#1
Just a corny pop song about hope


Verse 1:
Summer
A time of sunshine
when people come out
and do something divine
when the rains are few
and the summer sun is all we see

Summer
A time of happiness and mirth
A time of frolic
So addicting
The scent of sunwashed meadows
Tis a wonderful time to play

Transition:
But not today, not for me
The start of a sad sad summer


Bridge:

Another love lost
Another death
Another disaster
Another sunset to a friendship
Another start of a sad summer
Such a lonely day

Chorus:

But the sun reminds me of hope
To get up and move on
To push the deathly shade away

Another way
To get up and see the light
Another story begins anew

Verse 2

Summer
is here once again
but I'm not glad it's here

Sadness
Pierces the air
Remembering all that I lost
is all that I can do
We cannot turn back time

All we can do is live in the present
and hope for the future

Cherish these times
for they are the best
days of our lives

Bridge:

Another Smile
Another Life
Another Sunrise
Another step to a bright future
Another end to a sad summer

Such a beautiful day

Chorus
And the sun reminds me of hope to get up
and move on to push the deathly shade away

Another way to get up and see the light
Another story begins anew

The sad summer has ended
The rain is here to stay
#2
Hm, I think it is too long for a pop song? Try to, maybe, keep the 2 verses after the 1st bridge, after that put some outro, and that's it for a pop song, since they are usually not more then 4 minutes long.

Also, put some metaphores in it, the lyrics are just too "exact", so it makes it a bit cheesy. I had the same problem, to fix it, listen to Jason Mraz, or some other pop artists that are great songwriters.

The good thing is that the song has a great flow, you can literally put some higher chords in the "happy" verses, while in the chorus or in those following sad ones you can make it more sad by playing the lower chords.

Overall, it's not bad, it maybe just does not fit my taste for lyrics, but hey, I'm just another guy from the internet who's opinion is everything but valuable. (:

Keep it up!
#3
It has some decent contrast, but I agree that it's much too long to really be an effective pop song. The word painting is pretty good, but it wouldn't hurt it to have a few more metaphors than... well.. none.
"Words"
Just As I Am

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#4
Thanks for the reviews I'm more of a metal dude and well I tried my hand at something other than metal )

Thanks guys