#1
I've been in this band since January, and things are starting to get pretty sour. We've got six songs partially finished, with five needing lyrics. We've been at a standstill for at least two months.

It seems like no one else has any ambition to do anything. Outside of practice they'll talk like they're committed, but they either can't be reached at the agreed time of practice or they're significantly late. It just seems like no one else has any drive to accomplish anything. If I don't send out texts and make calls to the others before the agreed time we've set up to practice, it doesn't happen.

To make matters worse, the other guitarist has an attitude problem almost every other practice. It got to the point where we had everyone agree to eat before practice because that was one of the things he'd constantly complain about; being hungry. After his attitude today, I honestly feel like I need to quit or we're going to end up hating each other.

Do I jump ship, or do I try to work it out?

I can't remember the last time I was happy after practice, and that really bothers me. We all agreed we have a problem, and the next time we get together it'll be a band meeting.Should I get out before it's too late, or should I try to save everything? My big concern is that the other guitarist is going to take it too personally. He constantly talks about how is last band "betrayed" him by firing him. They told him it was because they wanted a new direction, but I have my suspicions that it was due to his attitude. We were really good friends before this, and I see this just killing us.

TLDR:
I'm not happy with the band anymore, and I predict that it'll turn into my buddy and I hating each other. I feel like it's a lose/lose situation by quitting or staying because my buddy will take it personally. What should I do?
#2
If the band isn't going anywhere or you're worried about all hating each other then just stop, tell the guys that you think the band should have a good break and then maybe you all come back together later when you feel refreshed and regained that spark.
#3
Well there were some obvious flaws at the start, primarily that a set practice night and times weren't set immediately.

I'd leave at this point, not much is happening, or continue to happen. The band has lost momentum and it's only a matter of time until somebody quits.
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#4
Since you seem to be the glue keeping the band together right now, just make them realize that there is no point in continuing since no one is having fun anymore and you guys can go separate ways or rejoin, but that's very unlikely.


#7
I think you need to make more of an effort to get everyone really into this. I've been in plenty of so called "bands" where we say we'll practice, we might a few times, then everything really just slows down. And eventually it's just a split with out being a split because there really is no real band. Try to set yourselves some real goals and work to reach those, then at that point if you really have issues with one or two people, kick them and replace them.

You also might be in a situation where you may want to take some time and look into becoming a cover band for a while. That way you'll have something new to work on every practice and you can start getting gigs rather quickly and in my experience people start to enjoy themselves more once they know that the work they are putting into something is going to pay off. Most people want instant results which isn't always realistic doing originals, but doing covers for a bit might give everyone a little push in the right direction. You've basically been playing together for about 5 months (almost half a year) and have no results, which is enough to make anybody frustrated and have an attitude.

Just playing devils advocate, but none the less something to think about
Last edited by scguitarking927 at May 3, 2011,
#8
Have you tried setting goals?

My band is going well because myself and the other guitarist are really dedicated and when we decide to "take a next step", we call every member up and ask if they are ready to be100% dedicated and invest the time, money and effort. It works because we "force" the band to move forward.

Latest example: Yesterday the other guitarist and I decided that due to the long summer break, where we won't be able to play together, we will need something concrete to show for our work if we wanna survive as a band. We decided to record a 5 song EP in a studio and this morning I rang everyone up to ask if they are 100% ready to commit themselves entirely to the band o make it work. They all said yes.

Cut a long story short, if you set goals and show the members of your band that you are actually going somewhere instead of constantly being stuck in the 'garage phase', they'll be more dedicated.

I suggest you take the upper hand at the next band meeting, maybe form an "allegiance" with your most dedicated band member and tell them that it's either time to move forward (and give 100%) or to stop completely. Specify that there shall be no more skipping, lateness, eating beforehand, wasting time, goofing around. Say that if they aren't ready to be dedicated, they should leave (or you will leave and take anyone who's up for it with you).
#9
Refer to what is often called 'Rule Number 1'... "If it ain't fun, there's no point in doing it unless you get paid a hell of a lot of money for it."

That said, it's still early days for your band, you can always voice your concerns and hope that things will change, after all, non of us would get anywhere if we didn't at least try, but if things don't improve within the first 6 months of a musical project, then they probably never will and it would really be time to start considering other projects.
#10
be frank with them. tell them straight up "Fix your attitude or you're out"
or you could give him a new amp....
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#12
I swear to god, you're in the exact same situation as me. Even the small details are the same, such as the 2 month stand-still, the number of songs and the food thing. (God damn it, are you my bass player?)

I've decided to stick with the band, if that helps at all