#1
In the title.
Post 'em here!

So I really needed a piss earlier today. I opened to the toilet seat lid to find a spider in there. I proceded to piss all over it.

Also, I found a copy of the Sun in the bathroom. I couldn't control myself...I exploded all over the page lol

EDIT: I meant funny OR horny. I should've explained that better. My bad.
DOUBLE EDIT: The Sun newspaper has a topless model on page 3, in case non-British Ugers wanted to know.
Woffelz

Twitter
Youtube
Tumblr

Ibanez RG2550Z/SRX430
Alesis Core 1
BIAS FX


I'm a student. I've got no time or space for an amp!
Last edited by Woffelz at Apr 25, 2011,
#2
I was in a public bathroom at a restaurant. Somebody had the shits. They farted so loud, and I couldn't contain my laughter. It was hilarious.
Tool
Sleep
Gojira
Puscifer
Neurosis
Sunn O)))
Meshuggah
Modest Mouse
Electric Wizard
Mammoth Grinder


Lucid Dreaming Thread
#4
TS, sorry, but not only is that massively degrading and sick but it sounds like you're 13 if you can't control yourself just cuz your saw some breasts.
#6
i once was in a restaurant, had the shits, farted quite loud and some immature bastard outside the cubicle burst out laughing...
Belief is a beautiful armour but makes for the heaviest sword.
#7
Quote by chaos13
I was in a public bathroom at a restaurant. Somebody had the shits. They farted so loud, and I couldn't contain my laughter. It was hilarious.


This happened to me in an airport. I was the one laughing, just to clarify - which in turn got about 10 other people in the bathroom in hysterics. The culprit did not show his face until we had all left
#8
he's not far off Lottaizzy.

Epiphone Hummingbird
Epiphone Futura Custom Prophecy (Twin EMG)
Vox Valvetronix VT20+
Vox Wah
Boss MD-2
Danelectro Cool Cat Drive
Boss EQ


#9
You have one weird fetish, TS
Quote by maidenrulz19
When playing any pokemon game and encountering a fisherman with 5 or 6 FUCKING MAGIKARP!!!!!!! I mean the thing is useless and it only gives like 7 exp points each. Yeah eventually that guy can have an army of gyarados but still.
#10
sat in mcdonalds gents toilet in valetta, Malta. Cracked open the ipod touch browser, last thing i'd been looking at was porn. proceeded to masturbate using mcdonalds free wifi for at least 25 minutes. shit was so cash.
DIMETHYLTRYPTAMINE
lol
#11
it's better than pissing on tabloids and jizzing on spiders though, Sizzleby.

Epiphone Hummingbird
Epiphone Futura Custom Prophecy (Twin EMG)
Vox Valvetronix VT20+
Vox Wah
Boss MD-2
Danelectro Cool Cat Drive
Boss EQ


#14
Sex in a bathroom with the bathroom attendant watching.

Your thread is over.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#15
Anyone here ever got Delhi Belly? Not fun.


I once got filmed fapping...I was like "haters gonna hate" and went on like a boss.
#16
Always love an opportunity to share this pic



What I found in a bathroom stall at the Atrium on the Bay in Toronto on Valentine's Day.

My question is... did someone just walk out with a bunch of dicks in their coat?
Quote by richwatkinson
haha You pwned an entire website....i bow down...

TheDudeBox
#17
Quote by strat0blaster
Sex in a bathroom with the bathroom attendant watching.

Your thread is over.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

*Don't say doin' your wife don't say doin' your wife don't say doin' your wife*

Doin' your... son?
Quote by maidenrulz19
When playing any pokemon game and encountering a fisherman with 5 or 6 FUCKING MAGIKARP!!!!!!! I mean the thing is useless and it only gives like 7 exp points each. Yeah eventually that guy can have an army of gyarados but still.
#18
This one time I was just going about my daily job attending the bathroom and some douches came in and had sex in the bathroom.
Quote by Milesthedude
If you're havin' room problems I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems but a room ain't one.

Artist of the Month: Mic Righteous




Birmingham City FC

Carling Cup Winners 2011
#19
Quote by Sizzleby
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

*Don't say doin' your wife don't say doin' your wife don't say doin' your wife*

Doin' your... son?



Pea.....


Tear.....


....


