#1
Repost of an old piece, changed a few things around:

I gave up hope for lent this year,
as futility seems to be my middle name.
I gave up hope for lent this year,
because I am prideful.
I have 700 square feet to my name
empty.
I sleep in the closet, which fits my body perfectly.
It was built for me.
On a bed of three pillows.
I do this because I am too proud to ask for help.
To sleep a few more nights in a house that is not my own.
When I shut the door after passing little mini-eternities while these pills to take effect
I can't stand the thought of waking up to sunshine.
There is no sunshine here.
In Texas, only 100 degree heat and coastal humidity.
Definitely no sunshine.

I gave up hope for lent this year,
because I am a nervous wreck,.
To my mirror an emotional abomination,
to myself a sickening amalgamation,
of skin, bones, hair and teeth.
Well, maybe not the first.
You see, simple nail biting no longer satisfies my Freudian fetishes.
Nails go away too fast
I now just simply bite the skin around the nail,
until it shreds and rips,
exposing soft scarlet pads,
covering my senstitive, spaghetti-like nerve endings.
The same nerve endings that send signals to my brain.
The same brain that sends signals back.
They say 'stop' but I can't.
I'm entirely too compulsive.
Just watch as I cringe when we shake hands.
You are not stronger than me, I assure you.

I gave up hope for lent this year,
because I can't escape.
I've tried for years, with the feverish dedication of a marathon runner,
who sprains his ankle with a quarter mile to go.
I'm not supposed to be here, 30 miles away from the island on which I was born.
Destiny had me 7050 miles away.
Fate was only off by 1531.
Do they even speak Korean in Australia?

I gave up hope for lent this year,
because despite being provided with statistics and probabilities
that prove that a 'god' 'exists'
my 'logic' can not allow me to believe.
Over one trillion iterations of the universe,
and my net worth at the end of this worldly equation is negative infinity.
That's a lot of zeroes in the wrong direction.

I gave up hope for lent this year,
because hope is all I had.
2006 AND 2007 Ultimate Guitar Best Vocalist

Quote by Magero
Jack - 3:54 AM
I will smoke, and eat and watch Futurama in your honour