#1
Two tracks up for critiquing.
"So Cold" and "From The Ashes"

http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/whenbearsareborn/
or
http://soundcloud.com/whenbearsareborn

"So Cold":
Acoustic/screamo track recorded in a few hours.
Had somewhat of a solid feel in mind as we were recording and how we both wanted it to sound like.
Also, the "fuzz" you hear throughout the track is actually the sound of pouring rain.
Just so you know.
It's a final product.

"From The Ashes":
This track was improvised on the spot and I was very surprised to hear it afterwards.
This is going to be made into a final track sooner or later as soon as my vocalist gets out of the hospital.
He was sick when we recorded this track so the 'lows' are nowhere near as good as they will be in the final track.
Recorded in one go.

There you have it.
Critique for critique as always.
Let me know what your opinions are; good and/or bad.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. :]
#2
I felt like So Cold really didn't need the whisper scream, it rarely sounds good if ever. Had you done a full scream and just put it in the background it would have been better but tbh the song doesn't it.. The vocals were a bit thin but as a composition I really like it.
#3
Harlot_Hero,
'So Cold": Guitars sound nice, for the most part (a few notes sound odd to me). I agree that the whisper scream should go away. Non-whisper-scream vocals are OK, sometimes slightly pitchy. I wouldn't complain if you brought back the female singer.

"From the Ashes": I just don't like screaming like this (at times it sounds like you're throwing up, but I don't like "modern" screaming in general), but it's more appropriate than the previous song's whisper scream. It's just a demo, I know, but it sure needs some drums. I think the guitar riffs are good. I like parts of these songs, but I like most of your other songs better to be honest. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1437378
#4
k listening to So Cold now:

ooooh .... story line! haha

i like the mix of guitar, vocals, and rain. it actually sounds nice. although i think i'm noticing the multiple voices too much....maybe mix them to make it one reverbed voice ... then bring on the "whispered scream" in the back too?

i think what i would suggest, is cut this entire track in half ... and just have it as an intro to a heavy song ... where that whisper just escalates to a scream with heavy riffs, you know?

but i do like the ambience and feel of the song though! nicely done!!

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1437904
#5
Goin in on So Cold

ok a nice little skit intro that doesnt take up too much time, a tad bland but we feelin your goal here.

We like the static rain noise thing, its a good blanket to wrap in. We disagree that it needs to get louder and more crazy. We glad you just let it be what it is. The singing gets a bit outta tune at times but not really worried that gets better over time the more you listen.

Be proud! Sounds luvly, dont be afraid to explore more sounds tho

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440810
Don't tell me what can not be done

Don't tell me what can be done, either.



I love you all no matter what.
#6
Thanks for the crit.

From The Ashes: It's hard to judge a song like this without drums but it was alright. I felt the guitar riffs were kinda generic though, that main riff reminds me of BFMV. Guitar tone was pretty good though.

So Cold: I liked the chords, but I felt the quiet screaming and singing could do with some work. The rain is a nice effect. I think the vocal melodies could do with some more variation though. Nice little track though, the outro was really nice.
#7
Hey buddy, thanks for the comment on my song. Really enjoy the melody line you have going on here, very simple. but enjoyable. Would be good to hear it in better quality, but its a very original kind of music!
#8
So Cold - Guitar good, vocals solid, lyrics are weak. Seems like it's stuck in 2nd gear overall and doesn't have a 3rd gear

From the Ashes - Felt like more of a random go at it sessions than a song
#9
So Cold: As others have already stated, I would axe the whisper screams. Personally, I think a more evident, escalating vocal harmony would make the "so cold"s in the song sound much better and give a better effect. What I mean by this is you would have the vocal harmony sing a higher pitch every time the "so cold" comes around in the chorus. You guy a decent, very understated harmony throughout the song that generates a feeling of lonliness, which is good for this song. I like the rain, and the guitar parts are fine for my money. I really think adding the vocal harmony will add some needed-motion to the song, and greatly improve it.

"From the Ashes": I feel like the guitar riff was for the most part okay, but it is very hard to judge a song like this without full instrumentation. Granted, I understand that sometimes it is hard/impossible to achieve access to, say, a drumkit (believe me, I know this one personally), but all in all I feel like there is a nugget of a decent concept in there, it just needs further developement.

Thank you very much for the crit on my song, and good luck with your future songwriting endeavors!
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