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#1
So I saw this on Facebook and was wondering which states of the drunkness the Pit exhibit.

Give us stories too.


1. The fake drunk – the person that has one cruiser and decides to stumble and slur all over the place.

2. The happy drunk – the one that can’t stop smiling laughing and dancing in an uncoordinated manner. – usually gets lots of free alcohol as they provide copious amounts of entertainment for all those around.

3. The I love you drunk – the one that confesses their undying love for everyone “ I lobe you so mufchfd” usually ends in embarrassment

4. The ‘I have emotional problems when drunk’ – characterized by an intense sobbing in the corner, usually accompanied by mascara running down the face and a vow never to drink again

5. The pass out drunk – you probably didn’t even see this person as they were already on the floor before you got to the party

6. The booter – can’t handle copious amounts / awkward combinations of alcohol and end up with a date with the toilet seat.. if they make it..

7. The angry drunk – this person fires up like foil in the microwave at anything or anyone that gets in their way.

8. The horny drunk – you are on anything or anyone that moves or doesn’t..

9. The silent drunk – refuses to open their mouth, usually stares at inanimate objects

10. The invincible drunk – thinks they cannot die / get injured , tends to end up on the roof claiming they can fly.

11. the forgetful drunk - the person who no matter what will fail to remember the night and anything they may have/may not have done or said

12. The drunk texter/caller – reads their sent items in the morning and says "shit"

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#2
horny/invincible/happy
>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
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#4
I'm all twelve of these depending on the company and amount of alcohol.

Except I don't cry, I don't tell people I love them unless I actually do.

Oh and I only pass out if I drink vodka. Luckily I hate vodka, so it's not a problem.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Last edited by Todd Hart at May 13, 2011,
#5
2, 10, 11, 12
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

- Berthold Auerbach


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Wow, being surrounded by all of these humourless, pussy-whipped virgins is starting to make me sick.

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#6
The invincible drunk for me. I once drank a big bottle of vodka in an hour got to the party and decided it would be a good idea to run at the kitchen counter put both my feet out so they are on top of the counter so I just flip back and landed on my head.

I've also found myself up scaffolding and once at a 6th form formal some guy got it shut down for drugs. These guys were asking people if they were that guy so they could beat him up so I pretended to be him. Luckily cause I'm fairly large and because I was just laughing the whole time they were starting they didn't actually get me.
#7
10/2 although I have probably been all of the other 12 at one point in my life.
Last edited by true_bacon22 at May 13, 2011,
#8
A mix between two and nine -- depends on the party.
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#10
3. The I love you drunk – the one that confesses their undying love for everyone “ I lobe you so mufchfd” usually ends in embarrassment


The is infinately more dangerous when said drunken individual still possesses the motor skills required to operate a cellphone. My friend found this out when he phoned his boss up at 4am on a Sunday morning to declare his insatiable desire make noisy, passionate love to them in a variety of imaginative positions around their office.

He was at the Job Centre by Monday afternoon.
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#11
2,3,5,8,10,11,12
Sometimes a combination and sometimes a single one.

I have alcohol issues
I fell asleep on my arm once, scariest thing that ever happened to me. I thought it was kill.
#12
Usually I'm pretty normal, but I've gone through all of them except 1. That kind of crap really bugs me.
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FAC 13
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Last edited by Fiddelers elbow at May 13, 2011,
#13
Usually I get either extremely talkative and energetic or I get extremely moody and nostalgic and talk about my ex girlfriend lol.

sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#14
People who do 1 (pretend to be drunk) then 8 (horny drunk) really piss me off.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#16
happy drunk all the way.
i'm laughing and jumping on the dancefloor.
people laughing at me only fuels me to do more!
#17
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
Usually I get either extremely talkative and energetic or I get extremely moody and nostalgic and talk about my ex girlfriend lol.





I think everybody does that. "She's sutch a bitch!"
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FAC 13
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#18
Out of those, I suppose I'd be 2 and 3.

