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#1
I tried to send my girlfriend a lovely lunchtime message involving the word 'kisses.' But I want to smother you in KIPPER doesn't have the same effect.

Now lets hear your stories.
'Slap bass refers to the slap delivered to the bassist when they play too loud or with any kind of attention drawing behaviour...'

'The dusty end, is not my friend.'
#3
I meant to send 'I love you' to my mum, but ended up sending 'you are a fat piece of poo with a willy on your face'

Stupid predictive text.
#4
I started checking my messages carefully after I accidentally sent "Yeah motherfucker" to my stepmom in response to her asking if I was coming over for Easter dinner.
#5
Quote by guitar12
I meant to send 'I love you' to my mum, but ended up sending 'you are a fat piece of poo with a willy on your face'

Stupid predictive text.

I think that's just the phone having a freudian slip
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#6
My friend was talking about swimming to some girl.

What he meant to say:

Wow, I'd really like to time you now.


What he actually said:

Wow, I'd really like to fist you now.

yeh...
You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
#7
I meant to send, "why didn't you cry during childbirth?"

But I sent, "why didn't you die during childbirth?"

My mom pretended to be all offended lololo
Last edited by Miniskirt at Apr 30, 2011,
#8
Quote by guitar12
I meant to send 'I love you' to my mum, but ended up sending 'you are a fat piece of poo with a willy on your face'

Stupid predictive text.

Congratulations you're the winner of this thread.
L O L
S T A
C K .
'Slap bass refers to the slap delivered to the bassist when they play too loud or with any kind of attention drawing behaviour...'

'The dusty end, is not my friend.'
#9
My predictive text doesn't work like all of yours, mine predicts a word with from the keys I press, the other in this thread don't make sense. Like the time and fist one, not the same keys. Maybe my phone's got a different form of predictive text.
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#10
Quote by padgea7x
My predictive text doesn't work like all of yours, mine predicts a word with from the keys I press, the other in this thread don't make sense. Like the time and fist one, not the same keys. Maybe my phone's got a different form of predictive text.

I believe what he was doing was making a funny. But what you've done is made a serious...
'Slap bass refers to the slap delivered to the bassist when they play too loud or with any kind of attention drawing behaviour...'

'The dusty end, is not my friend.'
#11
I have a straight-edge friend called Esther. I once texted her with, "Hey, Esther. Wanna meet up?" It came out as, "Hey, drugs? Wanna meet up?"
Quote by Andron17
Go away, I have an erection.


Bassist for Half My Kingdom.
#12
Quote by Rich EpiWildkat
I believe what he was doing was making a funny. But what you've done is made a serious...

I know, that's why I can't find these things funny because I know how predictive text works!
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#13
Quote by padgea7x
I know, that's why I can't find these things funny because I know how predictive text works!

Oh you DO know how it works? This is a thread for people who DON'T know how it works. I don't know if anyone will actually have any decent examples.
'Slap bass refers to the slap delivered to the bassist when they play too loud or with any kind of attention drawing behaviour...'

'The dusty end, is not my friend.'
#14
Quote by Rich EpiWildkat
Oh you DO know how it works? This is a thread for people who DON'T know how it works. I don't know if anyone will actually have any decent examples.

Well then I'm leaving!
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#15
i meant to text do u want to go dublin to my female friend. it came out as do u want to go fuck]ng.awkwaaaard
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#16
I typed "Rammstein" and got "Scooptein".
UG FORUM
Your 21st Century Ant Farm
Corroborating Sturgeon's Law Since 2003
#18
Quote by padgea7x
I know, that's why I can't find these things funny because I know how predictive text works!


Nah, mine was true. iPhones have this thing where they learn what you type and it makes it to where you can type in just a bunch of letters and "guesses" what word you meant.
You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
#21
Quote by padgea7x
My predictive text doesn't work like all of yours, mine predicts a word with from the keys I press, the other in this thread don't make sense. Like the time and fist one, not the same keys. Maybe my phone's got a different form of predictive text.

But it does work like that, at least if you have a phone with just numbers. You know, the old type of texting where you click the order of the numbers, and it guesses at which word you wanted type without having to click the number several times to reach the specific letter.

For me it was like 90% accurate, but me and my friend had some funnies slip up now and then, nothing notable though.
#23
Quote by padgea7x
My predictive text doesn't work like all of yours, mine predicts a word with from the keys I press, the other in this thread don't make sense. Like the time and fist one, not the same keys. Maybe my phone's got a different form of predictive text.

Are you using a touch screen phone?

Touch screen phones have predictive text which tries to predict what you're trying to say based on (what I think) patterns of what you're typing.

