The river has passed under the bridge,
like a firm embargo
that wallops the shores (and no further.)
I will live on to attain it,
that is my resolution -
a ceiling:
no more crocodile tears
for things I have given the cold-shoulder to
(but I love her all the same.)
This is the end -
the unguarded march
to my original mind,
like a spoilt paradigm shift;
the age of the sourpuss -
with my teeth set on edge.
Goodbye Nana, goodbye father,
goodbye late brother:
where do you think
you’re coming from?
Mum has been worried sick,
her face has turned raw -
but no cauldron
can burn you.
I am covered in sweat;
this is all too much for me to bear -
from a snake to a dragon
is my revelation:
a level-headed avalanche
that has indulged in the leap of fate.
I don't know.
Last edited by Bleed Away at Dec 28, 2011,
This is the end -
my unguarded hour
back to my original mind,
like a spoilt paradigm shift;
the age of the sourpuss,

everything but this was great in both content and flow. this lacked for me because of the lack of imagery. give me a physical anchor here and ill go home happy.
I'm not a fan of adding other languages into poems, especially when it seems kind of arbitrary. Also, ending anything on a question because it shows a lack of decisiveness as a writer...but that's just personal preference.

This is one of those times your eloquence is presented in such a way that seems very natural and not overwrought. Nicely done.
art tumblr

If I'm not raw, I'm just a bit underdone.
I agree with Svetlova on this one, your writing here really flows and feels candid with the exception of the "que" line. Excellent piece overall.


"Art is always and everywhere the secret confession, and at the same time the immortal movement of its time."