#1
This is an easy-going, acoustic tune. It sounds like a country or soul song; I haven't decided which. Enjoy,

--------------

Television glow
Just a sick, blue light
Everybody's home
And talking into microphones

Cold, quiet food
Chewed into telephones
And the room's all full
Of dry and empty words

And it just ain't right
Cause when it's night
It's what we didn't say
That all comes back to me

Livid morning sun
Keeps me envious
Of all that's perilous
That I could say to you

And every time I bite my tongue
And let the moment pass
It makes me sure
That a dangerous thing
Can wear a beautiful mask

And it just ain't right
Cause when it's night
It's what we didn't say
That all comes back to me
#2
Fantastic.

Always write. Continue writing.

It's easy to cover music, it's not easy to create it.
"Because hoes don't trust anyone.. especially me."
#4
I really liked this man. I know you have a genre of music planned out for this but I think it could work in a lot of different styles.

And every time I bite my tongue
And let the moment pass
It makes me sure
That a dangerous thing
Can wear a beautiful mask

This was easily the best verse, especially the last two lines, very clever sir.
I'll read more of you work in the future man!

If you wouldn't mind reading over this for me
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440370
And telling me what you think, I'm not asking for a full crit, just something you didn't like, or maybe even something you did like?
Cheers man
#5
Very good I quite got the feeling of it , the loss , the troubled mind no rest wondering.

very nice lyrics I had to pick up my guitar to play it sounded good !! ^^

and i have to agree to Bag´ed rly had to smile nice lines

ps: i only registered to let you know that i like it
#6
the best part for me was:

Everybody's home
And talking into microphones


as someone said just now on another thread, worth the price of admission alone. I didn't dig the second stanza, chewed into telephones has some potential, but the rest of it seemed to direct an attempt to summarize a boring night of a family at home, not a topic that does much for me.

i do though agree with bag'ed that the stanza he pointed out is when taken together the best here, and pretty cool even on its own