#1
Hey guys! i'm new to the UG forum ... i wanted to find somewhere to upload my first original track and get some feedback from my fellow guitarists! any feedback is much appreciated!

I'm using an Epiphone Prophecy Les Paul, connected through a Line6 Pod, to Cakewalk SONAR. I created the drum and bass tracks in SONAR, and my girl wrote lyrics and did vocals. Hope you enjoy, and if not, let me know why!

http://soundcloud.com/ghostsoul-1/ghostsoul-bury-me-under

\m/
#2
impressive first effort. the guitar could have used a little more variation in tones but sounded good, bass and drums weren't bad especially for the way you did it. good vocals but a little more work would make then even better. keep up the good work.

my latest is The Land Unknown which has a thread on this page (sorry don't have the link handy.
#3
thanks man! the funny thing is, i did have a variation in guitar tone, but then was told it'd be better to stick with one tone, and alter it for the solo. but now i realize everyone has different ears lol. I'll check yours out right now!
#4
Quote by abdulsadiq
thanks man! the funny thing is, i did have a variation in guitar tone, but then was told it'd be better to stick with one tone, and alter it for the solo. but now i realize everyone has different ears lol. I'll check yours out right now!


variety is the spice of life. your song so if you want different tones then don't let somone tell you it's wrong. many guitar players change sounds throughout a song. live that may not be as easy so that's a different story but with technology these days it isn't that hard. thanx for the kind words on my tune
#5
i completely get where you're coming from. i mostly agree too! i'll keep that thought in mind for my next song!
#6
sounds pretty good,

although the timing was a little off at some places like 1.39 and the singing was a litte out of tune.

But other than that it,s cool !

Cheers,

PS: i did not intend to end my solo on the root note. It's to keep the tension up (open ending) Not many, but some songs have an open ending like that ;-)
#7
I really liked it. However, i noticed some minor pitch problems with vocals (i guess during the chorus session), but since its the first recording, its all good.
#8
thanks a lot guys! it's just really cool to realize i'm at the point where i can atleast start to make songs you know? all the vocals advices i'm getting are being practised and played around with ... so i guess this'll always be a work in progress haha!

and i actually did notice the off timing .... i fixed it later, but now soundcloud wants me to be a "premium member" to actually update it rather than uploading a new one altogheter hahaha .... damn....
#9
abdul,
Thanks for the reviews! "Bury Me Under": Guitar riffs are good! I like female vocals, but the vocals are a bit pitchy & could use more grit for a guitar-oriented rock song......though her mellow voice is working better for this quieter part of the song. Perhaps some pitch correction could help the vocals (I occasionally use it myself, but it surely isn't a cure all). The song writing is good, and most all of the guitar playing is good.

"Crazy Train": I haven't heard this song without the original guitar before. Most of the guitar playing is good, though some parts could use work (not like I could play it any better).
#11
good job,bro
overall it sound very nice
but
sometimes the vocals go off,in terms of both timing and pitch, the vocals are cute anyway..
and the connection between the metal part with the acoustic part can be improved imo.

hey,do check out my stuff on my profile and crit!
#12
hey thanks a lot man! now that's a review if i've heard one lol

yeah that trill at the beginning was somewhat out of Randy Rhoades' book for sure! about the solo's tone ... i was really torn between a few different tones, but i'll play around with it some more ... maybe something better can come out of it! and yes, the strings were a very last second addition, cuz i didn't really want anthing "unrealistic" in the song ... but they add a depth for sure.

thanks again!
#13
I really like the guitar for it. The vocals weren't bad, but the lacked some "umf" behind them. They need to be a bit more forceful, because the contrast between vocals and guitar were odd. Otherwise, I liked it.

On the bridge, where it breaks into clean guitar, I feel like the transition was wierd. It was very abrupt.
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
#14
hey thanks for the crit! just for reference sake, what's "uml"? and also, the abruptness of the transition is kind of what i was aiming for ... but since you're the first to tell me it's awkward ... i'm considering what else to do with it haha
#15
"UMF" is, for lack of better words, is force. Also, about the abrupt change. I think all it needs is for the drums to not completely stop before it starts. Something just needs to overlap, just because my general rule is that if I can find a clean place to cut the song, a place where you could just claim a different song, then you're got an issue. Long story short: just needs something to bridge the silence.
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
#17
Coulda dropped the gain a tad on the lead and you could spend a bit of time tightening up your actual rhythm's but overall good work, dude!
Singer needs a bit more grit, she's a little off pitch consistently, maybe she needs a bit more confidence?

Few mix ideas crits;
Double tracking your rhythm guitar would add a lot to a few spots especially the solo after that quiet break to thicken up the mix. Also try some more reverb on some of your tracks especially the vocals to thicken them up.
#18
i'm lovin it bud! that's a lot of stuff i can look at and think over! thanks a lot for listening! i'll be coming up with more songs soon, and i'll be looking forward to you seeing a lot of improvements! thanks again!
#19
Pretty cool man! Good riffs and some cool lead work. A few bits are off and I'm not in love with the vocals but decent composition and it's a full song which is impressive.

Crit my stuff?
#21
Awesome feel. Guitar tones are excellent. The vocals aren't really strong as they would suit the track a whole lot better if they were, but that's just me. The leads are great, but putting it smack-dab right in the middle of the mix just leaves the rest of the track feeling empty. I'd say double track the guitar and pan it both 70% left/right for a more fuller feel. Great guitar playing. I like the lyrics. The vocals grow on you after a bit. The change around 3:05 in very unexpected and threw me completely off, but it went in a fantastic direction. Very smooth and easy going feel. Love the solo's tone. Reverb suits it well. Really need to double track that guitar, bro.

Overall, awesome song.
I really liked it.

Thank you for the critique!
#22
thank you for the critique! all of UG has given me a lot of advice and help for my next song, which I'm just finishing up right now. It'll be an all-guitar instrumental and i'll have it uploaded sometime this week i'm sure. stay tuned!
#24
Great job for your first time. I really like the rhythms. The lead work is also really good. As other posters have mentioned, the vocals were a bit off at points, but I'm sure you can have that adjusted fairly easily.

Good work!