#1
I'm gonna give the backstory of this, just because I kind of want to.
A while ago, I was with this girl for a good period of time, she got pregnant by some other dude in the midst of our relationship and it took the kind of toll on me you'd expect it to. She ended up having a miscarriage, and we don't talk anymore at all, so I wrote this kind of to the child she never had, in a sense. But yeah.
It's short, but intended to be a slow folkish song, so I kept it short and simple.
--------------------------------


for every dishonest bride,
there's an innocent womb.
and a dishonest man.
inside of her room.

then somewhere,
there's a man like me.
who doesn't know,
what she's about to do.
and no,
you're no son of mine.
but i still love you, i do.

and tell your mother.
i still love her, too.
#2
No C4C's in titles, please. I edited this for you.


This was quite touching. The only line I disliked was "you're no son of mine". It had a cheesy ring to it that reminded me of those badly made tear-jerkers from the early 90's with Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon.

I could simply be a case where a re-phrasing of the same idea would be enough and would work wonders. Either way I think the piece was very refreshing in its simplicity and content. Everything had a follow-up, as if the only reason why you'd write one line was to match the one before it or after it - and I like that.