I've been told I'm sweet (read: lot less dickish) when I'm drunk, but I don't know whether I do it because I'm happy or it's just a variation on the 'I love you' drunk.

although 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 and 12 have made their appearances.
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#19
Quote by Fiddelers elbow


I think everybody does that. "She's sutch a bitch!"


I actually talk about her more in the sense "I still love her bla bla bla bla"
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#20
I shouldn't have a mobile when drinking........or steak! It's a hard sell convincing someone your sober when you're in the kitchen preparin a steak at 5am!
#21
all of them. depends on the mood, enviroment, etc
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At first he was like...
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But then, he was like...
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#22
2, then 10, then 3, then 4. And 11, although that tends to only apply to the fun bit.
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#23
Horny drunk and Invincible drunk here!

S'all good though, I'm quite good with teh ladies and I'm pretty build, so I have sucess at both horny and invincible shenanigans!
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#24
I generally am the happy drunk for most of the party, then get really really REALLY drunk in a very short period of time (dunno how this always seems to happen), and then pass out on a couch.
#25
I'd like to add a prograsseive scale of hangovers. I helped put this one together myself, it was translated to english by dutchmen only though.


For earthquakes we have the Richter scale.
For wind force we have the Beaufort scale.
For tornados we have the Enhanced Fujita Scale.

However, for the phenomenon Hangover, a proper scale was lacking.
Named in honour of Murphy (from Murphy's Law fame) we now have version one of the Murphy Scale of Hangovers.

The base index goes from 0 to 10, with the extended scale beyond.

Base scale:

• Category 0 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You haven't had any alcoholic drinks in the past 48 hours. (And no excessive drinking before that!) You're properly hydrated. You have no hangover.

• Category 1 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
Nothing to worry about. However, you do, subconsciously, take an extra cup of coffee. The hangover self-test (vigorously shaking ones head) turns out negative.

• Category 2 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You hit the snooze button on the alarm clock once. You take an extra cup of coffee and add a glass of water, orange juice, iced tea or the like. The hangover self-test turns positive, a head ache appears briefly.

• Category 3 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
Hmmmmm... You hit the snooze button three times. Out of bed, the first thing you do is take a leak. You drink warm water while showering. You could use an energy drink. If you smoke, you really need a cigarette now. You're in luck, a package remains, under the table but of course there are no cigarettes left in it and there is no lighter in sight. The hangover self-test turns out decidedly positive. So much so that you do not want to repeat it.

• Category 4 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
Forget snooze, you've switched the alarm off. A while later your bladder forces you out of bed to take a piss. Speaking of piss, it smells markedly different than normal, rather chemical to be more precise. While you bend over for the fallen tube of tooth paste, you note that you're NOT going to take the hangover self-test. Unfortunately you'll have to bend over at least once more, to reach for the part-baked croissants: you're hungry!

• Category 5 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
The alarm clock failed to wake you. Not falling over while taking a leak takes effort, both because it takes so long and your coordination is affected. Your head feels like there's a thumbtack in it and your mouth feels like there's a small dead bird in it. A pile of stinking clothes is on the floor. Time to make yourself an omelet, with lots of mayonnaise. Add a painkiller.

• Category 6 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You know you're laying still yet the world keeps spinning. A mild retch forces its way up. Water. Coffee. Fat calorie-laden food. A stronger painkiller. The thumbtack is now a big nail. The small bird is now a sparrow. A specific part of your brain sends sharp bursts of pain out, the rest of it just a general throbbing. You vow never to drink this much again. Driving a car now would result in DWI so you slowly walk to the local take-away for food and drink. Fighting nausea is involved.

