#1
I want to see if this song is any good. I'm not really happy yet with the verse after the first chorus. I also have nothing for a bridge, except some "na na na na" type singing.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/rich2k4/
http://richmusic.dmusic.com

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
#3
It's a real nice and smooth flowing song. Very calming but it lacks any distinctive or outstanding qualities... I actually do like the na na's... it gives the piece an awkward feel for a quick moment and it really caught my attention... a solid track overall....
#4
It has a really nice jazzy/bluesy sound to it which I like. Whilst I do appreciate the fact that it is meant to be a quiet, calm piece, I do feel that your vocals were a bit weak in places. They were being drowned out by the guitar.

I do think, though, that if you tidy it up, maybe fill in the na na's with something else if you want to, then it could be a really nice piece (well, nicer than it already is )

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1438160
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#6
Commenting as I go:

Can already hear its not the best quality, so I'll avoid mixing comments. Its pretty cool, its jazzy. That chordal hammer-on is reminiscent of a Weezer song, I don't know which, but you re-contextualized it, which is damn cool. Chorus is a mood-change, I like that. Your voice is quality, but I wish it was a bit more sure of what it was doing. There are times where you like, half-falsetto, and it sounds like indecision. I like the scat na na na's for the bridge, it ties the song better than actual lyrics for me.

That was really cool, I wish it was recorded... Muddier, actually, with a bit of mic distortion. Now THAT would be damn cool. Either that, or with a full arrangement.

C4C? This song is... Different:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=27102756#post27102756
#7
i've alrrady changed some of the lyrics. i plan on doing this with drums, and bass
http://richmusic.dmusic.com

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
#8
hmm
a nice mellow sound,very laid back i would say..and i think the na na part is good and goes well with the song..
if u add bass to this,it would sound awesome for sure..

hey,do check out my profile and crit on my stuff if u care..