#1
"Dear Mistake"

Verse 1
Grow my dear mistake, swiftly grow
Like an untamed beanstalk from the ground below
You complete me, you defeat me, you give me troubles to solve
You flutter in my mind like an eager young dove

Chorus 1
You killed all my time yet I take you in stride
You're a cancer to my essence you devour
All of my pride

Verse 2
Know oh sweet child please do know
The world is all yours sky to ground below
And from up in the heavens where the stars collide
To the cold skyscrapers to your heart's insides

Chorus2
When the skies get dark and your mind starts telling you lies
It'll only last a moment, just wait it out
Its alright

Verse 3
Dear faithful architect make me a home
Make it sweet, safe, warm, and oh so strong
Sketch me a shelter from the raging winds
A tranquil little hollow where time stands still

Chorus 3
When your plans have all crumbled and your eyes spell defeat
You keep goin' pal, keep goin'
This one's on me

Verse 4
Nothing oh nothing bug me no more
You irk me every midnight like a slammed shut door
You're a thorn in my spine that's a million miles wide
You cry on forever like a spoiled little child

Chorus 4
If you don't stop soon, well there's not much I can do
You're with me for the long haul, guess I'll just sleep away
Through the noon

Verse 5
Grow my dear mistake, swiftly grow
Like a lonely echo in an ancient home
You take all my dreams and you make them dissolve
You happened just once, you're eternal like love

Chorus 5
You killed all my time, yet I take you in stride
You're a cancer to my being, you devour
All my pride
Last edited by Lateralus32 at Apr 28, 2011,
#2
I like it, it's not a "just another" song, it's something that has it's own thing going. I personally think it could go somewhere, the only criticism I have is that in some places, the lyrics could flow just a little bit better, but other than that, this song has a lot going for it.

Also, I hate to ask, but can you C4C? My songs have been pretty dead, and I just want some feedback on one of them. If you have the time, can you just do a quick review of one of the songs in my sig?
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.


#3
I like it.
I think everyone can relate to this. I like "You happened just once, you're eternal like love". Not the word choice i would have used, but the message seems to be the same.

"Know oh sweet child please do know
The world is all yours sky to ground below
And from up in the heavens where the stars collide
To the cold skyscrapers to your heart's insides"

im kinda torn to what this means.. when you say "The world is all yours sky to ground below" I think you are getting at the world is kinda yours thing.. But the more i read it, to me is almost say "the world is out of reach". Like the sky is out of reach to the ground below. i really like that.

Good work