a section preceding it.
Don't worry about the pause though, that was just to signify the two different sections if you were listening to the old MIDI file which I have since completed. I kept the fill as guitar related as possible because Guitar came before Bass for me. I think I ripped that chord progression from YYZ by Rush, who probably ripped that chord progression from some latin artist (Ha!). That transition was inspired by the one in Holy Wars...The Punishment Due by Megadeth. Really glad you liked the piece, I'll let you know when it's done. Anyway, I'll crit yours now.
Theme 1 - Really sick, love it.
Riff A - The sudden change it nice, works well.
Theme 2 - Little bit iffy sounding to me, but not bad.
Theme 3 - Loveeeee it, seriously. I really feel it was too short this time though, the sudden changes get kinda off feeling after a while. Maybe it's jus tme.
Theme 4 - Sounds kinda standard and somewhat unfitting to the rest of the song so far. Almost as if just there for a bit of 'flash.'
Riff B - Really like this bit, love the hints of darkness mixed with hints of beauty.
Riff C - Really tense section, but works well. Love that for once someone builds the perfect amount of tension, not too much or too little.
Riff D - Had a BTBAM - Ants Of The Sky moment for a couple strums there... Works well though!
Solo - A lot of great sections and ideas, but again I feel quite a few little pieces are just 'fast' for the sake of being so and not really in the best interest of the music. All the parts where the melody is the clear focus are fantastic, IE: 65-67, 69-71. Just my opinion again, might sound better on a real guitar.
Riff D works well again after.
Theme 5 - **** yes. Absolutely fantastic. Had a great classical feeling to it.
Riff E - \m/ Sick though, love the middle eastern feel to that riff.
Riff F - Feels really empty in comparison with the abundance of other amazement I've heard throughout the song.
Riff G - Blah by itself buttttt...
Theme 6 - Completely brings it together. Feels far too short again though in my opinion. =/
Riff E works great coming in again.
Riff H - The first chord feels really out of place... Just not very smooth to my ears. The rest isn't bad though, though the distorted chords coming in at this point kinda feel like a 'haven't I already heard this before?' sort of thing to me.

Overall, tons of fantastic ideas, I just feel there needs to be quite a bit of arranging of them here. I know I'm not one to speak on the subject, but the structure is even too scattered for me at points. Individually though, sections are fantastic and have a ton of potential. Hope to hear more of what you do of this!
Arms Of Empire
^ ^ ^ Band I am involved in ^ ^ ^
Please check it out? ;D

Axe FX II + EBMM JP6 + Jackson DK2S
@Life Is Brutal: No rush, I'm very busy with my studies so I'll probably end up reposting it when its completed.

@BigBigWater: I'm glad you said what you said as I wasn't sure whether to extend the sections or not. Now I know for sure when coming from a Prog Listener. So when I get a decent amount done I'll let you know and I'll crit another of your compositions.
Third listen: I like the quick intro/transition into the clean, and the harmonies in bars 3-4 are nice. The distorted tremolo picking has grown on me since the first listen. I'm thinking something should enter at 13 though, perhaps some kicks to accent certain beats, just to give it a forward momentum of sorts. That's just personal preference though.

The first four bars of Theme III sound a bit... melodically lacking to me. As I mute the lead guitars, the chord progression sounds fine, so it's probably the lead that's irking me. I don't think it does the progression justice. It may just be personal preference, again.

I noticed that throughout the first few sections, there was never really any continuity between them. They all transitioned into one another very abruptly, either with sudden stops (as with 16-17) or just the fading out notes (as with 5 and 27). I'm not sure if this was your intention, but I think I'd prefer more flowing transitions between sections.

I think this is why I like Theme IV. Riff A kinda builds up to it and then flows into it really nicely - though I'm not sure if I like the sweeps at 37 and 41. Some notes don't seem to fit? Other than that it's a good section.

44 and on contained my favorite sections. The way you transitioned into Riff C was weird, but awesome. I liked the riff itself as well.

I was going to mention the sudden mood change of everything after bar 44, but then I noticed it was Part II.

I liked the solo. I imagine it'd sound great with the delay. I loved the phrasing in 69-70.

Theme V, I wasn't such a huge fan of. Again, I feel like the lead isn't doing the chord progression justice - Not that it's a particularly amazing or original progression, but I still feel like the lead could be much better.

Riff F is cool though, serves as a nice lead-in to Riff G. I love the bend in this section, sounds really heavy. And I actually like the lead that enters The triplets in 102 are really cool. I hope to see this riff repeated in the finished version. You're also not doing the abrupt transitions anymore, I notice.

Riff H is really cool, loved the chords at 112 and 113, but I was disappointed that they weren't repeated when the distorted guitar came in.

And then starts Part III...

So far, it is pretty cool. I was a much bigger fan of Part II than Part I. In any case, there's a lot of interesting stuff here and I'm looking forward to the finished version.

EDIT: I agree with the last crit, I wanted Theme VI to last a bit longer too
Last edited by RedDeath9 at May 13, 2011,
@RedDeath9: A lot has changed now, so many of the recommendations made by others have now been accounted for. However I don't know how to address the fact when someone says they love Theme V but another says they hate it. If anyone is having a second crit here then I am still happy to C4C another of yours (whether it's an updated version of one I've already critted or an entirely new one).