#1
She made sure to time her steps to my blinking
so that I'd never see her coming
she sat down next to me
and played with my hair until I couldn't remember
whether she is the loving whisper in my ear
or just another echo off the walls of my own little world

I'm singing a happy little song in my head
but I'm having trouble finding the beat
because it doesn't match the throbbing in my bruises
all on my forearms,
a good sign
Last edited by greyeyedfire at May 4, 2011,
#2
Very pleasantly surprised by this.

I thought the first two lines were a pretty unique set up, so kudos to that. Then the second two lines are something really familiar, so I was hooked and the last two lines of the first stanza brought it home perfectly. Very good imagery and delivery.

The second stanza starts off a little more simple, but you tie it all together well. Even though I'm not sure how that's a good sign lol.

Great piece.