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#1
post your favorites.

if i were a caveman, i'd club you over the head and drag you back to my cave.
#4
If I weren't this socially awkward, I wouldn't have used pick up lines in the first place.
Yes my username is my real name. I did that because I've got BALLS

Quote by CG Man16
But we all know gay people want to rape every straight male they see.... Especially children, all gay people are pedophiles. Fact.

#5
did you get those pants in a sale? because if you came to my place they would be 100% off
Without music, life would be a mistake.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote by noob888
I love you for that thread...


Quote by MightyAl
I am now mentally scarred by the image of Peter Crouch getting penalised.
#7
ever been raped? no? well have i got a surprise for you...
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#10
do you work at subway?

cause i was going to ask you out but i thought it wuld be awkward if i took you to the same place you work

edit
if i told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me
#11
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Cos your face is fucked up. Oh well, I suppose you'll do.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#12
I'm no weatherman, but i'm forecasting more than a few inches tonight... ;D


*cringe*
Periphery, love that shit!
#13
Quote by Jon777
"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"
Win.
#15
My mate honestly (but drunkenly) used the chat up line "Taste me".

Needless to say it failed miserably, and he still gets mocked for it over 2 years later.
MANCHESTER UNITED
#16
Quote by Poglia
Win.


it's also been going around the internet for about two years. i speak on behalf of sickapedia when i say old.

also, my favorite is 'wanna make out?'
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#17
The word of the day today is 'legs'. Let's go to my place and spread the word.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#18
If it's true when they say 'you are what you eat', let's see if I can be you by morning
WARUM TUT ES WEH, WENN ICH PINKLE?!
Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."


Quote by Axelfox
Disregard that,i suck cocks.
#19
Quote by AvengedESP
I'm no weatherman, but i'm forecasting more than a few inches tonight... ;D


*cringe*

I love this.
#20
~We Rock Out With Our Cocks Out!: UG Naked Club.~
Once in a blue moon, God reaches down from his lofty perch, points at an infant boy and proclaims, "This one shall have balls carved out of fucking granite."
#21
guy: you wanna get a pizza and fuck?
girl:no...
guy:what, you don't like pizza?
MM Stingray
MIA P Bass
MIM Jazz Bass
GK 700RB-II Head
GK 410SBX Cab
Sansamp 3 Ch. DI
Crybaby Bass Wah
Bass Big Muff
DD3 Delay

MIA Strat
Nashville Tele
Martin 00015M
Hot Rod Deluxe
Big Muff
DS1
Hendrix Crybaby Wah
#22
You must've fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.
Nice legs, what time do they open?
I must be a feminist because I'd like to be on an equal plane with you.
I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
I wish I was your tangent so I could lie parallel to your curves.
#23
"Do you know the satisfaction of putting something tasty in your mouth? Oh, you do? Well, are you hungry?"

...terrible
#25
Oh hey, aren't you fassa albrecht? I loved your work on the UG forums.


Not many people in the real world would understand it.
#26
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DON'T YOU MAKE A FUCKING NOISE!"
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#27
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
The word of the day today is 'legs'. Let's go to my place and spread the word.


This is the best one!
I seriously couldn't stop laughing at it.
I'm Full Of Artificial Sweetener
#30
Quote by kaptkegan
You must've fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.
Nice legs, what time do they open?
I must be a feminist because I'd like to be on an equal plane with you.
I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
I wish I was your tangent so I could lie parallel to your curves.

I love this one.

If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.

Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.

Be unique and different, say yes.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#31
Quote by BladeSlinger
I love this one.

If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.

Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.

Be unique and different, say yes.



Quote by Fucking loads of people who were appeasing me in order for me to write
blues_to_thrash, you are the master of epic lulz



My Music


2K11
#32
I thought it was funny even though I don't know any women who are bad drivers.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#33
"Have you met Joe? (my name)
Would you like to meet Joe?
Would You like to MEET Joe?"

I've actually had sucess with this..
I wasn't even that drunk, I was just oozin confidence like a boss that night.
THIS IS A LARGE DISTRACTING SIGNATURE.
#34
Quote by BladeSlinger
I thought it was funny even though I don't know any women who are bad drivers.

Wait... They can drive? Since when do they put vehicles in the kitchen??

/obligatory


I'll give you five seconds to give me your number, or your entire family will be dead by the end of the week.
#35
Do you work at UPS?

Because I could have sworn you were checking out my package
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
#36
Girl, your feet have got to be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!
Quote by axethrower13
But you only die once, so you may as well experience it to the fullest.

Quote by ozzyismetal
Get her a goat. Bitches love goats.

Quote by Weaponxclaws
Plus, naturally I scream satanic rituals while unleashing the demon. It's a marvelous resurrection.
#37
Wanna sit on my lap and talk about anything that pops up?
Quote by guitarxo
I had a dream about your avatar once, so yes of course.

Quote by Bladez22


every time i see that twirling electrode avatar of yours I know that the post is worth reading or the link is worth clicking


#38
Quote by MangoStarr
Do you work at UPS?

Because I could have sworn you were checking out my package

Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#39
do you **** on first dates?

listen up bitch. Im hot, youre hot, lets go back to your place and have some double hot sex.
"I can see that we speak the wrong notes."

Warlock NJ Deluxe (haters gonna hate)
Crate EL-10G
#40
Here's one I used that actually worked while very drunk.

Passing a girl in a corridor thing in a club I put on a strong irish accent and said
"sorry to stop you but I just want you to know you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen"
She lapped that up the filthy *****

she wasn't actually a filthy *****, in fact she was quite a nice girl
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