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#1
I plan on a trip to somewhere in the UK in the near future, and I'd love to see a "Chav" in it's natural habitat. How might I lure one out, and also, how might I positively identify one? I am not too familiar with this apparently sub-human species, so fill me in!
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#2
Stay out late at night and hang around nearing some flats. Move towards any 'banging tunes' you hear.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#3
Chav is just a term middle-class people use for anyone who's poor and wears sports clothing. Middle-class people are also highly afraid of the poor and like to mock their poor taste in tracksuits.

Edit: this post isn't entirely serious, by the way.
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Last edited by I.O.T.M at May 4, 2011,
#4
Find the area with the pebbledash houses or go to the nearest high rise flats.

I wouldn't recommend doing this in a big city though as they tend to get more violent. Chavs in my small town are a joke.
#5
Stay out in the city centre fairly late at night. Have long hair, and just generally look like a metal head or a hippie. They also tend to congregate around bus/train stations. They'll usually tend to be dressed in a football/soccer top, and won't be able to speak proper. Most of them also like to think of themselves as 'gangsters'.
#6
Anyone who wears baggy clothes and talk gibberish that make you go "Uhhh... wat?" and then they punch you and talk more gibberish.
#7
Burberry caps, fake gold necklaces and a penchant for loud swearing at your girlfriend are all common ways to identify a chav.
#8
Out of curiosity, are they as prominent as they used to be? A few years ago, I remember there being no less than 4 chav-related threads a day, but now I hardly ever hear about them.
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#9
They're not that bad mostly.
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#12
So I need to basically bring a girl with me, and head into the middle class neighborhoods?
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#14
Quote by Skynyrd890
So I need to basically bring a girl with me, and head into the middle class neighborhoods?

No, head into the poor neighbourhoods.
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#15
You can find them everywhere, like Pidgey. And they pose no harm, like Pidgey. And they are pretty funny if you tease them, like Pidgey. And you can throw balls at them and use them for fighting, like Pidgey.
#16
Quote by I.O.T.M
No, head into the poor neighbourhoods.

God I have so much to learn about chav hunting.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#17
Quote by I.O.T.M
No, head into the poor neighbourhoods.

This, but you have to look like a normal person or else the lure won't work.

Also, if you want to befriend them, buy some white lightning from the local Lidl.
#18
Quote by Skynyrd890
I plan on a trip to somewhere in the UK in the near future, and I'd love to see a "Chav" in it's natural habitat. How might I lure one out, and also, how might I positively identify one? I am not too familiar with this apparently sub-human species, so fill me in!

Tenoit we'a hea in the sunny You Kay, 'nOI've been 'ot on the trail of the eloosive Chav. Le's get closa.


[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#19
rule of thumb is 20+ people in identical tracksuits, most of which seem to be touching their own balls.
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#20
Quote by Skynyrd890
God I have so much to learn about chav hunting.

Chavs really aren't that bad, they're only teenagers with nothing better to do than hang outside. Generally they won't give you shit unless you mess with them, but there's often one dickhead amongst their group.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

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#21
Quote by SteveHouse
Tenoit we'a hea in the sunny You Kay, 'nOI've been 'ot on the trail of the eloosive Chav. Le's get closa.



CROIKEY!
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#23
Quote by SteveHouse
Tenoit we'a hea in the sunny You Kay, 'nOI've been 'ot on the trail of the eloosive Chav. Le's get closa.



I miss him

Quote by Don_Humpador
This, but you have to look like a normal person or else the lure won't work.

Also, if you want to befriend them, buy some white lightning from the local Lidl.

I don't want to befriend them. I mostly want to experience them.

Quote by I.O.T.M
Chavs really aren't that bad, they're only teenagers with nothing better to do than hang outside. Generally they won't give you shit unless you mess with them, but there's often one dickhead amongst their group.


That's what I want. The one that see's itself as alpha-male!


So I gather that they're like the frat kids here. They will yell at people, wear a lot of plaid, and then walk away when you confront them.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#24
Quote by Skynyrd890
I miss him


I don't want to befriend them. I mostly want to experience them.


That's what I want. The one that see's itself as alpha-male!


So I gather that they're like the frat kids here. They will yell at people, wear a lot of plaid, and then walk away when you confront them.


It depends where you go though. If you go to some places they will quite happily beat the shit out of you and/or stab you and steal your things.
#25
Quote by Skynyrd890
That's what I want. The one that see's itself as alpha-male!

The one that sees himself as the alpha-male is usually the shortest, tall chavs are generally passive.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

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#26
Quote by Greenie_777
It depends where you go though. If you go to some places they will quite happily beat the shit out of you and/or stab you and steal your things.

I have messed with countless chavs in countless places around the UK, the worst you get is 'You startin' mate?', and when you tell them to bring it on they back off. They're my main source of non-internet entertainment.
#27
Quote by JohnRegular
I have messed with countless chavs in countless places around the UK, the worst you get is 'You startin' mate?', and when you tell them to bring it on they back off. They're my main source of non-internet entertainment.


I'd like to see you take this to some places in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool etc. and see the response you get.
#28
Quote by JohnRegular
I have messed with countless chavs in countless places around the UK, the worst you get is 'You startin' mate?', and when you tell them to bring it on they back off. They're my main source of non-internet entertainment.

Where'd you live? Chesire?

Two of my mates been stabbed, knife in my face.

Seriously though, chavs are just hilarious. Most are just twats.
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#29
Quote by Greenie_777
I'd like to see you take this to some places in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool etc. and see the response you get.

This. You're generally fine in small places like Dover, but you'll get fucked up if you try shit like that in London.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#31
Quote by I.O.T.M
This. You're generally fine in small places like Dover, but you'll get fucked up if you try shit like that in London.

Ha. You just called Dover a small place. Insignificant.
#34
Quote by Don_Humpador
Ha. You just called Dover a small place. Insignificant.

Dover's a small place with a big history, we don't need to overcompensate by having loads of people living here.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

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#35
Hahaha. Like others said, avoid the city area's because you will get stabbed.

The chavs local to me are growing 'rep' now and have moved onto bottling people and carrying knifes rather than getting mouthy. They wouldn't do anything though its just their front.

All in all there just immature idiots. There are alot of 'youngens' in my area, aged 10-14

As to finding them; Local bus stations, train stations, shops, flats, council estates, Nike air max/tn caps, swear alot.
Last edited by smokeysteve22 at May 4, 2011,
#36
Quote by Greenie_777
I'd like to see you take this to some places in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool etc. and see the response you get.

Been to Manchester and Liverpool and did my thing. I got some chavvy saliva on my face, but that's it, and was pretty hilarious.
#38
Just go to Manchester, Liverpool or East London and look at the nearest person.

70% chance they're a chav.

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#39
Anyone wearing a Chelsea shirt
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#40
Quote by Adam124
Anyone wearing a Chelsea shirt

"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

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