#1
I can't really say if this is a first draft to the overall idea of the song; but it's definitely a first complete draft for the song that I've been trying to work on. Now I just made this up in the past 30 - 45 minutes but I've been trying to find the words for the lyrics (and the topic, but that's another story) for a while now.

Basically, critique this not as a completed song because it's not done. I still plan to go back and alter it as much as I can if I get any good ideas later; but in overall: critique this more as a first draft or a on the spot attempt.

What I've been trying to do is move away from my "write it all down at the moment" attempt into a more systematic and realistic structure to writing songs. I've gotten compliments with some ability in imagery and that's what I'm trying to aim for now with some exceptions. If possible, can I get some advice on developing my abilities in word manipulation (like how i can look at stuff from a different perspective? idk) and on how to structure my lyric writings because what I did was an attempt to work on it with each stanza and i don't know if my approach is appropriate.

(Yea sry for all the text)


Another Face to Forget

Everyday I push through the crowds
With the same unphased expression
They always say I look so distant
That's only because of your exclusion

Just another corpse in your way
Rot and crushed under the wheel
Don't you see the marks you've left me
Don't you think someone should help me

Tell me what i have to do
For you to just to look at my face
I never wanted to hurt you

I'll do what it takes
To say that I belong
I want to change this
Don't be forgotten

You gotta be interesting
A self proclaimed god to draw in the masses
Who hunger for your salvation
To feed on lies and manipulation

I can't bear it any more
The tactics to avoid being alone
I'm not going to lie and take this
I wont be another face to forget

I won't be left behind
I won't be left behind
I won't be left behind
I won't be left behind

Why do you hate me?
Is it because of my face?
Just offer me the blade and I'll gladly carve it away

Look upon each scar
As I tear each wound open
Now watch the blood spill; the transformation
Never forget this face