Welcome to the third instalment of



In a private group somewhere among the mysterious UG system, a small number of fearless individuals hand pick three pieces from the last two to three weeks and post them in one collective thread – this one! These works contain characteristics that demonstrate each writers potential, with a great sense of form, technique, imagery, and emotion all well-worthy of commendation – and they are all written by 'newbies' (someone with less than eight threads posted in the last year).

Now, this is not simply another award ceremony to praise writers beyond necessity. This is UG's way of encouraging new writers to continue writing and posting both here and elsewhere. We believe that new writers deserve credit and appreciation, because without it most of us would be lost in a world of self-pity and have little confidence.

We all need people to recognize our work as musicians – our progress sometimes depends on it. Writing lyrics, poetry, prose, stories, is no different. If you don't agree with that then you've forgotten what it was like to be new to writing, new to forums, or new to this form of expression.


Here are the three pieces selected from the last month that were considered to be worthy of mention above all else. Accompanying them are a number of brief reasons as to why, exactly, they were chosen:

-Our top piece this week is from Normul, a user who has been a member of UG for a long time, but has not posted very much in Songwriting & Lyrics. Remember, though, that just because we count him in our Newbies column does not mean he has had no experience with writing outside of this forum. This is just a fun article that we hope will encourage people to keep writing, to post more, and to branch out from their normal reading patterns.

Regarding the piece itself, Aaron (Ganoosh) says of it, “I've rarely seen a truly good job of capturing a funeral” – and I agree with him. merriman44, then, talks about how enthralling and true to life the imagery is. And I believe the sad and beautiful rhyming scheme really adds to that. It's important to understand that in order to express emotion we often need to have a strong and discerning grasp over language and technique – this is a prime example of that.

The term “praying”, in the context that it was in, was a canny way of throwing a sense of a satire and anger into the mix, from the perspective of the writer witnessing all this hypocritical and almost disrespectful behaviour in front of a dead loved one.

The following verse, then, reminds us of how sorrowful the occasion can be, and always will be. That it is very personal to someone, and that person will have to live with it forever. Although I personally believe that developing new and positive memories at a funeral can be integral if you really want to overcome the pain, sometimes, in such a sad moment, logic is not present and will not be enough to calm your mind and your heart.

The conclusion is as simple and touching as you need it to be. And it as deserving, too.

In a Mourn

In a Mourn by Normul

A little masquerade of suits and dresses trade hellos.
A little serenade of all the souls exchanging woes.
Recite the cliched sayings, and customary praying of old.
"He's in a better place" and "such a lovely vase" sounds so cold.

But these open arms won't calm.
And this place doesn't feel like home.

The pretty little lonely widow,
Stands beneath the stain-glass in a daze.
Over-caffienated strangers,
Pay respects and go about their day.
Today, in a mourn.


-Our second piece this week is from spitonastranger (awesome name). Aaron and I had both agreed that Marble Countertops, a piece from brandom369852, was also very much worthy of mention as it had such an awesome style to it that could not be ignored. It was obviously not to everyone's taste but we personally both loved it. However, since the user has posted a lot in S&L throughout his years – although not posting much in the last year – isn't really a newbie any more.

With that said, lets move on to our joint second choice, Kelly and I, a romance poem of sort. When I say “of sort”, I mean it has a very strange fairytale feeling to it, as if the writer was high when writing it – or wished he was high writing it. But then you reach the end and you feel like smiling.

That's really all I can say about it. This piece made me smile. The writer has an imagination and a style – and I like that style.

Kelly & I by spitonastranger

i'm made of glass and full of water
when light shines through me
it often draws a crowd

i slept in a desert
the sun dried me up
but unless you're close enough
you'd still think i was full

i wish that i would shatter
on the path outside her house
that she'd sweep up the pieces
and wonder who i was
i wish that what's left of me
would drip onto her lawn

and i'd be useful.

between kelly and i there's nothing
between me and kelly there's the world


-Our final piece this week is from metalfan#3, someone who almost won WotW. The reason why we liked his poem so much was for the same reasons we liked the others: they all have their own singular and unusual style and flavour. This one, in particular, utilizes humorous and almost tangential alliteration and haphazard rhyming, particularly for the first few lines and thoughts.

It then progresses into a very upbeat and poignant piece that could be centred around the idea that we should all refrain from judging something before we understand it fully. And even then judging it is as confusingly philosophical as the common questions, “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, what sound does it make?” and, “what comes first, the chicken or the egg?” For me it was quite confusing, but never pretentious or belittling. It could also be talking about being true to yourself and not listening to what other people tell to be the case, but I can't tell for sure.

I really don't mind by this stage. I thoroughly enjoy reading it over and over, finding new delights such as “Your timeless discourse on zealous mimes, spontaneous plane tickets, draft Guinness in Edinburgh and Jerry Garcia beards”, “A mess of the best dressed jest at my expense.” and “Your chakra might be swimming with boots of lead / but that can always be changed.” It really is a very entertaining and 'swimming' read.

How I Learned the Metric System

How I Learned the Metric System by metalfan#3

Only the darkest of midnights satisfies these urges.
I deftly brave the pits of concrete boiler rooms in you.
A mess of the best dressed jest at my expense.
Darkness, dreary and depressing, deftly dictating delirious lesson plans.
If I imbibe that I'll get a slap on the hands.
Mission failed, and now my soul is wheezing.
Your face is pale and hands are pleading;
'won't someone stop it?'
Please, comfort me with your anecdotes.
Your endless tales of endless nights and zero morning.
Your timeless discourse on zealous mimes, spontaneous plane tickets, draft Guinness in Edinburgh and Jerry Garcia beards.
My guitar strings need a-tunin'.
My money brings me more happiness than you could ever know.
So stop listening to what he said was good,
and listen to your own voice of reason.
Listen to the thousand screaming angelic voices in your head, because nothing could be more right.
Soak in the effusive happiness of your warmness on the soul, and then fill out your comment card.
Because nothing is as it seems, until you try it.
Listen to it.
That sneaking doubt in the back of your head,
Jiminy Cricket come back from the dead.
Your chakra might be swimming with boots of lead,
but that can always be changed.
Listen to the knife pressed hard on your throat;
just don't really think that it's really there.
Because a knife is a knife is a knife is a knife,
unless it's not really there.
Wow, I`m honoured .

Also I really, really enjoyed the other two pieces. The flow and rhyme scheme in `In a Mourn`is impeccable. This newbies thing is a great idea .

I hope I can offer up some ideas to other writers here, this piece was just thrown up to show another friend on UG that wanted to read.

All writers have a great day
Wow thanks guys I'm honoured

The other pieces were fantastic, and such contrasting styles too. I'd love to contribute more regularly around here.

and for the record i was definitely not high when i wrote that piece
Though wishing i was is probably about right.

Thanks again guys.