#1
Ah, so i'm back, with more djent then even before. this was a 180 shift in my songwriting style.

usually i GP stuff then learn it on guitar.

on here every riff was planned out on guitar before it was put in. and honestly, i like it better this way, sounds more consistent and heavy to me that way. What you guy (And girls?) think
Attachments:
Darkened Arts.gp5
#3
The piano intro was sweet, very haunting almost, but the slides kinda drag it down, they dont sound very natural, maybe try a grace note instead. Anyways, when the band comes in, that was awesome, very cool stuff. Loved that break at Bar 22. However, I dont get the point of the Bass being on a 6-string, or it playing powerchords. It looks like you basically jsut copied and pasted the guitar track onto the bass. I think a reworking of the bass could help a lot in this song. The drums seem solid enough.

I loved the variation of the riff at 39. And then the intro riff repeats, okay...The riff at 63 comes in, and I didn't like it too much. It seems kinda thrown in for no purpose, it doesnt really do anything for me. The only way I see it working effectively is if you have vocals overtop. At around bar 76, I realize that there needs to be more diversity in the song, but luckily that comes in right afterwards haha.

The re-intro of the piano was nice, liked the drums over top and those toms. The smashing outro was pretty sweet, I liked that riff, and it must sound heavy in real life; a lot of the heaviness of the song probably gets lost in MIDI form. I have to say though, track 7 guitar kinda sounded annoying to me. Instead of that, what I would do and what I think would sound epic as hell, is to have ensemble strings take over that part. Just add in the upper octave, take off the vibrato, and turn the volume to 11. Sounds better in my opinion.

The Last Go Around was a nice was to bring back that intro riff. Made the song seem much more complete. For the second guitar thats just playing those chords, it sounds a bit weird in MIDI, but maybe itll sound good and give it a little ambiance in real life. Drum outro was different, I guess it works here though, nice touch. Overall, it was a good djent song, not too long, but you might want to look at spicing it up a little bit. Theres a whole lot of djent, and I know that thats the genre, but still, some powerful chorus section would do good too, maybe add something other that a djent riff or a piano section. That said, your djent riffs are solid haha. But seriously, maybe just a 2-chord chorus section? Actually, I thought one would go well right before the piano re-intro. Here, Ill show you what I mean and add in something, you dont have to use it, but Im just saying, you know? Just like powerchords or something, can be powerful.

Also, do you think I could get a C4C on this? would be appreciated.
Attachments:
Darkened Arts EDIT.gp5
#4
I tried giving the chorus a try, and it honestly doesn't fit with this song, now don't get me wrong, I loooove me some choruses (you should hear some of my other prog/djent stuff) but it doesn't feel right to me.

although i did make a few changes to the song, added stuff, changed up some drums, wept gently, it all in here

also, lyrics in progress.
Attachments:
Darkened Arts.gp5
#6
Individually, I really enjoyed the riffs and all, but for me a whole song of extremely low end djenty riffs just gets extremely boring. It's possible that vocals could make it work, but as is it just doesn't hold my attention. Just not enough variety.

The actual riffs are sick, don't get me wrong, it's just that they all run into each other for me. If you were able to break them up with other sorts of sections it'd be an extremely solid song in my opinion.
Arms Of Empire
^ ^ ^ Band I am involved in ^ ^ ^
Please check it out? ;D


Axe FX II + EBMM JP6 + Jackson DK2S
#8
Am I missing something? The riff after the intro is just New Millenium Cyanide Christ by Meshuggah. The exact riff... Please tell me that I've missed something integral here.
#9
Naw, it isn't the exact same riff. It does sound like they use the same set of notes, but the rhythm isn't the same and the Meshuggah song has a more disjointed feel to it in regards to the rest of the music while his is less so.

The other comments basically covered what I was going to say. Needs more variety. To me, it felt like there were really only 2 or three riffs total. A section with some type of melody would be nice. Also escaping from that ultra-low register at some point wouldn't be bad (at least incorporating higher strings into a riff using it).
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Who's going to stop you? The music police?