Time to Rise

since english isnt my mothertongue i thought that this was partwise decent.

what do you think?

its in a Rock/Metalsong from my new band now.

Verse 1
everyone just drags you down
and tosses you around
but you dont even care
its like you where not there

everday feels the same
inflicting so much pain
and noone knows the truth
theres something killing you

not every wound is to be seen
not every scar will leave a mark
****ed up and broken down
your future is unknown

you walk like youre alive
but you are dead inside
your body keeps on going
but your soul already died

its time to rise
to make a new beginning
its time to fight and make yourself the one whos winning

its time to rise
and start a brand new life
leaving your old one behind

Verse 2

breath in new hope again
leave all the past behind
keeping your head up high
a new life to redefine

all doors are open now
the world is waiting for you
chances are yours to take
nothing of this is fake

with new self consciousness
you pass every test
no one can stop you here
no one will interfere

the ones that gave you hell
where watching as you fell
sounding the drums of war
its time to destroy them all
Last edited by Jim #4 at May 10, 2011,
dude this is pretty good. i mean the verses are a little lengthy maybe you could add a bridgeor something that ties it all together. you could make the last two stanzas of each verse like a prechorus. other than that i have no qualms with it. Crit for crit dude. my songs are the glory of villainy and almost human.