GRIFFON!
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#20
This didn't happen to me, but to a couple of my band mates. They were in Whitby for the weekend (for those who don't know, some small boring English seaside town where Dracula is set). They were in some pub, and speaking to the landlord for a while. Later on, one of the guys from the cast of Heartbeat (for those of you who don't know, some awful out-dated English series) turned up at the pub for a drink... I think it was the fat ginger one. Anyway, a bit later on, when one of them went into the toilets, he saw the landlord in there with the guy from Hearbeat, both of them had their pants down, and one was getting a good bumming.

True story.
#21
Quote by Ziphoblat
This didn't happen to me, but to a couple of my band mates. They were in Whitby for the weekend (for those who don't know, some small boring English seaside town where Dracula is set). They were in some pub, and speaking to the landlord for a while. Later on, one of the guys from the cast of Heartbeat (for those of you who don't know, some awful out-dated English series) turned up at the pub for a drink... I think it was the fat ginger one. Anyway, a bit later on, when one of them went into the toilets, he saw the landlord in there with the guy from Hearbeat, both of them had their pants down, and one was getting a good bumming.

True story.

Fvck is that true!
Quote by Milesthedude
If you're havin' room problems I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems but a room ain't one.

Artist of the Month: Mic Righteous




Birmingham City FC

Carling Cup Winners 2011
#22
I swear there is a bathroom stories thread somewhere.
Quote by uk.mace
This man is smart.

Quote by guitar-guy69
you spelt colors wrong


Tweet me bro.
#23
Once, I was horny and in a bathroom.
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#24
Quote by Ziphoblat
This didn't happen to me, but to a couple of my band mates. They were in Whitby for the weekend (for those who don't know, some small boring English seaside town where Dracula is set). They were in some pub, and speaking to the landlord for a while. Later on, one of the guys from the cast of Heartbeat (for those of you who don't know, some awful out-dated English series) turned up at the pub for a drink... I think it was the fat ginger one. Anyway, a bit later on, when one of them went into the toilets, he saw the landlord in there with the guy from Hearbeat, both of them had their pants down, and one was getting a good bumming.

True story.


Please tell me you aren't lying cos if that was the case I'm about to look very foolish for telling everyone I know this story.
#27
Quote by Punk_Ninja
Please tell me you aren't lying cos if that was the case I'm about to look very foolish for telling everyone I know this story.


No word of a lie.
#28
I try to clean toilet stains with my piss but i'm pretty sure that's standard procedure for most pitmonkeys.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
#30
heartbeat has a great theme song, i find myself singing it when im in the toilet.
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#31
Quote by Basti95
Anyone here ever got Delhi Belly? Not fun.

Delhi belly? Does it have something to do with the city? Because I live there.
#32
^ i think he means, what happens when you eat alot of your Delhi food, in a short space of time.

probably similar to what happens when you eat any asian or spicy food in large amounts.

Epiphone Hummingbird
Epiphone Futura Custom Prophecy (Twin EMG)
Vox Valvetronix VT20+
Vox Wah
Boss MD-2
Danelectro Cool Cat Drive
Boss EQ


#33
My buddy and I used to have a scheme where one of us would go in a public restroom and take a shit and either scream or make wierd phone calls when someone else was in the restroom. The other would wait outside to see the persons reaction when they came out. We were young and thought it was hilarious.
#34
Quote by Silver-spear94
^ i think he means, what happens when you eat alot of your Delhi food, in a short space of time.

probably similar to what happens when you eat any asian or spicy food in large amounts.

A lot of people who come back from India usually have some form of illness that makes you evacuate your bowels explosively and because Delhi rhymes with belly it has become known as Delhi Belly. Lots get similar symptoms when they drink the water over in Egypt as well.
Quote by uk.mace
This man is smart.

Quote by guitar-guy69
you spelt colors wrong


Tweet me bro.
#36
Quote by PeZ546
TS, you wanked over Page 3? That's a new low..


The only people who masturbate over P3 are 13-year old boys who are new to masturbation and too scared to look on the Internet because vaginas are scary.
#37
Quote by Woffelz

Also, I found a copy of the Sun in the bathroom. I couldn't control myself...I exploded all over the page lol



are you alright? did you call an ambulance? lose any limbs?
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#38
I once got a blowjob of some girl in the toilet of a club, someone walked in, I jumped and accidently kneed her in the jaw, causing her to bite down
#39
Quote by Moggan13
The only people who masturbate over P3 are 13-year old boys who are new to masturbation and too scared to look on the Internet because vaginas are scary.


Nah, I think even they'd consider it a bit on the wrong-side.