• Category 7 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
Slowly you realize that coffee isn't going to do much good at this point. Lots of water appears to be the only remedy but that involves getting out of bed. The only thing you desire right now is to sleep it off. As ingenious as this idea appears to you now, your bladder foils the plan. You stumble your way to the bathroom. Leaning against the wall you take notice of your blood-shot eyes and decide to do absolutely nothing for the remainder of the day. Last night is completely fragmented. Your mates, those empty bottles, the midget with the weird proposal in that alley... First you empty the few remaining bags of crisps, a leftover from last night. You do so with the absolute minimum of movement. Once the crisps have decided to stay in your stomach you can crawl to the medicine cabinet. The nail is now a rail spike. The sparrow is now a dove. You'd wish for the cabinet to hold morphine. At this point, cleaning up of puke may be involved.

• Category 8 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You want to raise your head. You barely manage to do so and immediately decide to leave it at this one gesture. What the hell happened last night? A fat lip is a clue. Fortunately you don't have to get dressed because you still are. The fact that you and your clothes smell of booze and cigarette smoke doesn't matter. You experience a sense of relief because you appear to have puked NEXT TO your bed, not IN it. You manage to find something suitable to throw up in and a bottle with drinkable fluid and you make it to the couch. Now for the remote control...
... Half an hour later you wake again. You're lying face-down on the table. Rmote Cntrol!!!1 When you finally find the remote, you put on The Discovery Channel, with both the volume AND the screen brightness dialed very low. The puke, and the rest of the world for that matter, will be dealt with later. First you need that steel dowel removed from your head. You leave the dead condor where it is, you're going to avoid human contact for the rest of the day anyway.

• Category 9 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You want to raise your head but you fail to do so. An invisible force, well in fact a tremendous pain, keeps your head down. Is this what it's like to be dead? Your tongue appears stuck to your lip. Once you separated the two you sense that a piece of tooth is missing. That's enough physical exercise for now.
Later that evening, once you've deemed it safe enough to crawl down the stairs, you find the missing bit of tooth. You're not lucid enough to connect the considerable bruising and scraping on your knee to the dental mishap. You order a big doner dish, on tab, and three bottles of soda. You're awoken by the delivery guy. You have your meal, sitting on the floor, next to the front door. No matter that you have no fork. After you barf most of the meal back into its original container you manage to reach the couch. Instead of wondering why there is a packet of Lucky Strikes on the table, you light one. After some more puking you manage to get on the couch and fall asleep. The headache is off the scale. The dizziness insane. Sleep until I-don't-care-what-time.

• Category 10 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You want to raise your head but you fail to do so. An additional force keeps it down, the nature of which is acidic, lumpy and sticky. With effort you come to realize that you've puked yourself onto something. It turns out to be the door mat. You have no idea what happened. It doesn't matter, really, the door mat is soft. You don't have an urge to take a pee. That's because you have already done so. With your clothes still on. It's quite cool and airy anyway, right outside your own front door, with soaked pants. In a brief and panicky moment of comparative clarity you wonder if you should call the emergency number. Your phone however appears to have suffered terminally from the urine. Then you notice that it's not your phone anyway. You slide back into a coma for a while. Awake again, the pain is so bad you're hallucinating. There is a big bloody rave going in Painville! Is this the bitter end? No. It's bitter all-right, but that's because you've just hurled bile. "I think, therefore I am" is the one thing you cling onto. The dog from the neighbours sniffs your pants and gobbles a few chunks of your puke. The absurdity of which doesn't even register. You'll long for tomorrow, hoping to, by then, be down to Category 7.


The Extended scale of the Murphy Scale of Hangovers.

• Category 11 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You slowly wake up in a room you don't recognize. It may look like the living room of your parents. The people who observe you from the couch appear both worried and elated. Come to think of it, they resemble your parents... Wait, what?
Your mom tells you it's already evening again and that you're in the living room because you have to be woken up every hour, doctor's advice. An unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling in your throat and esophagus is explained, also by your mother. Something or other with pumping the content of your stomach. Meanwhile you can't escape the impression that your father is smirking somewhat. The stories your mate tells you about the previous night are as embarrassing as they are absent from your own memory. The terrible photos on Facebook, as well as those nasty messages in your inbox trigger the same results. The hospital report proves that not all high scores are to be proud of.

