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#1
Hi all,

Had a bad day, Me and my girlfriend were supposed to have a special evening

together. She was an hour away but her parents told her she can't actually go to where I

am right now. We have been planning this for the whole week and we thought it would be

perfect. Oh well better luck next time I guess

So Pit,

When was the last time you were massively cockblocked by anything/anyone?
#3
I'm not familiar with the term. I was honestly expecting something relating to blue balls.

I am disappoint.
#6
Well, I went to this party with a couple of my mates at my other

mate's house and there was some girls already there, I had the

chance of getting with at least one of them but my big, fat, gay,

ginger friend kept being an absolute tosser so I decided to write

a poem about my endeavours and that poem is in front of yours eyes.

...I like pies.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#7
Quote by frankv
Edit: ^FFFUUUUUUUU!!

Well, since he was cockblocked, I only think he has one thing to pull. >.>

A long face?
Oh, you wouldn't want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise, they wouldn't wanna watch
#9
Quote by triface
I'm not familiar with the term. I was honestly expecting something relating to blue balls.

I am disappoint.


Uhm it means your **** was blocked by something....
#10
A few years ago now. Guy 1, let's call him dickhead, had been going out with Girl 1. They broke up. Girl 2 had fawned over dickhead for years, but nothing had ever happened. Our whole grade went away on a skiing trip. During this, me and Girl 2 flirted alot, got pretty intimate. Enter my friend, who was getting pretty close with Girl 1.

This resulted in dickhead watching his ex potentially getting with another guy, and the fallback girl was drifting away towards me. So, dickhead tells everyone that he saw Girl 1 and my friend hooking up. Girl 1 was extremely embarassed and hurt by the attention, so ended up keeping my friend at arms length. Nothing happened.

Dickhead then told Girl 2 that he might like her, but he didn't know and needed some time. Girl 2 took me aside on one of the last nights and told me that she just needed some time, and wanted to wait. She kept me at arms length and waited for several months, during which nothing happened between us but a bunch of frustration.

Very annoying.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#12
Quote by dann_blood
A few years ago now. Guy 1, let's call him dickhead, had been going out with Girl 1. They broke up. Girl 2 had fawned over dickhead for years, but nothing had ever happened. Our whole grade went away on a skiing trip. During this, me and Girl 2 flirted alot, got pretty intimate. Enter my friend, who was getting pretty close with Girl 1.

This resulted in dickhead watching his ex potentially getting with another guy, and the fallback girl was drifting away towards me. So, dickhead tells everyone that he saw Girl 1 and my friend hooking up. Girl 1 was extremely embarassed and hurt by the attention, so ended up keeping my friend at arms length. Nothing happened.

Dickhead then told Girl 2 that he might like her, but he didn't know and needed some time. Girl 2 took me aside on one of the last nights and told me that she just needed some time, and wanted to wait. She kept me at arms length and waited for several months, during which nothing happened between us but a bunch of frustration.

Very annoying.


Wow that's really crappy. I had a similar situation with that when I was just out of college. Just not as extensive as yours. Man is that annoying.
#14
Quote by ruste84
Ha, that's funny. Wait until you have kids.
+1

although, I'll just put on a movie for the kids and sneak off with the wife
E-Father to itorch, Andrea55, guitarxo and BlessedRebel15
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I blog...

Quote by Andrea55


#15
One time I smashed this chick in the back of the head with a brick and left her for an hour so her body could go cold and turns out I hadn't killed her, which was a total turn off... totally cockblocked myself
#16
I was talking to this girl and everything was going great, then her boyfriend pulled up a chair.
#17
Quote by Scottorocker
One time I smashed this chick in the back of the head with a brick and left her for an hour so her body could go cold and turns out I hadn't killed her, which was a total turn off... totally cockblocked myself

why wait till they go cold? They're better warm but yeah, not being dead is a massive turn-off
Quote by Ulalume
I had a friend who was held at gunpoint as a cashier. The robber told him to give him all the money in the register and what not. Apparently my friend then replied, "Would you like a slurpee with that?"
#18
Quote by OldiebutNewbie
+1

although, I'll just put on a movie for the kids and sneak off with the wife

how can you live with yourself?

I personally have never been cockblocked, though I've done my fair share of blocking (with good reason).
#19
Quote by MakinLattes
how can you live with yourself?
are you paying attention?
I'm getting some, I'm living very comfortably

other day was genius, wife gave the kids each a Fruit By the Foot (fruit roll), put on the tv, and walked up to me and said, 'the kids are distracted'

awesomeness ensued
E-Father to itorch, Andrea55, guitarxo and BlessedRebel15
E-Grandpa to Basti95, davrockist, KitKat555, Mark Roxx, Renegade_Lobo
E-Bro to slash_GNR666
I blog...

Quote by Andrea55


#20
I get **** blocked at least once a month for about a week since my wife doesn't like to have sex during her period. Other than that, it usually happens once a week anyway when she passes out because we stay up too late or she drinks too much. Usually she'll make up for it the next morning, but not all the time. Gets frustrating sometimes.
#21
Not a cockblock but a great story nonetheless:

My girlfriend and I had closed the door to my bedroom at about 9:30 last night and started getting a bit intimate... 9:45 rolls around and I hear my roommate turn on "Jesus Christ Superstar"... At a volume far past what he needed to actually hear it.