For example, if you wanted to type 'you', but typed 'tiu' instead, it'll correct it to 'you'. This explains the time and fist thing. It's not exactly close, but I think they developed predictions to try and predict the occasional idiot who tries to type as fast as possible like they're on a physical keyboard.
#24
I believe the classic one is as follows:

Question: Where are you?

"Fucking queue. "

~Transmogrification~

"Fucking Steve. "


I use Swype, like a boss.
#25
I read my messages before I send them. However, I have a semi-related story. A few days ago, my phone's dictionary shat itself. I have no idea what's wrong with it, but words that I always use and have never been a problem are suddenly autocorrecting to weird shit that make no sense. I'm changes to impeachment, can't changes to canto, lol changes to lolo, babe changes babae, won't changes to woot, etc. I have no idea why it's doing this.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#26
Quote by -xCaMRocKx-
I read my messages before I send them. However, I have a semi-related story. A few days ago, my phone's dictionary shat itself. I have no idea what's wrong with it, but words that I always use and have never been a problem are suddenly autocorrecting to weird shit that make no sense. I'm changes to impeachment, can't changes to canto, lol changes to lolo, babe changes babae, won't changes to woot, etc. I have no idea why it's doing this.

Check your language settings. They look like European words to me. done it on purpose once. It was literally MINUTES of fun...
'Slap bass refers to the slap delivered to the bassist when they play too loud or with any kind of attention drawing behaviour...'

'The dusty end, is not my friend.'
#27
Quote by Rich EpiWildkat
Check your language settings. They look like European words to me. done it on purpose once. It was literally MINUTES of fun...

I already tried that, but I read your post and thought, "what the hell, might as well look again." The phone language was English, but there was another setting for writing language that I didn't see the first time I looked. Turns out it was SOMEHOW set to write in Pilipino. God knows how that happened. Thanks for making me check again mate.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#28
So, since we're on this topic, anyone got any tips for near-100% accuracy on typing with a touch screen phone?

I switched from a physical keyboard to touch screen a month ago, and I swear to God, typing smses have never been so hard before. I can type at about 3/4 of my speed last time, but I spend a lot of time proof-reading my smses because God knows what's irritating my vag.

>.>
Quote by -xCaMRocKx-
Turns out it was SOMEHOW set to write in Pilipino. God knows how that happened.

Filipinos are taking over the world one phone at a time. The revolution has started.
Last edited by triface at May 1, 2011,
#29
Quote by triface
So, since we're on this topic, anyone got any tips for near-100% accuracy on typing with a touch screen phone?

I switched from a physical keyboard to touch screen a month ago, and I swear to God, typing smses have never been so hard before. I can type at about 3/4 of my speed last time, but I spend a lot of time proof-reading my smses because God knows what's irritating my vag.


Touchscreens are hard

I've had an iPhone for about a year, and I'm still not as fast on it as I used to be on physical keyboards.

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#30
Quote by -xCaMRocKx-
I read my messages before I send them. However, I have a semi-related story. A few days ago, my phone's dictionary shat itself. I have no idea what's wrong with it, but words that I always use and have never been a problem are suddenly autocorrecting to weird shit that make no sense. I'm changes to impeachment, can't changes to canto, lol changes to lolo, babe changes babae, won't changes to woot, etc. I have no idea why it's doing this.



hahaha, i always liked when autocorrect always changed F*** to Duck
my job rules. ROCKWORLDEAST

Quote by GisleAune
She is new to the internet, it seems, because there's nothing between extreme love and furious hate here, sadly.
#31
I hate it when my phone auto corrects "hell" to "he'll"

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#32
I have a qwerty keypad
No troubles for me.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#33
I dont use predictive text because I hate it and its so annoying to use. Im just as fast without it so the only blunders I make are of my own fault...
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#35
My phone has a sort of autocomplete thing, where if you type in the first few letters, it will fill in the rest of a longer word. Sometimes when I type in "but", it will try to finish it to "buttplugger"..
#37
Happens to me alot

I meant to txt my girlfriend saying

I got you this awesome bracelet for your birthday!


But I ended up saying

I had sex with your dad
#38
On my old phone "hah" auto corrected to "ichthyologist"
Quote by Waffleexplosion
Only in a vodka ad could Mexico win a war.
#39
I don't own a phone.


But if I did, I would just turn autocorrect off. The last thing I would want would be to tell my sister I wanted to comb her pubes or something.
#40
I just thought of another semi-related story. At uni one day I was sitting around with a couple of mates and one of them mentioned that everytime they write "ub," the first word that gets suggested by autocorrect is "ubersexual." We had a bit of a laugh, but then we all tried it on our phones (we all have completely different phones), and it happened to all of us too! Apparently ubersexual is a word we should all be using a lot more often.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
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