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#1
So two weeks after breaking up with her, I talked to my ex for a bit the other day, and she says I should text her when I'm in her town so we can hang out because she "has something for me"

Sounds weird right?

It gets worse, it will apparently "make me feel pretty" and "is very cool"

What is it Pit?

Bear in mind that we ended the relationship on good terms so I'm pretty sure it isn't a punch in the face or balls or something like that
Or at least I hope it isn't

Do it for the lulz


Suggested to me so far: Blowjob

EDIT: NO I am not gonna be a dad, we never did it...
Hi! I'm Andrew, and when I have a bubble in my throat I sound like Alan Rickman!

I have the BEST Jizz Face on UG!

My YouTube Channel (slowmotion stuff!): www.youtube.com/wannabeguitarlegend
Last edited by archerygenious at May 11, 2011,
#3
A dress.
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#5
Maybe TS is born with it...
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#7
Make you feel pretty?

She's going to tie you up and put makeup on you.
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kkoo
#10
It's herpes. Any time your ex wants to talk to you, the answer is herpes.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
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There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#14
T-Shirt FTW.
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GROW UP WE DONT NEED 2 CHEAT WHEN OUR KIDS ARE BEAUTIFUL

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Ummm, petrol? Nip down to your local petrol station, buy a litre of the stuff and soak your balls in it, light them up and start playing with them.
#15
a potted plant. it's definitely not a fog machine though, cause you're not that special.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#16
She's gonna toss you into the ocean where you will be "cool" and be "pretty" as in you will be frozn alive, forever!!!!!!!!!
#17
Quote by malmsteensolo
She's gonna toss you into the ocean where you will be "cool" and be "pretty" as in you will be frozn alive, forever!!!!!!!!!



....The fuck?
Sail upon the open skies
#20
A pearl necklace
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

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#22
During the whole relationship, one of her friends had a crush on you, but didn't say it until after.

You're ex is gonna hook you up. Possibly a MFF threesome
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#23
It puts the lotion on its skin.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#24
Quote by malmsteensolo
She's gonna toss you into the ocean where you will be "cool" and be "pretty" as in you will be frozn alive, forever!!!!!!!!!


this is pretty likely. that or else she will eat you TS.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#25
I'm betting my $1 on clothes for this one, or something used for fashion
It's not how big your pencil is; it's how you write your name.
#27
A Dr. Sheldon Cooper B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D

יהוה


[][]
/ \


Quote by sinisa

How about actually doing something rather than asking everyone here questions?
#28
Just in case your name is "Robert":


She will show you her new tattoo.
She's got "R" on the the left ass cheek and "bert" on the right one.


Works also with Bob, Billy-Bob, Joe, Moe, Christopher, and so on...
#29
also with W -0- W and M -0- M
יהוה


[][]
/ \


Quote by sinisa

How about actually doing something rather than asking everyone here questions?
#31
ilikepirates: will do

Everyone else: we never had sex and I did ask if it was a girl she's hooking me up with but apparently it isn't
Hi! I'm Andrew, and when I have a bubble in my throat I sound like Alan Rickman!

I have the BEST Jizz Face on UG!

My YouTube Channel (slowmotion stuff!): www.youtube.com/wannabeguitarlegend
#36
Quote by theogonia777
a potted plant. it's definitely not a fog machine though, cause you're not that special.

I would do anything for a fog machine

OT: She's come to tell you that you've got herpes...herpes makes people pretty right?
or do pretty people get herpes??

I forgot

Anyways it's probably her telling you that you've now got a son.
#37
Well if your lucky it might be a 3/4 full bag of cool original doritos, 13 orange peels and a gark green felt-tip pen.
#38
Quote by malmsteensolo
She's gonna toss you into the ocean where you will be "cool" and be "pretty" as in you will be frozn alive, forever!!!!!!!!!


This post made about as much sense as a Malmsteen solo.


OT: TS, we need more information. What makes you feel pretty? Oh so pretty? What makes you feel pretty, and witty, and gay? Is the answer "musicals?"
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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#39
Do you want to feel pretty?

Why, just why?
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#40
My girlfriend and I broke up on good terms after two years, and we've still been fucking each other for the past month and a half since it happened. Expect a sexual favour.
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