• Category 12 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You are awakened by a menacing beat. Bright pulsing colors cross your vision. Your parents are cool, they are at the party too! And a guy with what appears to be a lab coat. They do seem very happy. You want to say something to them, but the only sound you can utter is "whuuuurggllhheeeyy". The pounding bass subsides and only the beeps remain, which sound remarkably like those from a cardiac monitor. Your parents talk to you. You understand the words but you don't understand a single bit about you being found in a sand box. The white coat turns out to be a doctor. He jokes about you having lost a considerable amount of IQ points. His face doesn't look like he is joking though. Especially when he utters the words "possible lasting brain damage"...

• Category 13 on the Murphy Scale of Hangovers
You can only end up in category 13 once. It's final, though not necessarily fatal, mind you. You'll be either dead or brain damaged close to the level of a vegetable. Regardless of which it is, you don't need to vow on this one: you REALLY had your last binge.
If I'm high, does that make me a Flying Dutchman?

Legal weed, windmills, clogs, and speed cameras. Welcome to the Netherlands!
#26
I've experienced all of those except #1.

If I only drink beer or wine, I usually end up with some combo of 2, 3, and 8. Though I wouldn't say I'm a horny drunk, I just like physical contact a lot more. Basically, super friendly, really cuddly.

Liquor alone is 3, 4, 10, and 11. Only done that two or three times, not fun.

Mixing liquor with beer is the same as beer alone on a good night. On a bad night, it's 7 and 10. So the Hulk, but with vomit.

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#27
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
I actually talk about her more in the sense "I still love her bla bla bla bla"


We'll I guess that's the other side of the coin.
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#28
Horny, happy, loving drunk.
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#29
2 and 3 and that's me
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#30
I've exhibited nearly all of those behaviors except the forgetful drunk. I always remember everything crystal clear. Never a good feeling.

I would add the "WTF did I just do?" drunk, though maybe it doesnt count because there were brownies involved. At a party not too long ago I was drunk and ate about a third of a plate of special brownies that my friend made. At some point later I was talking to this girl and apparently she was pretty into me. Not too long into it I just turned around and walked away for no apparent reason.

This was all told to me minutes later, by another friend who said "WTF are you doing??? She's hot!" to which I replied "who?" I remembered everything before and everything after, but that 20 mins or so are completely gone.
#32
Quote by McGryphon
*Murphy Scale*

Been an 8 but only once.

worst I get usually is a 6 but the most common is a 3.

Is it bad that my normal day pretty much starts off with a 2 even if I've had nothing to drink?
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#34
all of the above?
Ill Take it all
Arrows and Guns.. Hundreds and more


Save you from one
#35
I'm none of those. I'm a little more energetic, but otherwise, I'm pretty much my usual self, right up to my limits.

My woman says my accent gets stronger though*.

________________________________________
* Side effects may cause increased attractiveness to Canadians.
#38
Really does depend.

Generally speaking though, I become a "waffler"; i.e. I talk insane and copious amounts of shit about pretty much anything and everything. There is no topic I cannot cover!

I also ring a lot of people, particularly girls.

An Arctic Monkeys song describes this beautifully:

"And she won't be surprised and she won't be shocked
When she's pressed the star after she's pressed unlock
And there's verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that is said is that you've drank a lot

And you can pour your heart out
Around three o' clock
When the two-for-ones undone the writer's block "


EDIT: Also, if I am not in the mood, I become a quiet, introverted, thoughtful drunk. I just stand and observe people, trying to work things out in my head.

I don't like this type of drunkeness particularly.
Last edited by fender_696 at May 13, 2011,
#39
2 & 8
Gear
Jackson DK2
Ibanez RGR320EX
Guild X82 Nova
Godin Seagull S6

Vox V847
Vox VT40+ / VFS5 VT


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#40
I am a very very very very very happy drunk, and sometimes 3 and 9 as well.

I have really low tolerance so some people think I'm 1.
cat
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