#1
Cory Becker-Warren
Prof. Towell
ENG250
24 April 2011

1. Basically, there is a girl nicknamed Red Riding Hood because of the hooded cloak that she wears all the time. She is asked by her mother to go to her grandmother’s house to give her some food and wine, because she is sick. Red Riding Hood goes off to her grandmother’s house, which is through the forest, and while on her journey she meets a wolf. The wolf asks her where she’s going, and she tells him that she’s going to her grandmother’s house (and stupidly tells him where she lives), and goes on her merry way. The wolf, obviously knowing where granny lives, takes a shortcut and eats Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, puts her clothes on, and gets into the bed. Red Riding Hood finally shows up and brings the food to what she thinks is her grandmother, but is actually the wolf. She gives the wolf the food and wine, and commences with the “what big ears you have; what big eyes you have…” etc. and the wolf eats her, too and then falls asleep. A woodsman happened to be strolling by and thought there may be a problem over at granny’s house so he heads over there. He finds the wolf sleeping in grandma’s bed, so he cuts him open and grandma and Red Riding Hood come out alive. Red Riding Hood puts giant rocks in the wolf’s stomach to fake that they’re still in there, and they live happily ever after.
#2
I lol'd the most at Professor Towell.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#3
Still alive? I guess that's why they say "wolfing" back your food. Man you're supposed to chew a bit to get some flavour.
#4
My e-mail is all jacked up, so I had to send this to here so I could pick it back up and print it when I get to school.

Lol You're a Towell!
#5
What is the point of this thread?
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#6
You're in college and you're doing a book report on Little Red Riding Hood?
#7
Quote by b r y a n
You're in college and you're doing a book report on Little Red Riding Hood?




I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that it is a book report on Little Red Riding Hood, or the fact that the Professor actually assigned this task for a grade.
"Notes are expensive, spend them wisely." - B.B. King
#9
First off, the point of this thread is that I'm poor and don't have a thumb drive, so I had to send it to here so I could print it out at school. Second off, I'm in a mythology and folklore literature class, and we had to read like 6 different versions of Little Red Riding Hood, and read some guy's thesis on why, because of the advent of children's stories, that folklore became less grim and aimed more toward teaching kids.
#10
Quote by I Have no Soul
First off, the point of this thread is that I'm poor and don't have a thumb drive, so I had to send it to here so I could print it out at school. Second off, I'm in a mythology and folklore literature class, and we had to read like 6 different versions of Little Red Riding Hood, and read some guy's thesis on why, because of the advent of children's stories, that folklore became less grim and aimed more toward teaching kids.


That.. Actually.. Exists?
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#12
Quote by b r y a n
You're in college and you're doing a book report on Little Red Riding Hood?

This.
WHOALASKA!! WHOALASKAAAA!!!
#13
Quote by me_llamo_juan
I mean, you could've emailed it to yourself or sent it to yourself in a pm, but whatever.


Just did that. My E-mail doesn't work on my comp, so I did the other one.
#14
Quote by Trowzaa
That.. Actually.. Exists?

I assume you've never been to college...they have the stupidest classes you can think of
Beauty Supreme

Yeah you were right about me
#15
Quote by Trowzaa
That.. Actually.. Exists?



I have the option of taking a poetry in rock and roll class next semester
#16
Quote by I Have no Soul
First off, the point of this thread is that I'm poor and don't have a thumb drive, so I had to send it to here so I could print it out at school. Second off, I'm in a mythology and folklore literature class, and we had to read like 6 different versions of Little Red Riding Hood, and read some guy's thesis on why, because of the advent of children's stories, that folklore became less grim and aimed more toward teaching kids.


Weren't the grim parts just a fear factor to teach children? And by the way, aim for Anne Sexton's versions in her book Transformations some are absolutely incredible.
NYY _______________________________________________ NYG
#17
Quote by Frank_Black
I have the option of taking a poetry in rock and roll class next semester


DO IT!
#20
You should consider DropBox. It's like an online memory stick.
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#21
Uhm this has to be like grade 7 right?


No paragraphs, hard to read sentences, first or third person? etc.


Also did you just start a 3 sentence "essay" with the word 'basically'?


edit/ also this isnt an essay, this is called a summary, your professor is going to absolutely destroy you in grading this, i hope you realize.
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Last edited by JimmyBanks6 at Apr 25, 2011,
#22
TS, I think it's supposed to dig a little bit deeper than that if you're in college.
"Homoerotic undertones and eternal quest for enlightenment in Moby Dick" deep.
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Last edited by PsiGuy60 at Apr 25, 2011,
#23
Quote by Guitarist132
I assume you've never been to college...they have the stupidest classes you can think of


I'm 17 and from England so no
Although there was that woman from Liverpool who got a degree in The Beatles.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#25
Quote by I Have no Soul
First off, the point of this thread is that I'm poor and don't have a thumb drive, so I had to send it to here so I could print it out at school. Second off, I'm in a mythology and folklore literature class, and we had to read like 6 different versions of Little Red Riding Hood, and read some guy's thesis on why, because of the advent of children's stories, that folklore became less grim and aimed more toward teaching kids.


at home:
1. www.getdropbox.com
2. download awesome software, get 2gb free.
3. put text in folder Dropbox created (on your user or documents folder)

on school:
1. go to getdropbox.com
2. log on (don't downlaod it)
3. find your file
4. download your text
5. ???
6. profit.

Way better than having The Pit comment upon your ltext.
#26
Quote by Trowzaa
I'm 17 and from England so no
Although there was that woman from Liverpool who got a degree in The Beatles.


My mates and I considered getting a Diploma of Sodomy, but figured we'd fail the practical exams.

Alcohol was involved, but the idea was still enticing when sober.

EDIT: It should be noted that we actually thought that it was possible to get such a diploma.
Last edited by tyler_j at Apr 25, 2011,
#27
Quote by I Have no Soul
Someone just delete this, please.

You'd want to work on your grammar my son. Grammar Nazi my arse...
#28
Quote by I Have no Soul
DO IT!


Apparently all you do is sit around and listen to the Allman Brothers, which is pretty much all I do anyways.
#29
Quote by Frank_Black
Was The Pit just used for something.. useful?


Say it ain't so . .
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#32
Little Red my way - (From my blogs)
Little Red Riding Hood The Politically Correct Ver

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them.

Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house.

"But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?"

Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?"

Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible for women to oppress each other, since all women were equally oppressed until all women were free.

"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"

Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't stereotypical women's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of community.

"But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's sick and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"

But Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what some people called "health".

Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors.

Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers.

She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.

Red Riding Hood's teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf.

She replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity."

The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way."

Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her Grandmother's house.

But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature as a predator. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing matriarch."

The Wolf said softly "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood said, "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!"

"You forget that I am optically challenged."

"And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have."

"Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."

"And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"

The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood bravely shouted.

"You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!"

The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp on her.

At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing an ax.

"Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.

"And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding Hood.

"If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams."

"Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species!

This is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.

"Thank goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."

"No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper.
"I've been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do you have any aspirin?"

"Sure," said the Wolf.

"Thanks."

"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any Maalox?"
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#33
Quote by Frank_Black
Was The Pit just used for something.. useful?



Could it... could it be...?
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