Not necessarily a cockblock, and it didn't work but... I will NEVER have sex to the soundtrack of that movie ever again.
#22
Quote by OldiebutNewbie
*stuff*

you...fornicate...while children are in the same building! that is what I was referring to, sir. I could never do such a thing.
#23
Quote by MakinLattes
you...fornicate...while children are in the same building! that is what I was referring to, sir. I could never do such a thing.

Get off your high horse. As long as the distraction isn't letting them play with knives/fire and they don't know what you're up to, what's the issue?
#24
Last time I was cockblocked was by my low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

What a bunch of dicks.
#25
Quote by MakinLattes
you...fornicate...while children are in the same building! that is what I was referring to, sir. I could never do such a thing.
you sir, will never have sex again after kids then

nevermind one time I was going at it from behind with the wife WHILE AT THE SAME TIME holding the doorknob closed behind my back cause my kids figured out they can use our car keys to unlock our bedroom door
E-Father to itorch, Andrea55, guitarxo and BlessedRebel15
E-Grandpa to Basti95, davrockist, KitKat555, Mark Roxx, Renegade_Lobo
E-Bro to slash_GNR666
I blog...

Quote by Andrea55


#26
Quote by frankv
Get off your high horse. As long as the distraction isn't letting them play with knives/fire and they don't know what you're up to, what's the issue?



nothing, dude. nothing at all.

edit: ^
#27
Quote by MakinLattes


nothing, dude. nothing at all.

edit: ^


Don't forget kids - sometimes sarcasm needs to be highlighted!
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#28
Didn't read ANY of the thread, but I too have been cockblocked.

Some lanky goth literally REFUSED to leave the room. The girl said, "Hey Chris... maybe me and Dan could be alone for a bit?" or something. His reply was simple.

"No."

bloody goths.
Have a Christmas
#29
I have once or twice just casually walked up to friends whilst they are chatting up some random girl and ask them how their chlamydia is.

Only if it was a random girl though, not someone they are clearly interested in... pretty funny stuff.

My friend got hugely cockblocked once.

He was chatting her up and telling her how nice she looked etc. and my other friend walked in and just goes "aren't you two cousins?". They both realised and just walked away - we ripped him for that for ages. How do you not recognise your own second cousin, yet your mate does?

edit - ^^ Funnily enough the poster above reminds me of the one time it happened to me. Although the **** block didn't last long as I got with the girl anyway a few days later. But me n this girl were flirting in my room at a house party while my friend was checking the surf report. We were there ages dropping heavy hints of wanting to be alone and the dumbass just sat there. The girl had to go so she goes to get her coat and I stay in the room... my friend says to me

"is there something going on between you two?"

"There might have been if you had ****ed off!"

Funny looking back.

Don't let your boat be empty, don't be a sunken dream
Don't let the boat regret thee, for what you could have seen

Last edited by Blayney at May 6, 2011,
#30
Oh and the classic, dickhead finishes girl, girl starts to like you, dickhead says he likes her again and then ****s her around all whilst you feel like a pleb.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#32
Quote by danielh123.
Didn't read ANY of the thread, but I too have been cockblocked.

Some lanky goth literally REFUSED to leave the room. The girl said, "Hey Chris... maybe me and Dan could be alone for a bit?" or something. His reply was simple.

"No."

bloody goths.


I'm sorry about that....Let me revoke their "I'm so non-conformist" badges
#33
Quote by OldiebutNewbie
you sir, will never have sex again after kids then

nevermind one time I was going at it from behind with the wife WHILE AT THE SAME TIME holding the doorknob closed behind my back cause my kids figured out they can use our car keys to unlock our bedroom door


You mean Ma'am i do believe.
#34
Well, I was on a "date" with a very pretty girl. We were just having a few drinks at the pub on a Monday night. THEN, someone I work with comes along and asks if he can sit with us. He's a nice chap and I don't like to be rude, so I said ok (thinking he'd be there for a few, then bugger off. He stayed THE WHOLE TIME). Then my other friend, who has the biggest ego in the world and things he's a babe magnet turns up and pulls out a chair. I wasn't intending on sleeping with this girl, just get to know her and talk, but it was meant to be us two as you would on a date but my two friends came in and just pissed all over my plans. Not that interesting a story I know but oh well...
#35
Quote by gothblade
Uhm it means your **** was blocked by something....


How nice of you to give a more distinct definition of it.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#36
My story.

I was picking up a hooker. You know how they are, it's always money up front. I gave her €100, and she didn't have any change on her. I left, as any man would.

Major cockblock
WARNING: Signature may not be handwritten
#37
Never been cockblocked

But then, there's never been a girl that would sex me
#38
I was at my house party hitting on this chick. She was drunk and I really wanted to pull her.

But then I went up to get some beer from the fridge. I come back, and who is making out with that chick? My Korean friend.

However, I love him so, so I wasn't mad.
#39
At a party, there was this chick there that I liked and we already made out and I had a couple of body shots. She then wanted to go to the downstairs bedroom where no one was so "i could play a song for her". As we headed down, some fat bastard comes along, says, "OMG you play guitar!?" grabs the guitar from me, follows us down, and proceeds to show me and the girl simple songs he learned at school for an extremely long time (think smells like teen spirit played poorly), as we sit there bored. By the time its over, everyone is already going home. **** that guy.

EDIT: Also it wasn't my guitar. It was the party host's guitar and he gave permission for anyone to play it before he passed out from some pretty bad alcohol poisoning
Last edited by Lost Dog at May 6, 2011,
#40
Cockblocked?

no, I will pull my dick out at any time anywhere in front of anyone.

I wouldn't even call what happened to you a **** block, just bad luck I guess, idk, I never have to deal with parents
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