#1
Here's a new one, haven't posted here for awhile, enjoy!

Is this all you wanted?
Because this is all I hate
This all you know
It's all so f***ing great
All my faith belongs to you
My blasphemy is this lonely faith

Show me how to kill myself
Cause this all I know makes sense
I wanna be there with all your beauty
And all your ignorance

I feel like drowning in my self created hell
To feel like a monster knowing I'm not so well
All this love we commit feels more like sin
I feel so dirty and so insane
Take me in and bleed me out
See everything sink and fall
This world turned into dust
Ashes take away all my trust

Break me down, build up
Its all you do to me
I f***ing hate myself
You expose all my frailties
Call me a liar, a false preaching god
I'm so in love with your hate and your lust

I've killed myself to prove my innocence
Just to see what you call heaven
I wanna be there with all your beauty
And all your ignorance

I feel like drowning in my self created hell
To feel like a monster knowing I'm not so well
All this love we commit feels more like sin
I feel so dirty and so insane
Take me in and bleed me out
See everything sink and fall
This world turned into dust
Ashes take away all my trust

I'm left to confess all my faults to you
History and violence, the things we all do
Every honest lie I keep telling you
I feel trapped inside a cancerous cage
Only alive to feel all this pain

I feel like drowning in my self created hell
To feel like a monster knowing I'm not so well
All this love we commit feels more like sin
I feel so dirty and so insane
Take me in and bleed me out
See everything sink and fall
This world turned into dust
Ashes take away all my trust
Last edited by *Thundernation* at May 9, 2011,
#2
This is entirely too long if you're going for a doom-metal song.

The rhymes seem a bit forced here in there. Maybe take a step back and look at it and try to rethink things in terms of flow and syllables.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER