#1
I've been holding off on posting this track up for a while just because I would've rather recorded it properly over posting the midi but with minimal recording gear I thought this was the best route. It's quite different from some of my other stuff and probably the most vulnerable. It's definitely a song is a song I'd one day like to add vocals/lyrics but I'm not nearly comfortable enough with writing lyrics at this point.

Musically its pretty soft, mellow and simple with sort of a Jimmy Eat World Ballad type feel to it. I've got the GP5 and MIDI Below with the song also streaming on my UG Profile. Feel free to give feedback, always looking for ways to improve. If you have something for me to crit just send me the link
Attachments:
My Mistake.gp5
My Mistake.mid
#2
The intro seemed a little bit generic, but enough so that it really matters at all, it was nice. The transition between bars 8 and 9 wasn't great though. After playing around with it for a bit, I think itd sound the best if first, you got rid of the stop on track 4's guitar (just make that last note an eighth), and added a mute on the track 1 guitar for an eighth note before that starts playing, and also, have the bass rest for a quarter note before coming in, because it doesnt sound great having it play by itself a beat before everything comes in. I think thats still a touch transition for some reason, and I like what you had in mind, but maybe consider having it all in just quarter notes? Over the course of the intro plus the solo, I kind of get over it though.

Bar 25 sounds like the verse. Its great, really peaceful and soothing, and I loved that strings part! At bar 36, I think itd sound good if there was a bit of a buildup on the drums. The lead guitar sorta serves as a buildup, so if the drums followed before everything slows down in the chorus, thatd be sweet. I liked the chorus too, soothing as well.

From here, the song seems to repeat. Over this time, some vocal melodys went through my head, and thats just what the song needs. I think that any type of lyrics or vocals would sound good over this piece, because the music is so peaceful. I really like the slowdown in the chorus and the pulse-like drumline, its very relaxing, and the crescendo at bar 88 was fantastic. The next section was the "heavy as ****" section for the song, and it was great. The solo was great, but I think what the song needs is for a rhythm guitar to be hitting some distorted powerchords softly in the background, would really give this part more oomph. The outro was pretty sweet as well. Its sounding more like a post-rock track now and Im digging that. I didnt even notice that the chords would only play for 3 bars and then change. Good job. I think the ending needs a little bit more for a resolution. Maybe just a clean guitar waiting a beat and then slowly strumming a final chord?

Overall, the song was good, I dont listen to too much Jimmy Eat World, but for some reason, it reminded me of them, and their singer singing and it sounded very legitimate. I really didnt have many complaints, just thinks that you could do to make it better. So overall, excellent
#3
Mr.Mustard - Wow! thanks alot for going in depth with the feedback. The transition from 8-to-9 does sound a little shaky on GP but when I'm playing it live, the muted rake sounds better to me. I agree about the drums leading into the chorus. If/when I ever got any decent recording gear and good drum software, it would definitely be a section where I would want to rework the drums a little bit and like you said, maybe add a little bit of a buildup. I'm not a drummer (never played on a kit before in my life) so I just try to do the best I can on GP but I definitely think its the weakest part of my writing.

You definitely have a knack for some really tight melodies/vox so I'm sure you had all sorts of ideas . This is the first track I've written that I see as more than just an instrumental and definitely needing vocals I just suck at writing vocal melodies and have never had any success attempting to write lyrics lol. I think the ending is *probably* going to stay the same, I honestly just really like resolving with the synth track and having the guitar fade out. I Really appreciate the feedback and taking the time to go in detail with it. Layering is definitely something I love and I'll have to give a try with the power chords behind the solo.

Anymore feedback is definitely appreciated. If you have anything for me to look it just drop me a link as well.
#4
3 straight verses of that same pattern got a bit annoying, either change it up or cut one of them out. Aside from that, what Mustard said, and great work. The chorus had an ethereal feel that was really cool to listen to, almost Lydia like with the right vocals. The vocals could really sell this song man it sounds great. Just needs an overhaul on those verses.

If you wouldn't mind, a crit back would be appreciated. I'd go more in depth, but Mustard already did most of the work.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=27161295#post27161295
#6
This is just a quick skim through on bits I thought were good and bits that were not so much.

I liked how you missed the first note of the bar sometimes (Bar 9).

Chorus didn't sound much different from the verse.

It's all quite uninteresting until it gets to bar 72-76 which you should definately reuse.

The bridge is actually ****ing great reminds me of mr brightside.

Bar 96 is a great bar before the solo i love thatharmony made by the trememlo string

And the solo is sick.

You should probably thinking about putting some kind of light distrortion/crunch guitar at some point to build it up or else the texture remains quite similar throughout.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1439794

C4C?
#7
Well, I'm not sure why but I can picture David Bowie singing this. That's a compliment, by the way .

Fade-in intro was appropriate for the song, so was the intro solo. It's very soothing and easy-listening, good job. I'm gonna go with blake1221 here and say you should change the verse pattern a bit. Put a different Strings work, like the second verse of Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath.

Chorus was really good. Liked how you took out the snare, making it the sound more dramatic and melancholic. Bridge was good, but about the solo: How about some 3rd based harmonies from bar 105 and forward? It would really improve that part and would add more emotion to the outro.

It's all my honest opinion, don't be mad at me . It's a good song after all. Congratulations.

And thanks for the crit on my work.