#1
abandoned deck hands with a dead door's hinge,
tucked neatly dormant beneath a rotted mooring.
a sleep not disturbed by spring's waning winds,
settlers not seen who hold the harbor snoring.

sunbathed trunks hung through the lapboard alley.
skiffs and pieces of drift stuck below the antique wall,
and footprints paint the morning traffic tally,
as I followed some early and empty summer call.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
Last edited by freshtunes at May 9, 2011,
#2
The imagery here is erratic. I go from a farm, to a harbor, to alleys and ancient cities. It's all very distracting. It seems that you got so caught up in how you were saying, that you forgot what you were saying.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#3
Revised, and edited.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror