#1
Crit4crit ism ism ism, just leave a link.
This is sort of a mock protest song, inspiration derived from John Lennons Give Peace A Chance...
If it entertained you tell me, if you didn't dig it, tell me why!

Our insistent resistance
Is tuned out by camera glare
Persistently vigilant
But still getting nowhere

In future it’s probably best
To not bother to mention
That you’re bothered,
It just causes bother for
Those that are bothered.


Dissident and militant
Juvenile protest
Redundant judgement
Opinions’ never mattered less

Certainly uncertain about
Those that are certain but
I’m certain that it’s best
To be
Uncertain about everything.
#2
Not bad brother, I really like the repeating in the verses. Me and you should try a over-the-web cowrite sometime, PM if interested.
#3
Ha, cheers man
Not only does my reply make me polite, it bumps this back to the top.
Oh YEAYUH.
#4
I really like the meaning of the song and what it stands for, we definitely need more people like this on the planet.
#5
My favorite part about this is the slightly different implications each usage of a repeated word gave. I love wordplay like that, and I think it was done well here. Only thing I didn't like was how it felt a little clunky sometimes, like some words could be cut. I think it might help to cut "fatty words" to better serve the flow. I liked the subject matter. I always feel like protest songs are hamhanded and dumb, and this was a little relieving. Good job.
#6
Hey, thanks guys.

ChainGarden, I can probably guess that the line you found to be clunky is "Opinions never mattered less". I just needed a line to throw in so I can put it up here, I'll have to rework it some how.
Last edited by Bag'ed at May 11, 2011,
#7
Liked the wordplay, it was rather clever. If you end up writing music for these lyrics, I'd be very interested in hearing it!
"Love everything. Know nothing."

"What do you mean 'do you even know how to play bongo drums?'?! Do I not have hands?! And pot?!"
#8
Liked the persistant use of big words, but when it comes to protest songs, snot did the best ever with a song called snooze button

"It's just another song talkin bout how you let them take your rights
Another redundant verse bout how you refused to fight
And lost, what cost your cause has got no champion
How did you hope to win by just complaining?"
#9
I have music to it, but I have no means to record. I could probably organize something but I always seemed to got ostracized by employment or social life. And I'd probably want someone with a deeper, angrier voice than mine, I'm too falsetto Thom Yorke-esque to make it sound how I can hear in my head?

But thank you for the comments, if you've anything you'd like me to read just link me!
#10
I really like the lyrics, very angry and emotional, and personally, I think your use of wordplay really adds to the power of the song.
EDIT: If you want to crit anyhting, my best ones (IMO) are in my sig.
#11
Thanks man, I'll get back to your pieces on Monday, no access to a computer this weekend!